Heads in Beds

A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality

By: Jacob Tomsky

Narrated by: Jacob Tomsky

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry.

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business, revealing the crazy yet compelling reality of an industry we think we know. It is an incredibly funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life and boy, is there a market for it: in 2010, the American lodging industry generated $127.7 billion in revenue. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on the valet parking garage, and the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets.

Prepare to be moved, too, by his insightful honesty about the profession; employees are often poorly paid and frequently abused. However, Heads in Beds is more than just a memoir. Jake explains the secrets of the industry, offering easy and legal ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle - from scoring late check-ins and upgrades to getting that pay-per-view charge knocked off your bill. This book will give you the knowledge you need to get the very best service from any hotel or property, from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, it will keep the bellhops from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and stomping the crap out of it.

©2012 Jacob Tomsky (P)2012 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Jacob Tomsky is a star. The kid writes like a dream. Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind - revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer. I'm telling you, he's a star." (Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

Fun and educational

What made the experience of listening to Heads in Beds the most enjoyable?

The author's serious but youthful tone.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The entire book was a pleasure to read.

Any additional comments?

Worth a credit plus some.

Not what I expected

When I found this audiobook and read the title, I thought it was an expose` of hotels--all the little particulars of making rooms ready for strangers. Only a few minutes into the narrative I realized I was completely wrong. A few more minutes and I was hooked--the protagonist begins the book as a hapless valet at a moderate New Orleans hotel. The book chronicles his rise to front desk, through a move to New York, and dreams of a larger life. It can be surprisingly sad in parts--remembering his friends in New Orleans post-Katrina, but laugh out loud funny in others (I'll NEVER forget the guest with the brown paper bag). The reader has the advantage of being the author, so he knows exactly where to delight and surprise the listener. To me, wanting something different, this book was exactly right, even though it was nothing like I thought.

Are you an UGLY American? – remember the book

Worth reading because it does give some insight and it is funny but if you have not learned to tip and if you are a jerk, you REALLY need to read this because then you truly are an “ugly American” even in the US.

For the rest of us who know how to treat people (and it has nothing to do with traveling – could be eating out) it is just somewhat insightful and funny.

Hugely Entertaining and the perfectly narrated

Where does Heads in Beds rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This audiobook is in my top 5. I love memoirs and biography and this nails it. The narration by the author is, probably, one of THE BEST audiobook performances I've had the pleasure of listening to in a long while. It's spot on done to the vernacular used by people of color or creed often helping us in the hospitality industry to the author's own use of language through his life and career. This is an insanely honest and spot on portrayal of the author's experience and life within the industry and life he has led.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Heads in Beds?

The author's narration in total. Mesmerizing. Perfect! One of the best performances. It's almost radio drama the way he masterfully narrates his own memoir here.

Which character – as performed by Jacob Tomsky – was your favorite?

All of them.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

His moments of personal reflection on his life and where his career was going or the realization that his career may be "stuck" in an industry which he wholeheartedly embraces.

Any additional comments?

This is THE KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL of the hotel and hospitality industry. I can only hope to see this guy on the travel channel or CNN breaking into an amazing career as a storyteller and someone that shares his experiences in the hotel industry around the world much like Bourdain did after Kitchen Confidential revealed, in such amazing literary style, the life led by those we most often encounter but most often take for granted in the service industries.

Great background information for travelers

Would you consider the audio edition of Heads in Beds to be better than the print version?

Yes, it paints a much better picture.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Heads in Beds?

When the author realized he was in the business for life and it was his most beneficial option for employment.

What about Jacob Tomsky’s performance did you like?

Absolutely Excellent Performance!! Jacob Tomsky got you into the story with the way he read it. Excitement and all! Great Performance!

I had a feeling this one was going to be great!!

Highly recommend this book!! Well written, funny, and interesting! It will definitely change the way I behave in hotels! I love inside perspectives such as this, it really puts a human face on an industry and makes you appreciate the people working there.

Funny

Loved this book. It was funny and educational. Now I know how to get a better room and services the next time I go to a hotel.

love it!!

I truly enjoyed this book as a fellow hospitality worker in the hotel industry. definitely a great read and will be purchasing a hard copy to keep on my shelf of good reads.

A fantastic peek inside hotels

I lost track of how many times I laughed out loud. If you liked Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential" you'll like this book. Where "Kitchen Confidential" provides a peek inside what it's like to be a professional cook this book provides a similar peek inside what it's like to work in a hotel. Both authors clearly love what they do for a living.

Great voice

This story about his career, the industry gives you an inside look at the industry but also about moving to NYC and New Orleans. The lingo and voice of the author feels like the strongest component of this author. The tips about the industry are nice anecdotes.