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Room Service Is Closed
- Dispatches from the Front Desk
- Narrated by: Brandon McKernan
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
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Room Service Is Closed
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Publisher's summary
There are a great many horror stories from people who have stayed in hotels and had a miserable experience. No offense to those people, but working there isn't all rainbows and sausages either. The front desk, usually the first and last point of contact, is where the vast majority of foolishness takes place. And the front desk agent is witness to it all. One of those front desk agents was me. Armed with bitterness, sarcasm, and general unpleasantness, I try to survive the world of The Hotel, a place filled with overly perky HR people, mind numbingly dull coworkers, and managers sent straight from the darkest pit of Hell. That's not to mention the guests, a whole breed of crazy all on their own. Join me on my journey where I learn that the hospitality industry isn't very hospitable and perhaps I don't have the right attitude to be in it.
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,044
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 630
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 432
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Story4 out of 5 stars 437
Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,970
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,645
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,638
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 912
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 909
Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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5 out of 5 stars
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 127
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 115
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 115
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 355
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 319
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 316
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 269
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 235
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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The Art of the Pimp
- One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money
- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 109
Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 155
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4 out of 5 stars 139
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 395
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 346
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 346
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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2 out of 5 stars
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
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Faces of the Gone
- Carter Ross, Book 1
- By: Brad Parks
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 361
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 314
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Story4 out of 5 stars 315
Four bodies, each with a single bullet wound in the back of the head, stacked like cordwood in a weed-choked vacant lot: That's the front-page news facing Carter Ross, investigative reporter with the Newark Eagle-Examiner. Immediately dispatched to the scene, Carter learns that the four victims - an exotic dancer, a drug dealer, a hustler, and a mama's boy - came from different parts of the city and didn't seem to know one another.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
- By shelley on 02-16-18
By: Brad Parks
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Ghosts of Manhattan
- A Novel
- By: Douglas Brunt
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
It’s 2005. Nick Farmer is a 35-year-old bond trader with Bear Stearns clearing seven figures a year. The novelty of a work-related nightlife centering on liquor, hookers, and cocaine has long since worn thin, though Nick remains keenly addicted to his annual bonus. But the lifestyle is taking a toll on his marriage and on him.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great Book
- By Melvin on 06-30-15
By: Douglas Brunt
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Out of Orange
- A Memoir
- By: Cleary Wolters
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 214
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Story4 out of 5 stars 215
The real-life Alex Vause from the critically acclaimed, top-rated Netflix show Orange Is the New Black tells her story in her own words for the first time - a powerful, surprising memoir about crime and punishment, friendship and marriage, and a life caught in the ruinous drug trade and beyond.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must read for OITNB fans
- By D. T. Douglas on 06-21-15
By: Cleary Wolters
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Upside Down
- The Men of the Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 182
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 157
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Story4 out of 5 stars 156
Through public triumphs and private sorrows, the men in the Sisters' lives - husbands, friends, colleagues, and lovers - have offered invaluable aid and support. In the process, they've become an informal brotherhood of their own, able to relate to the unique challenges and rewards of life among the vigilantes.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Lacking
- By Ken Huffman on 09-19-15
By: Fern Michaels
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Hot Mess
- By: Emily Belden
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Twenty-something Allie Simon is used to playing by the rules - until Chicago's most sought-after, up-and-coming culinary genius, Benji Zane, walks into her world and pulls her into his. The only thing more renowned than Benji's mouthwatering masterpieces and equally luscious good looks? His struggle with addiction and his reckless tendency to live life on the edge, no matter the havoc he wreaks along the way. But loving someone means supporting him no matter what, or so Allie tells herself.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Just finished...
- By Joanne Cunningham on 01-08-19
By: Emily Belden
What listeners say about Room Service Is Closed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Pegret
- 03-27-15
Tip Please!
Having worked within Hotel Industry since my teens, I figured this was a sure buy for memory lane. Some of the stories amusing - but - took me a long time to get thru the audio of the book - did not keep my attention as much as I thought it would. Yet, I found my self shaking my head at so many of the true things that happen in hotel world.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 12-28-16
Loved it
This kept me laughing! I want more from him! Extremely entertaining from start to finish!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Charlena
- 05-21-19
SO funny!
Mindless fun. I laughed out loud so many times. The narration was annoying in the beginning but once I got used to it, I really enjoyed his style.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Rnmedic1180
- 05-30-18
Loved it
Great performance great story made me laugh out loud Listen to the entire book in one day to the entire book in 1 day
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carol
- 04-14-16
Fantastic Book
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
The is one of the better books I have listened to. So much that I have listened to it multiple times. The narrator MAKES this book!!!
I know people are entitled to their own opinion but.....get over yourself it's just a book.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Book made me constantly laugh.
Any additional comments?
The Narrator is perfect!!!
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Macrno
- 06-14-18
McKernan Makes It!
This is a humorous story told in the first person by the writer. The story itself is helped by the narration from Brandon McKernan, who brings the characters to life and infuses more humor through the narration.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Patrick Marks
- 09-17-15
decent
not overly amazing but we'll worth finishing. many laugh out loud moments, I yes I just don't get the overly grumpiness and constant complaining.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- DJ Nelson
- 08-09-19
disappointed
not great listen. just seemed to be rather boring and dull didn't hold my interest
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Nicole
- 10-06-15
Sarcastic bullshit
Not entertaining or informative at all! Worst audiobook I've encountered so far! I would love a refund! I never write bad reviews. I usually just don't bother. I can't believe he got a book deal!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- meg
- 01-18-19
Boring
The guys voice is as boring as his story. I couldn’t get past the 2nd chapter and had to return the book.
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