Battle of the Butts

One Friendship, Two Sets of Cheeks, and a Whole Lot of Naked Nonsense!

De: Kristin Williams

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

What happens when two suburban best friends turn their backyards into a war zone? Not with water balloons, not with karaoke machines, but with the fiercest competition known to mankind: a full-scale Battle of the Butts.

Kristin is the Volvo-driving, wine-drinking, Northwest suburban nudist whose butt has been called “dependable” and “classy” by boyfriends who didn’t survive the chaos. Tanya is her best-friend-turned-rival, a yoga-pants evangelist with a butt so smug it probably pays property taxes. Together, these two women wage war across kiddie pools, barbecues, Safeway aisles, and international beaches, armed with squats, slap-offs, and entirely too much prosecco.

Add in Susan, the self-appointed referee who keeps score with Dorito dust on her fingers, a rotating cast of terrified boyfriends drafted as judges, and nosy neighbors who treat every showdown like the Super Bowl, and you’ve got the most unhinged, laugh-out-loud suburban saga ever written.

Inside you’ll discover:

• The kiddie pool slap that rattled car alarms and made a poodle faint

• Squat interventions at 8 a.m. because “friends don’t let friends skip leg day”

• Boyfriends who run for their lives after being forced to vote in “butt court”

• An HOA president caught clapping at the clap-off

• The eternal question: who really won… and why the answer might be “nobody, and also everybody”

Perfect for anyone who’s ever had a best friend, a nemesis, or a neighbor who waters their lawn too often just to eavesdrop, Battle of the Butts is part memoir, part comedy, part suburban mythology. Equal parts raunchy and relatable, it’s a wild ride through friendship, rivalry, and the art of letting it all hang out.

Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter, spontaneous squats, and the urge to start your own backyard butt contest. Readers are advised to keep snacks and prosecco on hand.