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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the dark. Bill Ryder...isn't one of them. Gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors. Despite awesome supernatural powers, loyal allies, and an attitude the size of Brooklyn, the odds are still stacked heavily against him. Bill Ryder must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors that threaten it - all while trying to work up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams.

©2013 Rick Gualtieri (P)2015 Rick Gualtieri

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,210
  • 4 Stars
    491
  • 3 Stars
    122
  • 2 Stars
    38
  • 1 Stars
    41

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,091
  • 4 Stars
    418
  • 3 Stars
    180
  • 2 Stars
    52
  • 1 Stars
    37

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,143
  • 4 Stars
    418
  • 3 Stars
    138
  • 2 Stars
    35
  • 1 Stars
    40
Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

How the books are divided inside:

Any additional comments?

If, like me you listened to the first and/or second book before seeing or wanting this omnibus edition here is how the books are divided, so you can skip to the new material:

Book 1 - Starts on Chapter 01
Book 2 - Starts on Chapter 28
Book 3 - Starts on Chapter 54
Book 4 - Starts on Chapter 95

Should save some skipping around and accidentally getting any spoilers. Very funny books, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

60 of 62 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • TU
  • 04-10-17

I very much enjoyed this book

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

In short, yes. I already recommended this audiobook to a couple of friends who have similar taste in books.

What did you like best about this story?

I loved the irreverent nature of the book and enjoyed the combination of the main character's internal monologue and story.

Which character – as performed by Christopher John Fetherolf – was your favorite?

Obviously, Bill would be a favorite. After all, he's the Free Will, and the main character. I really enjoyed several characters, though, as the narrator did a great job of bringing the characters to life.

Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

I loved the friends that Bill surrounds himself with. The love/hate relationship with Sally, the stoic, borderline sociopath Eric, the annoying moron, Tom... loved them all.

Any additional comments?

I really enjoyed this series and will definitely pick the rest of them up, even though they aren't in a boxed set.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Problems with the narrator

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

I would recommend this to friends, while advising them of pronunciation issues.

What didn’t you like about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance?

The narrator's performance is great in terms of cadence, inflection, and keeping the story moving, but he's sorely lacking in areas of pronunciation. For example, 'voila' is pronounced 'voi-la', not 'vio-la' (like the musical instrument), 'Tatooine' (Luke Skywalker's home planet) is pronounced, 'Tattoo-een', not 'Tattoo-knee.' 'Caste' (the word referring to the methods of formal social stratification in some countries and groups) rhymes with 'cast' and not 'cased.'

If you're going to narrate professionally, get a copy of the NBC Handbook, Fowler's Modern English Usage, or The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations first.

Any additional comments?

Overall, it's a very good story, but the narrator's mispronunciation turns it from a nice five star experience to a high three or low four star experience.

27 of 37 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

A vampire comedy with too much immaturity to stomach.

I made it to the second book before I got too annoyed with the characters to listen any further. I wanted to like these books, vampire comedy's sounds like a great premise, but characters are so unlikeable. Casual murder of innocence is supposed to amusing. Characters consist of every stereotype you ever heard about geeks, men, jocks, strippers, and blondes. The comedy consists mainly of characters insulting one another and every character does this. Makes all the characters extreme unlikeable. As the plot is simple the characters make or break these books.

Reader was fine he mainly sticks to his actual voice and nothing is really jarring. Still the lack of diversity in character voices makes me give a 4 star rating on performance.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book, not so great editing.

Personally I love this story. Character growth is lacking a bit but all in all it is a really fun story that I will surely listen to more than once.

I thought the narrator was an excellent choice for the voice of Bill. My only problem was the many mispronounced words, including but not limited to, Vi-o-la, and Lord Voldemont? Also, the editing could have been better. Particularly in the fourth book.

For me these issues were minor and did not take anything away from the story. I will definitely be purchasing the rest of the series.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Can't do it!

I downloaded this book because it was 30 some hours for one credit and I like to get my money's worth... And now I want my money back.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and here's mine.
The story was boring, the characters were cardboard, the narrator made me want to scratch my ears off.
I can handle sarcasm but not unfunny useless sarcasm constantly thrown around. And how many times can a guy call a woman "bitch" and think it's funny?
I listened about three hours then realized I had just scratched the surface and had no interest in seeing what came next (probably not too much). Will be returning this book in the morning.

11 of 15 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Love, love these books!!

What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

They are laugh out loud funny! From the first few sentences I was hooked! I had to buy the whole series. I love the narrator he sounds just like what I imagine Bill would be like.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Of course it's Bill. I enjoy his smart aleck quips and come backs.

What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

He brings the book and Bill to life! He is great! How he reads this book was one reason I bought the whole series.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Not only the book but the whole series! I have a long stressful commute to work and back and listening to this series helps a lot to get away from it all. I probably look like a crazy person sitting in my car alone in traffic laughing.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Diana
  • Antelope Valley, CA, United States
  • 01-29-16

Snarky fun, but needs editing to fix distractions

The book is a reflection of today's tech-y, snarky society. It's fun and light. Although for a funny book, I had a lot more laugh-out-loud moments in the last book I listened to, an autobiography by Martin Short, read by the author. Bill the Vampire books aren't so much a laugh-out-loud funny-comedy but are more a light-hearted way to spend time distracted from reality.

But, more care in producing the audio recording would have made for a book that doesn't bring you back to reality when a word is so mispronounced that you forget the story.

Example: I heard "Vy-ol-lah" and had to break from the story to wonder how someone became a narrator without ever knowing "Voila!" Or, in the story a character "barred" her teeth. What? More likely she "bared" her teeth. And, maybe she had a "penchant" for something and not a "per-chant" . . . whatever that is. Distracting mistakes.

The narrator can read quickly and with good inflection and with a humorous snarky tone - although is shallow on the variety of character voices.

But, the audio recording needs better editing.

15 of 23 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Immature garbage

The title should have given it away, but I got suckered in by good reviews. Wasted credit. And OH GOD I rather listen to Steven King then this VA!

6 of 9 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Really poor narration!!

I own literally hundreds of audio books, and have heard a lot of narrators, but this is the first time I've been embarrassed for the narrator. If you don't know the difference between 'angles' and 'angels', or between 'caste' and 'cased', then narration may not be the right job for you. If you can't pronounce the word denizens, then you shouldn't be hired to read sci-fi or fantasy. Not to mention, the overdramatic way he reads in general makes the whole story, especially the dialogues, sound really awkward.

The writing is fairly amateur / juvenile, but could have been helped out by a more mature or professional reading. Even once they decided to use this narrator, they could have at least done a better job in production. If anyone had bothered to edit the audio, they could have removed a lot of repeats and reading errors, as well as some of the pronunciation errors.

I don't normally write reviews, but then, this is the first time I've rated a book so badly, even though I didn't completely hate it. The story itself kept my attention, despite the problems. I wish the production had been better.

9 of 14 people found this review helpful

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Peter Sweeney
  • 05-23-16

Bill rules!

Not only is this four books for the price of one, but it's more importantly four superb books!

The characters are really likeable, the humour is great and the story lines are surprising and well thought out! Can't recommend it enough and can't wait to get the next book either!

If I could find any negatives, the recap bits explaining what has happened in previous books is a tad annoying at times (maybe because I listened to them one after another) but also because why would you read/listen to book two, three or four without reading the previous!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Helen Ingall
  • 04-17-16

bill series

Loved it a great listen to and easy to follow with twists and turns all the way. cannot wait hear the next episode.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Peter
  • 09-28-16

fantastic and fun.

I enjoyed every minute of every book. Some great nerd culture references and well sustained humour as well as some kick ass fight scenes. These characters have become, as all the great ones do, good friends of mine. looking forwards to the next on the list.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Kristian Koivisto-Kokko
  • 01-15-18

Might have a story, but doesn’t have class

I only got 4-5 hours in before feeling I’ve had enough of the writing. The story feels like it could go somewhere, but I can’t keep listening to this childish geek bro writing, thinking with your genitals and calling women whores and bitches constantly.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Steve Leyden
  • 01-11-18

The tome of Bill

Great concept and storyline, very funny in places, and well developed characters. I loved this book and am about to start listening to the second in the series, my only complaint is that the narration is much too fast, it's like the publishers have said to the narrator that they are paying by the hour so don't waste time breathing.
I highly recommend this book, I just wish the narrator would slow down a bit.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • simon
  • 12-20-17

Excellent read

Where does Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

New author to me but I have found him very entertaining. A light heart dark story which flows very well

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • andy c
  • 08-31-17

brilliant witty and funny

great book funny witty and brilliant. well worth it such an enjoyable book with likeable characters.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jeff
  • 07-24-17

totally awesome

What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

the writing of the book is just well class it is funny, nerdy, childish and entertaining all at the same time

Who was your favorite character and why?

sally is a awesome bitch

What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

just down right narrated like omg

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

nerd meets the darkness

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Shoghun
  • 07-05-17

Hilarious and Annoying at the same time!

This is a great value collection that's a must for fans of fantasy and comedy. The story of a geek being turned into a vampire is original and very funny albeit frustrating at times. I often found myself angry at Bill's stupidity but I guess that just shows the author's skill at drawing you in and believing the character created.

As an Englishman, I find listening to an American narrator a little difficult and can believe that the same is true for listeners across the pond listening to a British accented narrator. I'm not saying that it wasn't performed well, it was but I found the American accent difficult to listen to and a little unemotional at times.

Overall it was very enjoyable and I found myself laughing out loud a number of times. An entertaining buy and one I would recommend.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • BJXRN
  • 06-18-17

Story OK but humor unsophisticated and crude

Is there anything you would change about this book?

Less crude underpanties-humor. For that reason stopped listening early.

Would you be willing to try another book from Rick Gualtieri? Why or why not?

No. Authors tend to be consistent in their language and humor.

Could you see Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou being made into a movie or a TV series? Who would the stars be?

The percentage of people who can identify with the hero is small. Single gamers mainly.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • John
  • 06-04-18

Tome of Bill

I love this book from Start to finish the characters a well written the author did a great job of the story as well as the narrator.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Yacob
  • 06-06-16

Nerdy Vampire

Amazingly funny often sill book, great story with very versatile characters. Many twists and turns.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Lummy
  • 05-22-16

A great story and a fine performance

This is an awesome collection. I can't wait to get started on the next book.