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Publisher's Summary

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
©2005 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Tantor

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 3.7 out of 5.0
  • 5 Stars
    494
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    428
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    327
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    161
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    125

Performance

  • 3.8 out of 5.0
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    188
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    85
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    67

Story

  • 3.7 out of 5.0
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    341
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    258
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    98
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Narrator

I would have enjoyed this book more if it had been narrated by Chelsea Handler.

  • Overall

Sad stories

I was hoping for a female "I hope they serve beer in hell". Not at all what I got from this book. Low self esteem and sad stories of settling for awkward sex at best.

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Not read by author - didn't know this before purchasing

She definitely makes the book more interesting when she is reading it herself. Not as happy with this as her other books narrated by her. But still hilarious!

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loved it

Can't wait to hear Uganda be kidding me or Bang bang Chelsea. I finished this book in 3 days.

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  • B Cook
  • Camden, AR USA
  • 04-16-16

The book that started it all

Would you consider the audio edition of My Horizontal Life to be better than the print version?

I'm on the fence on this one. If it was narrated by the author I would say definitely, yes but since it's not...eh, this one just comes down to a matter of preference of media.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Chelsea Handler, of course! Do we really need to list the reasons? She's hillarious with her dry, politically incorrect, self deprecating, and never take yourself too seriously humor.

Have you listened to any of Cassandra Campbell’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No, and I have no clue. She did a good job as a narrator...but I would have much more preferred the author to have narrated the book herself as she has done with her books since.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

A recurring, uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud.

Any additional comments?

Chelsea Handler just writes a great book. She's had an interesting life or creates the illusions of one anyway, depending on how much of the book is true. Either way, I'm glad to have experienced it and I have no doubts that anyone who listens will find something to laugh at. This book being her first, I guess we could call it the book that started it all. The only thing that would have made this book better would have been for Chelsea herself to narrate. The non-Chelsea voice is somewhat off putting at first, but you get over it and quickly get lost in laughter.

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don't do it

the narrator sounds like she's on valium. Chelsea Handler says in the book she is a confessed pathological liar, so the majority of the stories - which aren't even that interesting - are likely lies.

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funny book, boring reader

I've read this book before and was excited to get it on audio so I could listen to it on a trip with my husband. half way through the 1st chapter my husband said "this can't be Chelsea Handler reading this, it's so boring" there was no emotion behind the person reading and will NOT be getting another book if she is the one reading it. I actually laughed out loud when I read this book myself and never even cracked a smile when listening to it. painful.

  • Overall

I just wish Chelsea had narrated this book as well

without her voice, it's just not the same. oh well. maybe she'll come back to it.

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Just gross

Not funny. Just tasteless and gross. I'm usually a fan of Handler's humor but this book was a real miss for me.

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love anything Chelsea Handler

whats not to love?! Anything with Chelsea Handler makes me literally laugh out loud! I love love love Chelsea Handler :)