Reverse Engineer Joy

You say certain things make you happy. But what does happiness actually feel like to you?

Show Notes

In this episode of Shark Theory, Baylor shares a powerful question from a recent therapy session that completely shifted his perspective: What does happiness feel like?

Not what makes you happy. Not what you're doing when you're happy. But what does it feel like?

At first, Baylor listed activities. Walking his dog. Playing golf. Spending time with friends. But his therapist pressed further. Feelings aren't events. They're states.

That distinction changes everything.

Too often, people tie happiness to specific moments, roles, or achievements. Athletes tie it to performance. Professionals tie it to promotions. Parents tie it to milestones. When those events disappear or slow down, so does their perceived happiness.

But when Baylor dug deeper, he realized happiness for him wasn't about the activity. It was the feeling of emptiness of thought. A quiet mind. No overthinking. No mental clutter. Just presence.

That realization unlocked something important. If happiness is a state of mind, not a specific event, then you can experience it in far more places than you thought. It also means you can reverse engineer it.

When you understand what happiness feels like, you can identify its opposite. For Baylor, stress and anxiety show up as mental overload. Too many thoughts. Too much noise. Too much energy wasted on things that don't matter.

The lesson is simple but profound: you can't move toward something if you don't know what it feels like. Once you define your emotional state clearly, you can deliberately design your life around creating more of it.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why tying happiness to events limits your joy

• The difference between actions and emotional states

• How identity and roles can distort your sense of fulfillment

• Why defining the feeling of happiness matters

• How to reverse engineer your emotional state

• How awareness reduces anxiety and mental overload

Featured Quote

"Happiness isn't what you're doing. It's the state your mind is in while you're doing it."