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Assholes Finish First Audiobook

Assholes Finish First

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Publisher's Summary

What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

©2010 Tucker Max (P)2010 Simon and Schuster Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (682 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Nate Dumonseau 10-02-10 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Tucker learned to read."

    Upon re-reading "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," I have decided this is as funny, if not more so. That combined with the fact Tucker as infinitely improved his narrating skills makes this book a must read.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael Chester, MD, United States 01-05-12
    Michael Chester, MD, United States 01-05-12 Member Since 2015

    World Explorer

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Tucker is an a-hole from start to finish"
    Would you try another book from Tucker Max and/or Tucker Max?

    Maybe if there was more to the book than just having sex with multiple women and drinking stories.


    Would you recommend Assholes Finish First to your friends? Why or why not?

    If they were looking for a break from audiobooks that had some redeeming qualities and just want an escape to the ultimate hedonistic lifestyle. If you need some clever derogatory comments, this is your book.


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Yes - Tucker does a good job of telling his story.


    Was Assholes Finish First worth the listening time?

    Yes, but if it were any longer, I would not have finished it. There are definitely some funny parts.


    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Teri Hollister, CA, United States 04-29-11
    Teri Hollister, CA, United States 04-29-11
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    "Awesome book"

    This is a book that is spoken from the first person by an articulate individual that does what he wants and is driven by 2 things beer and women. Some of the stories are crude but hilarious. If you are a type of person that can not laugh at things that are not PC then don't read this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tyrell 10-14-10
    Tyrell 10-14-10
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    "Duped"

    I love the first book, but this one is not funny at all. The first book is awesome. However, like the title says for this book, he comes across as a complete a-hole.
    I think these stories are the ones that were on the cutting floor for his first book.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kindle Customer Atlanta, GA 06-23-17
    Kindle Customer Atlanta, GA 06-23-17 Member Since 2013

    P1nkgurl

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "SMH...HUGE balls Tucker!!!!!"

    Oh. My. God! This book is so funny. I actually bought the paperback at the Goodwill for like 75 cents or something. I read the first chapter and waited two days to get the free audible. I laughed my butt off. This guy is such a douche. But, to be honest how many times have you actually just said and did what you felt and didn't worry about the consequences? I can honestly say that, yes, he was an asshole, but, I'm married to an asshole that's just as bad so I can honestly say that I enjoyed Tucker's asshole tendencies. I absolutly loved his sex stories, it takes HUGE balls to admit to some of what Tucker has admitted to. But, hey, like he said, there wouldn't be a book without them. He says what he thinks, does what he wants, consequencies be damned. I loved it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    eclass New york 06-17-17
    eclass New york 06-17-17 Member Since 2011
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    "This book sucks"

    Honestly this book sucks on all levels. If you like this book you simply aren't intelligent. Tucker is a moron and it's sad there are women who actually slept with him. Don't waste your time on this crap. Honestly worst book I ever heard

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lara Cady Weberling Bakersfield, CA 06-14-17
    Lara Cady Weberling Bakersfield, CA 06-14-17 Member Since 2015

    Lara Cady Weberling

    ratings
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    "I got a refund."

    I found this book offensive and annoying. Thank you, Audible, for issuing me a refund.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    RLK 04-05-17
    RLK 04-05-17 Member Since 2015
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    "Not impressed"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Even douchbags will find this book un-impressive. Not sure who would enjoy it.


    Has Assholes Finish First turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No. It has turned me off from books from Tucker Max.


    What didn’t you like about Tucker Max’s performance?

    Stories are not that funny and narration is horrible... written a 3rd grade level.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    No. None whatsoever.


    Any additional comments?

    Don't waste your money or credits on this book. You want cheap entertainment, watch the movie: Hope They Serve Beer In Hell also from Tucker Max. This will give you the 1.5 hr synopsis of what this book and his "trilogy" has to offer... and it was slightly more entertaining than anything coming out of this book. Honestly, I've had more interesting, funnier and sexier stories while at a fraternity in Florida than the compilation in this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patty jersey city, nj 03-15-17
    Patty jersey city, nj 03-15-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Turkerrred to the max"

    I laughed more with this one than I did with the first one. The stories though did get a bit repetitive. But I'm loving this guy.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dave 12-01-16
    Dave 12-01-16
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    4
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    "great stories"

    hard to understand this guy at times, but we'll worth the effort to listen to. just great.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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