Regular price: $23.44

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

At the age of 15, Cat Marnell unknowingly set out to murder her life. After a privileged yet emotionally starved childhood in Washington, she became hooked on ADHD medication provided by her psychiatrist father. This led to a dependence on Xanax and other prescription drugs at boarding school, and she experimented with cocaine, ecstasy - whatever came her way. By 26 she was a talented 'doctor shopper' who manipulated Upper East Side psychiatrists into giving her never-ending prescriptions; her life had become a twisted merry-go-round of parties and pills at night and trying to hold down a high-profile job at Condé Nast during the day. With a complete lack of self-pity and an honesty that is almost painful, Cat describes the crazed euphoria, terrifying comedowns and horrendous guilt she feels lying to those who try to help her. Writing in a voice that is utterly magnetic - prompting comparisons to Bret Easton Ellis and Charles Bukowski - she captures something essential about both her generation and our times. Profoundly divisive and controversial, How to Murder Your Life is a unforgettable, charged account of a young female addict so close to throwing her entire life away.

©2017 Cat Marnell (P)2017 Random House Audiobooks

More from the same

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Performance

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Story

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
No Reviews are Available
Sort by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • catherine griffin
  • 09-03-17

Mildly entertaining, delusional, annoying

If you are looking for an inspirational story about a woman on drugs coming through the dark times and finding herself, do not come here.
Self obsessed and delusional.
Mildly entertaining.
Please stop screaming your narration.
On a positive note, well done for writing the book.

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • mwb
  • 03-07-17

Get a Grip, Woman!

What disappointed you about How to Murder Your Life?

It's hard to relate or have sympathy for a woman who has lived a comfortable life of enormous privilege yet can't stop messing up her life so shamelessly. I felt like shaking her and telling her to get a grip. I wasn't invested. Almost at the end and I can tell she's not going to be clean, and no redemption at the end. There's no motivation or reason, somebody will always be there to wipe her backside and insulate her from life's realities. I'm sure she's a nice person but it doesn't emerge in this story. if she really has talent, get back and rise to the top drug-free. then I'll read your follow-up and be really glad for you.

Would you ever listen to anything by Cat Marnell again?

no, unless she becomes more humble

How could the performance have been better?

it was read with feeling, like somebody who enjoyed acting out her life.

19 of 20 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • ania
  • 02-16-17

Terrible audio narration

The story is actually ok but the author spoils it by narrating it herself. She already has a very high voice pitch and and half of the time she just shouts. It is difficult to endure. Additionally, I found the ending quite pathetic. 'Im still on drugs but Im so much healthier and happier now' - sounds silly and insulting to anybody who knows just a little bit about addiction. It feels like her piblisher forced her to finish on an optimistic note.

15 of 16 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Bee
  • 03-03-17

Mixed

Parts are really absorbing and the honesty is refreshing. But long lists of designer names and cosmetics are tedious. Ms Marnell may have included them as an ironic contrast to the grim consequences of drug taking but they are still tedious. Also, there's no analysis of why the writer behaves as she does. Deep reflection may not have been the object of this book but it left me unsatisfied.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Nicola
  • 02-25-17

A long way to go

Great performance. Addiction isnt about the chemical hook of drugs, its about soul holes and gaps in our social network. Cat clearly has so much potential, I hope she fills her world with good people who are true friends, that's how we recover.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • roxanne
  • 02-18-17

How to murder your life

Cat's honesty is always refreshing and her delivery was fantastic (apart from the screams. AHHHHHHHH!)

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Starsky243
  • 05-27-18

Excellent Book

Funny and Engaging book from start to finish. Cat Marnell reads it with such character. An excellent book!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-14-18

The best audiobook I've listened to

I've listened to 50+ Audible audiobooks and this is by far my favourite. I listened to it about a year ago (and twice again since then) and it still sticks with me. It has serious Bret Easton Ellis vibes. I love the story and how it doesn't come to the conclusion you would expect.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Sinead Dee
  • 02-22-18

Not sure what compelled me to finish

I think maybe I’m in the wrong demographic to read this book. It is incredibly honest, funny in places & Cat can write. The screaming in it drove me bonkers! Too much of it too often and it adds nothing to the book. I hope someday she leaves all the meds behind & finds the life she says she wants. .undoubtedly she deserves peace of mind. I hope she finds it.

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Suswati
  • 02-12-18

Trivialises addiction, rather cringeworthy

It has been said that people who begin abusing drugs and alcohol at an early age, tend to stay stuck in that mindset - so it's hardly surprising that the shallow Cat Marnell writes like a teenager.

Marnell describes one ridiculous drug-fuelled event after another, and even talks about the $28,000 rehab facility her father pays for. She adds how she squandered one opportunity after another due to being completely unable to stay clean. And while you should feel sympathy for her, it's quite hard to do so.

So I can say without a doubt that I found this book rather irritating and narcisstic. After all, if Marnell wasn't a privileged white woman, she would have been in prison about 15 years ago. Her trivializing of her own addiction and frankly, bragging about her encounters, just represents how little understanding she has for the majority of other users. And though she does mention her privilege at times, it's almost an afterthought. The fact that the media have glorified her behaviour is equally despicable.

As someone who is aware of addiction, and knows those on the streets - about 90% of this book is cringeworthy. The last part is on her self realisation and it's the only honest part of the book and should have been placed as the prologue.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • winky81
  • 03-21-17

Addictive Listening (bad pun I know!)

What did you like most about How to Murder Your Life?

I literally could not stop listening to this book. It took me just 3 days to finish it, the quickest I've ever gotten through an audible book. Cat's Drew Barrymoresque voice as she retells quite horrific experiences feels like you've got a friend in the room with you laughing, crying and shrieking through it. I loved all the references to what she was wearing clothing and beauty wise plus all her TMZ pop culture references also.

What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Murder Your Life?

There are so many insane things in this book it's hard to pin it down, what stuck with me was in every situation you could sense her desperate loneliness and her need for a real connection with someone. It was haunting.

What does Cat Marnell bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Her gorgeous voice complete with crazy sound effects. Plus you really hear the pain in her voice as she retells horrible things that she's experienced. And her impressions of different people's voices especially her father's are hilarious.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The relationship with her sister throughout the book from her sister being sent away as a teenager to desperately trying to save Cat from an overdose as an adult.

Any additional comments?

As an Aussie girl around the same age as Cat I was able to follow every reference she gave in the book. However I had never heard of her or followed her columns in the day and only knew of her through vague references in pop culture. This didn't matter tho, throughout the book I found myself rooting for her the whole time and willing her to get better, whilst feeling her neediness and despair. It made for intense listening and I just could not stop.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 05-29-18

Couldn't get half way

I had high hopes for this book, thinking it would be a candid portrayal of addiction, mental health issues, the pressures of becoming an adult etc. Cat is open about addiction, i'll give her that. But after the first hour of listing off random bourgeois building names in New York, perfume and makeup brands, the people she knew in high school, her ~amazing~ social status, I was ready to throw in the towel. These things gave no depth to the story and came across as super pretentious and narcissistic. I tried to slog it out and finish the whole thing but gave up half way.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 11-10-17

A not-bad drug trainwreck wrecked by the narrator

In the well-trodden genre of drug writeoff stories, this isn't bad. Our protagonist has a hugely dysfunctional family, hits the drugs super-hard, goes from high -flying to gutter dwelling, and has some reasonable anecdotes. Unfortunately, the narration is done in a voice that is this sing-song, spoilt kid voice that still seems quietly proud of the level of damage and manipulation she is speaking of. Over time, you start to feel like another person in the lone who she is trying to charm into forgiving her for being a pretty blonde woman with huge privilege who managed to use this to survive, and even gain infamy, from an addictive streak that would have killed less rich, white people in half the time.

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Zoe
  • 10-11-17

A bit boring

It was ok I just don't think her story was interesting enough to turn into a book. My life has been more eventful and I'd never be so self obsessed to think that people would want to read about it. Really just an extremely spoilt and privileged girl having a whinge. This is also evident in her reading style- constantly had to turn the volume down and up due to her screaming. Apart from that she read quite well. She seems like a very inconsiderate and self obsessed person though. I know that's addiction but it just got boring. Would have given it 1/5 if it wasn't for the Donald story- the only time I laughed out loud.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Kim
  • 08-28-17

Loved it!

Scary, sad and tragic at times but a well explained insight into the world of a sometimes high functioning drug addict. Told with an upbeatt and humourous tone that was frank and open. I felt like I knew Cat Marnell at the end and really enjoyed reading the book.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Rachel
  • 08-09-17

Captivating!

Cat Marnell is brutally honest and totally captivating!!! The was she tells her story makes you feel all the same feelings she is.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Nick
  • 03-30-17

I'm a dude and i just loved this. Swooon

What made the experience of listening to How to Murder Your Life the most enjoyable?

I'm a programmer in tech, and i discovered her from one of her viral 'accidental' articles. My life has also been shaped by such 'accidents' which made my parents cringe and want to send me away, but when i look back, i fricken wouldnt change them for the world. Fascinated by cat, i dug deeper. All my other audible purchases were tech books and biographies, but this had me from start to finish.

What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Murder Your Life?

Story after story. But I just loved how underneath it all she had her role models who she acknowledged and appreciated in a way that makes you realise how important these leaders are (but seldom exist, or are never encouraged in professional life). It moved me how one simple letter that she kept by her bed side kept her moving forward and gave her value\purpose. DO MORE OF THESE LITTLE THINGS PEOPLE.

What about Cat Marnell’s performance did you like?

I fricken loved her as a narrator. And i'm aussie, and often the yank accident can grind away at my ability to persist. But no Cat had expression in all the right places. Emphasis and confidence without arrogance.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Her credits at the end, and the things she remembered most from all her experiences with individuals that affected her. Especially her 'lucky mag' boss.

Any additional comments?

Ive been her (but a guy) and just amazed how many similar stories i have. Except none of the bosses which have nurtured me like her. What a difference they make.