• This Quest Is Broken!

  • This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
  • By: J. P. Valentine
  • Narrated by: Andrew Tell
  • Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (944 ratings)

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This Quest Is Broken!  By  cover art

This Quest Is Broken!

By: J. P. Valentine
Narrated by: Andrew Tell
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Publisher's summary

The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection.

Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.

Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?

Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level-one messenger girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that goddamned bread.

There just might be a few side quests along the way.

This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.

©2021 Nixia Publishing LLC (P)2021 Nixia Publishing LLC

What listeners say about This Quest Is Broken!

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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  • 3 Stars
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

never knew a fetch quest to be so hard.

loved it, eve is the punky little sister we want to root for, and cant tell you how i enjoy being continuously surprised by this book.

voice acting was strong and they did a very good job humanizing the characters.

good plot and great jokes.

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

good book

its a good book and good start to a series but people are right like why is everything in the book super gay lol like everything

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Fun and Moves Along Nicely

A quest for a loaf of bread. A legendary quest for a loaf of bread. What's so difficult about buying a loaf of bread? Everything, when everywhere you go, something conspires against you!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious adventure with a great story

This book was hilarious, fun, and awesome! It was a great adventure with lots of jokes and puns, and I loved the characters. Going right now to get the second book.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Really good!

Thought I’d take a chance on a new author and a new narrator in the recent sale. Premise sounded fun.

It was most excellent fun. Charming and enough innovation to keep you hooked. I’ll be finishing this series. Has stats but isn’t heavy-handed about it.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Good audiobook

I loved it! Thought it was a little weird a man was narrating when the main character is female but I really enjoyed his preform.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Thoroughly Enjoyed

I like this type of world where there’s a game system in place already. So you don’t have people coming in from another world, trying to figure out the system. Instead you’re learning about characters who’ve grown up with the system and are trying to work it to their advantage

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Quirky and fun (no spoilers)

Occasionally, I like a book where I can just take my brain out and laugh, this is one of those books. The writer is great at the "cheeky", "pun" and "groaner" humor along with some good old fashion banter. I found the world created to be quirky and fun. If you like a D&D world with characters that know they live in a D&D world this is for you.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Cinnamon Bun meets The Prince has No Pants

I jumped to this book after listening to The Prince has No Pants and it was right up my alley! If you enjoyed listening to the absurd and funny Prince then you'll probably also enjoy this book. The narrator did a fantastic job with this book, making it fun, engaging, and emotional throughout the whole journey.

I saw a few negative reviews about the humor and unusual swearing. And I feel it's like any comedy you'd either hate it or love it. The story mostly takes itself seriously, so don't take those reviews close to heart, you might enjoy this book so give it a try!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Love it and hate it

I really really enjoyed the story, the performance, the character bu8lding but...
If you are a Christian, this book made me cringe so many times with the God's da* . I'd rather read swearing than that [which there is plenty of]. But the God's Da**it. So so often ruined the book for me and I won't be buying the second one even though I liked the story.

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