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Becoming the Kind Father

A Son's Journey
Narrated by: Michael Puttonen
Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (14 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The macho society that held John Wayne as a role model has created an emotional wasteland where 80 percent of men are unable to accurately express their feelings, and that same percentage feel estranged from their fathers. The stifled male, disconnected and out of touch, fills the void with apathy or anger, and the toll is staggering: short, unhealthy lives, ruined relationships, and damaged children. This destructive behavior repeats itself in the next generation as the sins of the father continue the cycle.

In Becoming the Kind Father, Calvin Sandborn aims to break that cycle. His intensely personal story is heart-searing and inspirational. Brought up to fear his father's alcohol-fueled fury and hateful put-downs, the author buried his feelings and fine-tuned his own rage. His father's early death and the collapse of the author's marriage provided catalysts for change.

Interspersing clever literary references with painful childhood memories, intense self-examination, and astute observations, Sandborn provides well-researched psychological findings and self-help tips, including how to:

  • Identify and share feelings
  • Treat yourself as a kind father would
  • Form trusting male friendships.
  • Break the anger habit.
  • Forgive the world and yourself.

This guide offers helpful insight for the millions of men who want to become kinder human beings. A must-read for every woman who loves an angry or emotionally distant man.

©2007 Calvin Sandborn (P)2014 Post Hypnotic Press Inc.

Critic Reviews

"...an inspiring book enhanced by a performance that captures every high and low of a childhood from which lesser people might have learned the wrong lessons." ( AudioFile Magazine, March 2015)
"From the first page, I was enchanted by this book... Amid so many voices calling on men to be tough, to be manly, Calvin Sandborn calls on them to be kind, to be human. I pray that it is his voice that will prevail." (Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People)
"Professor Sandborn's well-referenced book is crammed with valuable self-help tips that when practiced will help debunk society’s macho myth and give birth to the real man who is loving, sensitive, gentle, and kind." (John Bradshaw, author of Homecoming)

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Fabulous book about treating ourselves kindly

Carl Sandborn has struck a wonderful cord on the father son relationships, and how growing up in the boy culture leaves us emotional behind. Boys do not understand their feelings, and have no way of knowing how to identify them. Sandborn has done a great job of explaining this culture, and providing us with examples of how to break the cycle and be good to ourselves. He teaches us to become the kind father to ourselves. Especially at times when we want to beat ourselves up, instead of playing the tape in your head that allows you to do this, he is suggesting to change that tape to: what would the kind father say to comfort me and make me feel better?

I loved this book so much that I just bought 3 copies to have and give as gifts to friends. If you have some of The Gentle Man in you - buy this book NOW. If you know someone that has some of the Gentle Man in him but doesn't want to show it - buy him this book NOW.