• Handbook for an Unpredictable Life

  • How I Survived Sister Renata and My Crazy Mother, and Still Came Out Smiling (with Great Hair)
  • By: Rosie Perez
  • Narrated by: Rosie Perez
  • Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Release date: 02-25-14
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Random House Audio
  • 4.6 (204 ratings)

Regular price: $33.60

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Publisher's Summary

Rosie Perez first caught our attention with her fierce dance in the title sequence of Do the Right Thing and has since defined herself as a funny and talented actress who broke boundaries for Latinas in the film industry. What most people would be surprised to learn is that the woman with the big, effervescent personality has a secret straight out of a Dickens novel. At the age of three, Rosie’s life was turned upside down when her mentally ill mother tore her away from the only family she knew and placed her in a Catholic children’s home in New York’s Westchester County. Thus began her crazily discombobulated childhood of being shuttled between “the Home,” where she and other kids suffered all manners of cruelty from nuns, and various relatives’ apartments in Brooklyn.

Many in her circumstances would have been defined by these harrowing experiences, but with the intense determination that became her trademark, Rosie overcame the odds and made an incredible life for herself. She brings her journey vividly to life in this memoir - from the vibrant streets of Brooklyn to her turbulent years in the Catholic home, and finally to film and TV sets and the LA and New York City hip-hop scenes of the 1980s and ‘90s.

More than a pause-resisting listen, Handbook for an Unpredictable Life is a story of survival. By turns heartbreaking and funny, it is ultimately the inspirational story of a woman who has found a hard-won place of strength and peace.

©2014 Rosie Perez (P)2014 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

“I read Rosie Perez's magnificent, very real, and heart wrenching book with equal parts joy and horror--horror that the world can and routinely does inflict its terrors on its children, and joy that Rosie made it out to become not only the superior, iconographic artist she is, but the magnificent woman this book reveals her to be. Her voice is the captivating instrument here: forthright, funny, and utterly her own.” (Hilton Als, staff writer, The New Yorker)
“Rosie Perez's Handbook for an Unpredictable Life is a shockingly brave, honest book, filled with so much grace, forgiveness and humor that you feel invigorated reading it. A deeply moving story, told with unapologetic courage and heart.” (George C. Wolfe)
“Reading this story I was shaking my head in amazement that Rosie is even walking around on the earth, still smiling, let alone creating, contributing and caring about the world. I know lots of artists who had to persevere and overcome a lot to get where they got and do what they do, but Rosie takes the prize for triumph of a spirit undimmed. Charles Dickens never dreamed up a more incredible hard-knocks story.” (Edward Norton)
“Rosie Perez has written a brave, hysterical, wise and compulsively readable chronicle of growing up and surviving the dual challenges of a crazy family and crazy life in Hollywood. Like Running With Scissors before it, Handboook for an Unpredictable Life is ultimately a story of survival and will inspire us all.” (Liz Garbus)
“With refreshing candor and sass, Perez transforms the painful details of her life into an inspiring reminder that even the most unforgiving of personal circumstances can be overcome. A spunky and heartfelt memoir.” (Kirkus)

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What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Story

Had me hooked from page 1...

What made the experience of listening to Handbook for an Unpredictable Life the most enjoyable?

I loved the fact that Rosie narrated the book. Her giving expression and emotion where needed drew me in.

What did you like best about this story?

I loved Rosie's ability too grow from all of her tumultuous experiences. Her never giving up is inspiring.

Which scene was your favorite?

When she was with Lydia and then those times when she finally started to enjoy her father. (I was always rooting for him)

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me laugh, cry become angry and feel appalled, to only feel her love through out this story.

Any additional comments?

This is absolutely one of my very favorite books now. I have always been a fan of Rosie's, now I feel a connection to her... God bless America two times!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Informative Memoir

This was a very informative memoir. I had no idea the things I learned about Rosie Perez's life. She came through some tough stuff. And the thing is, she came through, came out on top and is a successful independent woman doing her own thing now. Kudos to her. Her narration of the memoir shows what a good actress she is. She definitely brings her acting skills to the narration.
Note: Initially when I was listening to it I thought the part about her childhood in the Catholic school went a bit long but later I thought who am I to say that? First, this is her story, she is telling it her way and second, she went through that hell, who am I to minimize it and say this should be shortened?

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Love!!!

Love this!! I was sad when I finished this book! It's so nice to hear how normal celebrities really are.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Loved!!!!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

This was one of the best books I read and listened to this year. Rosie Perez is one of my favorite celebrities, but it was nice to hear about her life growing up. She is such a strong woman, love her!!!

What did you like best about this story?

It showed her strength from beginning to end.

Which scene was your favorite?

When she spent time with her Father's family in Puerto Rico.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes. I read the book in one day.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Thank you Rosie

Would you consider the audio edition of Handbook for an Unpredictable Life to be better than the print version?

Absolutely. Just hearing Rosie imitate all of the different voices makes the book more entertaining while still gut wrenching.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Handbook for an Unpredictable Life?

I cheered when she slapped the piss out of Sister Renata.

Which character – as performed by Rosie Perez – was your favorite?

Tia. Ga ga ga ga

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Yes I laughed and cried in buckets.

Any additional comments?

Thank you Rosie. I learned that being able to function "normally" in society as an adult doesn't mean that the abuse doesn't matter. It matters and must be addressed. Just because people can't see your scars don't mean you ain't got em. Here's to continued healing for us all.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Really really Rosie

This was wonderful......hearing Rosie tell it n her own vice was a gift. At times it Felt like she had simply come into my kitchen in the Bronx, sat with me while I brewed some Bustello and sat for hours talking about her life. Thank you Ms. Perez for your generous spirit and courage to share your story with us. You overwhelm me .
Thank you Rosie. I love you




2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Rosie thank you for sharing or story

I feel I would love to be your friend and hug you. Thank you for sharing your story I'm sorry for the mean people in your life and the lives of to many children who suffer such unthinkable cruelty.
But I'm so proud of how you have such clarity on you feeling both good and bad situation in your life.
I fell in love with Tia and your father thank you for shAring them with me, during this story telling. God bless you Rosie. Ana Lopez

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Amazing story, excellent story telling

Rosie did an incredible job narrating this book. She painted a very detailed picture of every moment. Her impressions of each character were amazing; it really made the reader/listener feel like they were transported to that very moment. Her story is very compelling and heart wrenching at times. I commend her ability to be able to tell her story and in such a professional manner. I feel privileged to have heard it.

Thank You

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • katherine
  • friendswood, TX, United States
  • 04-14-15

Brave woman.....so much talent!

Loved it from the first minute. Rosie Perez is a brave surviver who has the ability so make you smile with her positive attitude even when you want to cry for her.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Inspiring. Entertaining. Made me a Rosie fan.

Would you listen to Handbook for an Unpredictable Life again? Why?

Rosie Perez tells it all in her book. I love her honesty and story telling capabilities. She is a hard working and talented woman. By the end of the book, I became a huge fan of hers and wanted to listen again.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful