Awake

A Memoir

By: Jen Hatmaker

Narrated by: Jen Hatmaker

Read by the author with appearances from family and friends. The program also features bonus commentary and clips from her wildly popular podcast, For The Love.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “I can’t imagine any woman reading this without feeling seen, inspired, and totally empowered.” —Mel Robbins • “A MASTERPIECE, you guys. This memoir by the great Jen Hatmaker *cannot* be missed. I was riveted as if to a thriller and touched/moved/inspired in ways I can’t quite articulate yet. Just please read. You’ll thank me.” —Elin Hilderbrand, on Instagram

From Jen Hatmaker—beloved New York Times bestselling author and host of the For the Love podcast—a brutally honest, funny, and revealing memoir about the traumatic end of her twenty-six-year-long marriage, and the beginning of a different kind of love story.

At 2:30 a.m. on July 11, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to her husband of twenty-six years whispering in his phone to another woman from their bed. It was the end of life as she knew it. In the months that followed, she went from being a shiny, funny, popular leader to a divorced wreck on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, parenting five kids alone with no clue about the functioning of her own bank accounts. Having led millions of women for over a decade—urging them to embrace authenticity, find radical agency, and create healthy relationship—she felt like a catastrophic failure.

In Awake, Jen shares for the first time what happened when she found herself completely lost at sea—and how she made it to shore. In candid, sur­prisingly funny vignettes spanning forty years of girlhood, marriage, and parenting, Jen lays bare the disorienting upheaval of midlife—the implosion of a marriage, the unraveling of religious and cultural systems, and the grief that accompanies change you didn’t ask for. And, drawing on all resources—from without and within—Jen dares to question the systems beneath the whole house of cards, and to reckon with the myths, half-truths, and lies that brought her to this point.

More than one woman’s story, Awake is a critical analysis of the story given to all of us: the story of gender limitations, religious subservience, body shame, self-erasure. With refreshing candor, Jen explores a midlife renaissance—grieving what’s lost, cherishing possibility, and entering the second half of life wide awake.

Critic reviews

"If social media numbers and my math are correct, Jen Hatmaker has 1,518,500 combined followers on Facebook, Instagram, and X—and they will love this book. Those who have watched her videos or listened to her podcasts will immediately recognize her distinctive speaking style in this memoir recounting her journey from the trauma of divorce and evangelicalism to the healing and rebuilding of her life. Her cadence is energetic, and listeners will be captivated by her combination of gravity and humor overlaid with forthright sincerity. Also, featured in the audiobook are asides voiced by friends and family, as well as audio clips of interviews from Jen’s podcasts (not found in the print edition). It all adds up to a candid, earnest, and engaging portrayal of her life."

Heartbreaking Story of How Her Life Fell Apart and How Beautifully She Was Put Back Together, and Even Better!

I particularly loved how her network of friends surrounded her, supported her and kept pointing her back to hope and healing. And also, Jen’s acknowledgment that her 26 years of marriage were a part of her story - even a beautiful part of her story, in spite of the betrayal and pain. And that she could honor those beautiful parts and release the painful parts. There’s such grace and beauty in her story in spite of the trauma. It’s a beautiful story of recovery and repair. Now through it all, Jen is even better- thriving and teaching us all how to listen to our bodies and love ourselves. Teaching us how to awake!

I stayed home from church today.

And spent it listening to this book. It bucked me up, and as a husband and a father of two awesome daughters, and it made me want to be a better man for all of them.

This is an empowering book. I too, growing up in the church, was hammered with that confounded verse from Jeremiah 17:9. It’s taken a long time to be comfortable with trusting my inner voice and throwing off the doctrinal dogma and framework that paints God into a patriarchal corner. Ms. Hatmaker does a great job of illustrating the shortcomings of these conventional beliefs that we inherited, generation after generation, and demonstrates why women truly are the pinnacle of God’s creation: the beautiful mystics, the Hildegards of Bingen, the Julians of Norwich.

This book also parallels something I’ve seen in my profession as a woodworker. The trees that have endured the greatest stresses yield the most beautiful wood. Trials can unveil beauty.

I will be enthusiastically recommending this book to my daughters!

Amazing resilience!

A tragic story told with so much grace, humility, and tactful humor throughout. I love Jen Hatmaker even more after reading this book. Her best one yet! I am buying a copy for my best friend!

Honest

I enjoyed Jen’s beautiful memoir of healing and launching the second half of her life. It was a pleasant surprise that the audio version included sidebars and clips from Podcast interviews. Jen’s delivery was spot on and funny as always.

So moving and sweet!!

Loved it all. The section where her father reads his note had me in tears!

Generous & Authentic

I’m grateful for the way Jen has shared her experience in such an authentic and therefore relatable way. Thank you, Jen, for giving me words to articulate parts of my own experience! I’m especially thankful for the sense of empowerment and boldness I feel to live my own life awake to who God made me to be!

the honesty and growth

Amazing!!! Jen Hatmaker has done it again. She is raw, she is contemplative, and she is real. She walks us through pieces of her childhood and the breakup of her marriage. Most of all, she sparks realization in the reader about analyzing their "before," whatever that may be. "The before may be debilitating, but at least it is familiar." "You don't realize you aren't walking on eggshells until you can't hear them crunching under your feet." Please do your future self a favor and listen to this book.

Jen's best book yet!

These are the stories that need to be told, and a rare few tell them as well as Jen. Extra content for listeners is always beloved from Jen.

We do make it through, and wow do we shine

This is Jen’s story, and yet so much of it feels so familiar to so many of us that I felt seen, held, comforted and encouraged all along the way. I haven’t laughed and cried so hard simultaneously through a book before and I’m just so grateful for the experience. When you share with us through your stories, Jen, you walk with us in our own journeys. What a companion your books always are. Thank you!

Jen’s Best

I have read every book of Jen Hatmaker’s, and this is by far my favorite. I devoured it in one day and am now going back and highlighting/underlining my paper copy. I highly recommend listening to the audio version, as there is quite a bit of bonus content. I laughed out loud too many times to count, and minutes later found myself wiping away tears. My favorite was “Attachment” and “Close the Bones”, but every page is perfect.