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Publisher's Summary

A Seventeen Best Book of the Year
A New York Public Library Top Ten Best Book of the Year
A Kirkus Best Book of the Year

For fans of All the Bright Places and Looking for Alaska comes "a daring, inventive story about love and loss and longing, reminding us that every choice can be a new chance. A dazzling, not-to-be-missed debut" (Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces).

In one impulsive moment the summer before they leave for college, Scarlett and David plunge into a brief and irresistible swirl of romance, particle physics, and questionable decisions.

Scarlett and David have known each other all their lives in small-town Graceville, Colorado, where David is just another mountain in the background, until, one day, he is suddenly so much more than part of the scenery. Magnetic, spontaneous, David is a gravitational force. And Scarlett, pragmatic, wry, eye on the future, welcomes the pull he has on her even as she resists it.

Moving between the present and the past, this is the story of a seemingly grounded girl who's pulled into a lightning-strike romance with an electric-charged boy, and the enormity of the aftermath. Smart, bold, and emotionally deep, Shana Youngdahl's debut explores grief, guilt, and reconciling who you think you need to be with the person you've been all along. It's an aching, transporting reminder that between the past that shapes us and the unknowable future, we have only the present to forgive ourselves and forge ahead.

"A story you won't forget." (Huntley Fitzpatrick, author of My Life Next Door)

"Mystery... Heartbreak... Hope... Readers will not be able to put this one down." (SLJ)

"Vivid" (Seventeen.com)

"You'll speed read through [it]" (PopSugar)

"John Green-like, intelligent and peppered with witty repartee" (Booklist)

"Heartbreaking, exquisitely crafted" (Estelle Laure, author of This Raging Light)

"Deeply authentic... Marvelously complex... Readers shouldn't miss [it]" (Kirkus starred review)

"A complex, compassionately written love story" (PW)

"A definite purchase and must read." (Voya)

"Perfect." (BookPage)

©2019 Shana Youngdahl (P)2019 Listening Library

Critic Reviews

“This heartbreaking, exquisitely crafted story captures the moments of intersection between choice and regret, the circular nature of grief, and everything that is nuanced about being a person.” (Estelle Laure, author of This Raging Light

"Grief, addiction, first loves, and traveling an unplanned road are among the many themes explored in this debut novel.... Heartfelt yet often sardonic....deeply authentic...[and] marvelously complex... [A] smart, poignant story that serious teen readers shouldn't miss." (Kirkus, starred review)

"A complex, compassionately written love story." (Publishers Weekly

What listeners say about As Many Nows as I Can Get

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