Sex Addicts - What does it mean to be a man?: Conversations (2)

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What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.

Impediments to having great relationships:

Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be entirely and comprehensively supplemented by a mother. It is not “do as I say”, it is “do as you see me doing”. The eyes take in the largest amount of information during the communication process.

What gets set up in childhood, plays out in adulthood, in how we interact with others; seeking to bond, yet avoid repeat hurt. It is called Insecure Attachment. Insecure Attachment in Adulthood, often presents as “Love Addiction”, where the individual is not so much chasing Love, but connection; acceptance; to be inclusive; to be wanted; to be secure.

The stuff of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate. It impacts, in a significant way, women, children, men, LGBTQI community - cutting across all of the societal stratas and ages - (aged 9 to 75).

The scale of addiction is staggering and is at pandemic levels:

• 12% of all internet websites contain pornography.

• 25% of all search engine queries—68 million per day—relate to sex.

• 35% of all downloads are pornographic.

• 70% of men aged 18–24 visit porn sites monthly.

• Average first exposure: 11 years old.

• 1 in 5 pastors struggle with pornography.

• Over 50% of practising Christians report occasional porn use.

• Neurodivergent individuals show higher compulsive-use rates.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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