Unbearable Lightness

A Story of Loss and Gain

By: Portia de Rossi

Narrated by: Portia de Rossi

Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins

Publisher's summary

“I didn’t decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier . . .”

Portia de Rossi weighed only 82 pounds when she collapsed on the set of the Hollywood film in which she was playing her first leading role. This should have been the culmination of all her years of hard work - first as a child model in Australia, then as a cast member of one of the hottest shows on American television. On the outside she was thin and blond, glamorous and successful. On the inside, she was literally dying.

In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.

Even as she rose to fame as a cast member of the hit television shows Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, all the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids. She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner. With the storytelling skills of a great novelist and the eye for detail of a poet, Portia makes transparent as never before the behaviors and emotions of someone living with an eating disorder.

From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love with and eventually marrying Ellen DeGeneres, and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.

In this remarkable and beautifully written work, Portia shines a bright light on a dark subject. A crucial book for all those who might sometimes feel at war with themselves or their bodies, Unbearable Lightness is a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

©2010 Simon & Schuster Audio; 2010 Portia de Rossi

Critic reviews

“Breathtakingly honest, brutal and beautiful.” (Jonathan Safran Foer)

“Possibly the best book on the subject ever written. De Rossi is the real deal, a fine writer with a sharp mind and substance. This rich, layered book of remarkable courage, power, and significance will serve as life-changing inspiration for many.” (Augusten Burroughs)

“De Rossi tells her story with genuine insight and unflinching honesty. You will cheer her on.” —Jeannette Walls

Now I Understand

Thank you Portia, for allowing your audience into the private and vulnerable place in your mind. Your candid articulation gave me the perfect experience of your struggle; something I would have otherwise never understood, but now I do.

This Book Is About Eating Disorders..and....

Low self esteem...If you can relate to either. You will enjoy this book.If you cant... you wont enjoy it....Well told...Honest...And all so very true...
WARNING:possible trigger for people in recovery as she goes into great detail....

Portia de Rossi lets you see inside her mind and beautiful soul.

This book is amazing! Portia de Rossi lets you into her mind as a sick anorexic, the little girl that longs to be "accepted" and trying to live up to modeling/actress standards in Hollywood. Listening to her read about her journey feels like she's right there with you just talking to you about her story. I love it and anyone else that takes a listen will love it as well.

Her honesty drew me in completely

I listened to Portia de Rossi read her memoir and throughout I just kept thinking how brave she was to really let the full bat-sh-t craziness of her struggle with eating disorders come through the page. Because, girl was F-ED UP!

She also had some really interesting things to say about feminism and body image, particularly within the Hollywood industry, things you don't hear a whole lot coming out of Los Angeles. She was also incredibly honest about her struggles with her own sexuality, how it fed into a real isolation and self-hatred that was intertwined with her eating disorder, and just her own sense of self.

The one thing I will say about listening to this book rather than reading it, is you don't get to see any of the images. It's one thing to hear some one say they weighed 82 pounds, but it's a whole other ball of wax to see de Rossi in her former skeletal state.

I was also hoping, as a fan of "Arrested Development," that she'd provide a little behind-the-scenes stuff, and perhaps, in another memoir she will. She should continue to write, her honesty drew me in completely.

A candid look at Anorexia and Bulimia

Having suffered from an eating disorder myself, I can tell you that this is a very candid look into the life of someone who is suffering from one. The book gives you a very honest look into the very real and, for the lack of a better word, crazy, thoughts, one has when encountering food. If you need are feeling alone in your recovery, or want to help someone recover, definitely pick up this book.

Be prepared for the ride of your life............

One of the most books written with courage and honesty. It touches anyone with an eating disorder and during the listen, I could feel my heart pound with the words of Portia's illness and how much of her everyday life it took from her. My mind could not wrap around the pain and energy it took to keep her 'eating' under control. I wish this woman all the best on her journey to recovery. A+

i loved it...i'm glad it found me.

I loved it I'm glad it found me. it found me by change I was watching an interview with Portia knew who she was but didint know much about her. This is a fairytale with many struggles along the way. she is brave.

Vivid depiction of an anorexic mind

Where does Unbearable Lightness rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

It was enjoyable, above average, though not the greatest but I enjoyed it. Would buy again.

What about Portia de Rossi’s performance did you like?

She was a good narrator, but can sound angry too often.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No

Any additional comments?

It's good overall, even though most of the story is very oppressive, except the long epilogue.

Hated ally Mcbeal but loved this memoir

I hated the show ally Mcbeal but my roommate watched it and the first time I saw Porsha De Rossi I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on TV.. I cannot believe everything that was going on with her at the time. I literally could not stop listening to this once I started and finished it in 2 days. Outstanding!

Love this.

Loved her and the story. Just sometimes I couldn’t tell if we were in a flashback or the present, but maybe that’s on me ♥️