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Publisher's Summary

From the million-copy best-selling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burrough's most provocative collection yet.

  • This audiobook is approved by those seeking pleasure, escape, amusement, enlightenment, or general distraction. It is not approved to treat disorders such as eBay addiction or incessant blind dating.
  • In some studies, people reported inappropriate, convulsive laughter, a tingling sensation in the limbs, and sudden gasping. Fewer than 1 percent reported narcolepsy.
  • This audiobook has been shown to be especially helpful to those with parents, grandparents, life partners, and incontinent dogs.
  • Do not operate heavy machinery while listening to this program, until you know what effects it may have on you.
  • Ask your doctor about Possible Side Effects.
©2006 Island Road, LLC (P)2006 Audio Renaissance, a division of Holtzbrinck Publishers, LLC

Critic Reviews

"No one is funnier or more perceptive." (Publishers Weekly) "Irreverence done to an amusing turn." (Booklist)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings


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  • Overall
  • T
  • 01-18-10

Clever title, amusing publishers summary

But wow, what a let down. The publishers summary was more cleverly written than the book itself. I really should have read the reviews and not just checked the rating before forking out the audi-credit for this one.

I had a friend download this for something funny to listen to one night during a long car trip. After 2 short stories and several half-stories that we just couldn't make it through, we decided instead to drive the rest of the radio-waveless wilderness in complete silence. It was that bad. Eventually we found a garbled classic-country music station and both felt better about the whole experience.

To start off, the author states that Some of the events happened as stated, others were expanded and changed. Some of the individuals portrayed are composites of more than one person and many names and identifying characteristics have been changed as well. I wasn't sure if this was just dry humor but with those restrictions up front, I thought, This has to be an outrageous book! This author is published and successful and because he is making something up out of nothing or almost nothing, I expected a lot more than I got. The stories I listened to reminded me of a conversation with a pathological liar talking about what 'interesting' (i.e. boring) and nearly unbelievable chain of events happened to him last weekend. I can enjoy a book about the nothings of life, but this was ridiculous.
I have a couple years worth of titles from and so far this is the only one that if I could, I would ask for a refund. This is also the first one I've ever written a review for, but maybe it will help someone.
I did not make it through the whole book! This is my opinion after listening to a little less than half the book. There may be some gem in there that I missed. If you read it and love it, please write a review.

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Elliot
  • Lethbridge, AB, Canada
  • 11-12-07

downloaded on a whim

I didn't know what to expect with this book and what I got was the rambling of a gay alcoholic hypochondriac. Fortunately alot of it was very funny and interesting. I found the beginning a bit slow but it got better a few chapters in stayed that way for the remainder.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Michael
  • East Peoria, IL, United States
  • 06-27-06

Everything it was advertised to be

The cover claims not to listen while you operate machinery, etcetera, etcetera, and the book actually lives up to its dust jacket. It was as entertaining as it claimed to be, though it wasn't packed with hilarity it was entertaining and moving in some part. I had no idea when I bought it that it was a collection of short stories and I usually don't get into books like that, but once I got into listening to this book, I thought it was definitely worth the price.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

More of the same, but that's not so bad.

Similar to Augusten's Magical Thinking, this is a collection of short stories from his life. Some are pointless, some are mildly interesting, and others are really good. His narration and the quality of the writing is excellent, as usual. Often his stories make me remember simple things from my childhood, like sitting in class and spelling "Shell Oil" on a calculator.

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  • Performance
  • Story
  • GoGo
  • Phx, AZ
  • 06-17-17

Thank You

I stumbled upon You by chance and I'm so glad you take pride and the time to read your own books. You are a fun writer and one of few that gets me off guard laughing Would love to meet, I'm also in recovery 2.5 years. In Phoenix and teach English. I wish I would write, you inspire me, your flow is melodically comical and you do a great job recreating all your events. Ok you prolly don't even read these, Tinea Rose 🌹 6022927873

  • Overall

There he goes again!

Does Augusten Burroughs write anything that ISNT great???
The only thing better than this read is hearing Augusten , in his voice, via Audible. I read and laugh because this man and his writings are a true portrait of dysfunction and fun !
You wont be disappointed with this book, its REAL!!!! I would give him 5 stars but " Dry" is the best works by Mr.Burroughs.😁

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Loved the 'short stories'.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. I love how expressive Augusten's views are, and the way he describes them in such telling detail.

What did you like best about this story?

That the chapters were somewhat short-allowing me to hear one at a time while I drove to and from work. I love the honest observations and interpretations that he had as a kid. And his cooking show. I giggled myself silly and had to listen again. That was aDORable!

What does Augusten Burroughs bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

So much life and the depth of his feelings.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I did. I felt bad for the Grandmother that he didn't like-even though she wasn't kind to him. I'm glad to know he understood why she was the way she was and knows that it's okay not to love her so deeply. I also felt better knowing he came to understand more about his own mother through his Grandmother's actions toward himself.

Any additional comments?

Have a listen. You won't regret it.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Less Than Expected

I was somewhat disappointed in Augusten's latest collection. There didn't appear to be any unifying factor to the pieces, and some seemed to be repetitive of earlier offerings. Still, a less than perfect August Burroughs pleases the senses more than many first rate hacks of modern storytelling.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • M.
  • 10-12-08


This was the most boring waste of my time. I deleted it before finishing.

4 of 13 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Terminal hilarity

This book was especially enjoyable with the author's personal deadpan delivery. I did think that at the end of some of the essays, the punch line or conclusion was a little unsatisfying. But nevertheless the last piece was flawless and the last line totally worth the wait.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Overall
  • Swirlypepper
  • 06-04-08

So funny

I really enjoyed this book, the way he writes is so funny and his melodramatic statements make you love him ('was this special premium extra-ply tissue? No? it seemed British people ALWAYS use tissues this soft!') as do some of the stories he tells (his fear of the tooth fairy). I also liked that each chapter was a pretty much unrelated story so dipping in and out meant you lost no continuity.

The only downside is that the narrator sounds bored when he reads, which detracts from the clever writing. Shame, since he's the author too and should have been more enthusiastic

2 of 2 people found this review helpful