Parenting a Defiant Teen: How to Set Limits When Consequences Don't Work

Are you stuck in constant battles with your teen—no matter how many consequences you hand out? You're not alone. In this episode of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam, I sit down with renowned psychologist and TEDx speaker Dr. Paul Sunseri, author of Gentle Parenting Reimagined. With over 40 years of experience, Dr. Sunseri offers parents a powerful shift: how to stay calm, set firm boundaries, and transform behavior—without yelling or giving in. If you’ve got a strong-willed or defiant teen, this episode will be a game-changer. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE What to do when consequences no longer work with your teen How to set effective boundaries without yelling or power struggles The difference between gentle parenting and permissiveness How to tie privileges (like screen time) to responsibility 5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Shift from “Fixing the Kid” to Changing the Dynamic: Teen defiance is often about the relationship, not just behavior. Focus on how you respond. Speak Calmly and Clearly: Avoid emotional reactions. Use matter-of-fact requests to maintain authority without fueling conflict. Use Privileges Strategically: Tie screen time and other privileges to daily responsibilities—then follow through consistently. Expect Resistance, But Stay the Course: Change won’t happen overnight. Stay patient and consistent even when it’s tough. Believe in Their Ability to Grow: Set high (yet compassionate) expectations. Let them fail and learn—it’s how resilience is built. 🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW? Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! 🙏💫 🔔 SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌 RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Gentle Parenting When to Lean Out Instead of Leaning In – Psychology Today Consequences Don’t Work With My Kid – Psychology Today Gentle Parenting Deserves Another Chance – Today’s Parent CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Dr. Paul Sunseri Website: myIFFT.org Instagram: @dr_paul_challengingkids YouTube: Dr. Paul Sunseri CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell Website: AskDrCam.com Instagram: @DrCamCaswell TikTok: @the.teen.translator YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Facebook: @DrCamCaswell EPISODE CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Defiance in Teens 05:13 The Bi-Directional Influence of Behavior 10:05 Common Mistakes Parents Make 18:10 Navigating Emotional Regulation 28:03 Strategies for Managing Household Responsibilities 30:36 The Autonomy Dilemma in Parenting 32:26 Effective Communication Strategies with Teens 34:20 Flexibility and Boundaries in Parenting 36:12 Motivation and Homework Challenges 39:00 Understanding Teen Resistance to Homework 42:31 Balancing Privileges and Responsibilities 45:41 Negotiating Homework and Screen Time 48:56 Navigating Homework Expectations 51:17 Establishing Behavioral Habits 54:36 Setting Realistic Parenting Goals 57:38 The Importance of Limits and Expectations 01:01:29 Building Resilience Through Challenges 01:05:33 Parenting Across Generations ABOUT THE SHOW The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together. #theteentranslator #parentingdefiantteens