Chocolate, Please

My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

By: Lisa Lampanelli

Narrated by: Lisa Lampanelli

Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins

Publisher's summary

As one of America's hottest female comedians, Lisa Lampanelli has earned critical acclaim across the country for her no-holds-barred style and ability to make people laugh at their own stereotypes and differences.

Now, from the gutter-mouth comedienne who "talks like a truck driver but resembles a '50s housewife" (New York Times) comes her over-the-top, laugh-out-loud memoir, Chocolate, Please.

Often described as "a cross between Don Rickles, Archie Bunker, and a vial of estrogen", Lampanelli has an opinion on every subject under the sun, and she happily dishes on nearly everything - from why all white women should date black men, to the virtues of codependency, to how to turn a stick of butter into parental love and attention - and offers her dangerously hilarious "Rules to Live By", delightedly skewering all topics with equal fervor, herself included.

©2009 Lisa Lampanelli (P)2009 Simon & Schuster

Critic reviews

"Lisa is the most outrageous comic we have ever had on the Tonight Show." (Jay Leno )
"Every generation has a female comic that destroys the conventional wisdom that only men can be raunchy and funny. Lisa Lampanelli is this generation's choice." (Carlos Mencia )

The making of the Lovable Queen of Mean

Would you consider the audio edition of Chocolate, Please to be better than the print version?

One hundred perscent yes! Just having Lisa reading it makes it a must buy

What was one of the most memorable moments of Chocolate, Please?

The insight given on the Comedy Roasts

What about Lisa Lampanelli’s performance did you like?

Her humor

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Realizing that it is not all glamorous, as she looks on her TV specials. She is just as much a human being as any one of us.

Just Like a Sitdown with LL!

This is just like watching Lisa's show and then going backstage with her and talking about her life and loves. She gets a bit serious and then she sets you up and punches you in the funny bone!! This book made me laugh out loud more than any I have listened to this year. If you have a stick in your proverbial or can't take a joke, pass this one on. If you love Lisa and can laugh at yourself and everyone you know, this audiobook is a must-have. Hearing her majesty, The Loveable Queen Of Mean, read this book is worth the price of the book alone!!

Great book!

I laughed out loud too many times to count! I highly recommend this book to anyone not easily offended! I loved it!

Excellent read!

Excellent to read. Fun and enjoyable with light hearted notes and easy listening cures for all.

Excellent Storyteller!! Lisa is the Best!!!!

Hilarious and wonderful. Lisa is brilliantly enlightening and vulnerably heartwarming. She is just the best!!!

pretty much awesome

It's hilarious and worth every dime and minute spent.

[Though not funny, insightful into her life.]

Well, I believe that this book wasn't wrote to make the audience laugh.. but more to make the audience have a deeper insight into Lisa Lamp's life. She talks a lot about how crazy she is which I didn't find too funny. Her wit is intertwined with her story, but something that would make one smile instead of *LAUGH OUT LOUD.* Though I believe that this isn't a GREAT book, I believe it is a GOOD book. So, basically, buy it if you just REALLY love Lamp and want to know a little about her... But DONT buy it if you just want to "bust out laughing." If you want to "bust out laughing," I suggest Dear Vodka, It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler... It's pretty funny.

Closer my Lisa to thee

Lisa delivers a funny, saucy, raunchy, bitchy performance; wonderful! My only qualm was the final chapter of jokes, which were fine but went on too long; I like a story, not a bunch of nibbles. I would listen to another good story from Lisa in a snap.

Tripe

This is a crass juvenile rant masquerading as adult humor. Lisa needs to take a leave of absence from her profession, study some of the great masters of humor and grow up. Absolutely do not waste your time or money on this book. A one star rating is too good for this rubbish.

lousy

not funny...offensive. Don't waste you time or money