A Widow's Story

A Memoir

By: Joyce Carol Oates

Narrated by: Ellen Parker

Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins

Publisher's summary

In a work unlike anything she's written before, National Book Award-winner Joyce Carol Oates unveils a poignant, intimate memoir about the unexpected death of her husband of 46 years and its wrenching, surprising aftermath.

"My husband died, my life collapsed." On a February morning in 2008, Joyce Carol Oates drove her ailing husband, Raymond Smith, to the emergency room of the Princeton Medical Center, where he was diagnosed with pneumonia. Both Joyce and Ray expected him to be released in a day or two. But in less than a week, even as Joyce was preparing for his discharge, Ray died from a virulent hospital-acquired infection, and Joyce was suddenly faced - totally unprepared - with the stunning reality of widowhood.

A Widow's Story illuminates one woman's struggle to comprehend a life without the partnership that had sustained and defined her for nearly half a century. As never before, Joyce Carol Oates shares the derangement of denial, the anguish of loss, the disorientation of the survivor amid a nightmare of "death-duties", and the solace of friendship. She writes unflinchingly of the experience of grief - the almost unbearable suspense of the hospital vigil, the treacherous "pools" of memory that surround us, the vocabulary of illness, the absurdities of commercialized forms of mourning. Here is a frank acknowledgment of the widow's desperation, only gradually yielding to the recognition that "this is my life now."

Enlivened by the piercing vision, acute perception, and mordant humor that are the hallmarks of the work of Joyce Carol Oates, this moving tale of life and death, love and grief, offers a candid, never-before-glimpsed view of the acclaimed author and fiercely private woman.

©2011 The Ontario Review, Inc. (P)2011 HarperCollins Publishers

Well written

Oates is a fine writer and her talent is on full display here. The wordcraft is impeccable but the extraordinarily close attention to vocabulary and style flattens any emotional impact. Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking helped me a great deal more after my husband died, because it revealed so much more about the almost indescribable pain of loss, and of widowhood. Oates is precise and comprehensive and I’m sure she loved her husband very much, but it’s almost as if she is observing her loss from a great distance, causing readers to feel disengaged. She name-drops frequently, and I too was disturbed by how she described the hospital worker who cared for her husband. It seemed gratuitously cruel and classist. I don't wish to denigrate any widow's memoir, it's an excruciating experience...but if you read just one book on this topic, I'd order the Didion. Magical Thinking was searing and from the heart. This book is sterile and analytic, though technically and grammatically fine. It's oddly difficult to believe in Oates's grief. She seems to be writing instead about disruption–a very different thing. A final takeaway has to be the truly extraordinary support network Oates enjoyed, which she documents in detail.

Very moving book, VERY well read, hopeful end

Sometimes I get into weird moods and can't move on to a new book. That happened to me recently, and I had an instinct that the raw emotions of Joyce Carol Oates' memoir of her experience of losing her husband would stun me out of my own self absorption. I was right. The book is very painful to hear but the reader is excellent and portrays well the voice of Joyce Carol Oates as I imagine her to be. The book is very good at communicating the abrupt end of a comfortable and happy life without any sticky sentimentalism or self pity. It is very moving and yet has not caused even weepy me any tears. I am very glad I chose to read it.

Heartrending at first, but drags after awhile

I hate to write anything negative about this book, because the subject matter is so personal and so convincingly describes a truly terrible event. I was deeply affected by the author's experiences immediately after the death of her husband, and for the first month or so thereafter, but the book begins to amble after that. With nearly half the book remaining, I had to force myself to finish it. The timeline began to be indistinct and the latter struggles just seemed to blend together. In short, the book could have been perhaps 3/4 the current length. Perhaps a good choice for an abridged reading. The narration, however, was very well done.

Thought Provoking

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this to someone who has lost a significant other. The author has gotten shared her most honest inner feelings of suddenly finding herself in widowhood.

What was one of the most memorable moments of A Widow's Story?

There are several. How she dealt with her initial sudden loss and also her trying to adjust her life with others.

What about Ellen Parker’s performance did you like?

The reader's performance was wonderful! I looked for more books done by her but there doesn't seem to be any at the moment. I really enjoyed her!

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Absolutely not! I listened to this in the evening. It was a special treat to myself and I wanted to savour every chapter! Not a page turner mystery but a commiserating of events in my life with Ms. Oates.

Any additional comments?

Great read for me and highly recommend to those who are dealing with loss of a husband.

Breathless!

Talk about not wanting to turn the car audio player off...this is a minute-by-minute account, not only of a bereavement and of a death, but of a life as lived in each present moment. I'll never know why it is that some writers, and well-known, respected ones at that, can snooze me off with their painstaking detail (oh just get on with it will you?), and someone like Oates can mesmerize me, stun me with literary pleasure with her delicately nuanced accounts of the huge range of emotions encountered by one person, as they happen, moment by moment.

I am equally amazed at this "warts and all" presentation of Oates' self-doubts and insecurities, her lack of self-belief, and the meaninglessness to her of all her considerable accomplishments compared to the loss of her husband and soul-mate. That she can get this all down without appearing even mildly self-absorbed is another feat that impresses me.

Brava!

Beautiful ~

It is a beautiful book. - dark, honest and powerfully raw. The narrator's performance is extraordinary.

Great Book for Fans

I love her books & really enjoyed getting inside her head. I learned a lots things I didn't know about her.

Author expresses real emotion dealing with the loss of her husband.

At first I wasn't sure I was going to like this book, but I was captured by the real feelings and sometimes awkward moments expressed within by someone experiencing such a life altering loss. Learning how to live by oneself and take e care of all the day to day niceties in a single world is all too often crushing for someone married .most of their adult life but the author gets through it!
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An important work

I am recently windowed and found great solace in hearing the experience of another that so much echoes my own. This book has helped me at an excruciating time. It reinforces my believe that despite great pain, we can finding meaning and a different type joy for life. The narrator does a beautiful rendering of the written work. I highly recommend this for anyone who wants to feel less alone in the experience of loss.

Courageous, Entirely Present to the Pain of Loss

Where does A Widow's Story rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This book is among the best because of JC Oates magnificent prose and the sensitivity of Ellen Parker's narration. Unlike narrators who take performance to a camp level, Parker gives voice to Oates's story with a quiet tenderness that takes me into the grief of this great artist.

What was one of the most memorable moments of A Widow's Story?

Throughout this story I am constantly struck by Oates's openness about the transformation Ray Smith's death forced upon her. She is, from beginning to end, entirely vulnerable, perhaps most poignantly when allowing her readers a glimpse of the manic attempt to escape from death's possibility in compulsive cleaning. Before reading A Widow's Story, I thought of Joyce Carol Oates as one of America's great writers; now, as well as admiring her prose and her vast reservoir of energy, knowledge, and wisdom, I claim her as a newly discovered sister, especially when I contemplate the possibility of my own widowhood.

Which character – as performed by Ellen Parker – was your favorite?

Ellen Parker's rendering of this highly personal memoir is always in keeping with Oates's emotionally searing journey into mourning. She is the consummate narrator, keeping herself in the background and Oates's memoir up front.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

The Beating Heart of Lost Love

Any additional comments?

Oates and Parker have formed a truly beautiful partnership in A Widow's Story.