Bears Want to Kill You

The Authoritative Guide to Survival in the War Between Man and Bear

De: Ethan Nicolle

Narrado por: Ethan Nicolle

Did you know bears never die? There are many unknown facts about these fur-adorned mammals. Because the hard truths about bears can be difficult to process, society often shields itself from the realities of the true threat bears pose to mankind. Much as it took centuries for mankind to realize Earth was not at the center of the universe, it will take a long time for humans to realize that they are not at the top of the food chain.

In Bears Want to Kill You, author Ethan Nicolle exposes the lies about:

• Bear safety
• Bear spray
• Bear traps
• Bear necessities

...and gives you the truth about:

• Bear fighting
• Bear species
• Bear Jiu Jitsu
• Bear avoidance
• And more!

Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks, and the impending war between man and bear.

This is the first honest book about bears ever written. No lies, no propaganda. It’s the hard reality nobody wants to face. Can you bear the truth?

Ethan Nicolle is the co-creator of comic and TV series Axe Cop, webcomic Bearmageddon, writer for the Babylon Bee and writer for animated TV shows such as Teen Titans Go! and VeggieTales in the House. He resides in a giant bear locker in Rancho Cucamonga, CA.

©2019 Ethan Nicolle (P)2019 Ethan Nicolle

Reseñas de la Crítica

"Bears Want to Kill You wields a prescience that is both hilarious and terrifying, as Ethan Nicolle masterfully spells out the ursine demise that is coming to us all." (Nick Offerman, Parks & Recreation, Axe Cop)

Good

This is the best book ever the absolute best book ever this book deserves 5 stars

band of man eating bear brothers

Unfortunately I met my demise by a band of bear brothers who are apparently searching out people who leave 5 star reviews but not before they shared some of the most disturbing stories from back in Nam.

Sssh, or the bears will hear you

If you can’t read “Bears Want to Kill You” because you’re hiding in the dark so the bears won’t see you... Now you can listen while you cower. Just don’t let them hear you.

Too bad they can see you no matter where you hide....

(It’s a reading by the author, of a visually-oriented picture-heavy original. The readings of the captions and descriptions is hilarious, though.)

super entertaining

great book! super funny, I listened to it on my commute to work. finishing move: poke driver.

Training for life

Warning; you must wait at least thirty minutes after eating to read this book.

Warning: do not listen while operating dangerous equipment.

This book is your guide to life. It will give you a road map for all of the ways that life (bears) will try to stop your pursuit of happiness.