-
Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags
- Narrated by: Carla Collins
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Prime members: New to Audible?Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags
Buy for $17.18
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
We're Going to Need More Wine
- Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and True
- By: Gabrielle Union
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Union
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 22,890
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 20,338
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 20,284
In this moving collection of thought-provoking essays infused with her unique wisdom and deep humor, Union tells astonishingly personal and true stories about power, color, gender, feminism, and fame. Union tackles a range of experiences, including bullying, beauty standards and competition between women in Hollywood, growing up in white California suburbia and then spending summers with her Black relatives in Nebraska, coping with crushes, puberty, and the divorce of her parents.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
👏🏾👏🏾 thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU!! #BRAVO
- By Kenneisha T. on 11-22-17
By: Gabrielle Union
-
The Mother of Black Hollywood
- A Memoir
- By: Jenifer Lewis
- Narrated by: Jenifer Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 11,136
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,957
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9,917
Jenifer Lewis keeps it real in this provocative and touching memoir by a Midwestern girl with a dream whose journey from poverty to Hollywood will move, shock, and inspire listeners. Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers", Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I could barely finish it.
- By Manning Fam on 06-17-18
By: Jenifer Lewis
-
Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54,329
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,304
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,071
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60,447
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50,583
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,351
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,731
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,525
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,479
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
-
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 16,850
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14,752
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 14,718
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
-
We're Going to Need More Wine
- Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and True
- By: Gabrielle Union
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Union
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 22,890
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 20,338
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 20,284
In this moving collection of thought-provoking essays infused with her unique wisdom and deep humor, Union tells astonishingly personal and true stories about power, color, gender, feminism, and fame. Union tackles a range of experiences, including bullying, beauty standards and competition between women in Hollywood, growing up in white California suburbia and then spending summers with her Black relatives in Nebraska, coping with crushes, puberty, and the divorce of her parents.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
👏🏾👏🏾 thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU!! #BRAVO
- By Kenneisha T. on 11-22-17
By: Gabrielle Union
-
The Mother of Black Hollywood
- A Memoir
- By: Jenifer Lewis
- Narrated by: Jenifer Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 11,136
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,957
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9,917
Jenifer Lewis keeps it real in this provocative and touching memoir by a Midwestern girl with a dream whose journey from poverty to Hollywood will move, shock, and inspire listeners. Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers", Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I could barely finish it.
- By Manning Fam on 06-17-18
By: Jenifer Lewis
-
Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54,329
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,304
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,071
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60,447
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50,583
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,351
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,731
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,525
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,479
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
-
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 16,850
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14,752
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 14,718
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
-
The Princess Diarist
- By: Carrie Fisher
- Narrated by: Carrie Fisher, Billie Lourd
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,625
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7,869
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,822
When Carrie Fisher recently discovered the journals she kept during the filming of the first Star Wars movie, she was astonished to see what they had preserved—plaintive love poems, unbridled musings with youthful naiveté, and a vulnerability that she barely recognized. Today, her fame as an author, actress, and pop-culture icon is indisputable, but in 1977, Carrie Fisher was just a teenager with an all-consuming crush on her costar, Harrison Ford.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Come for the headlines, stay for the whole story
- By JOSEPH on 12-06-16
By: Carrie Fisher
-
Why Not Me?
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 15,650
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13,744
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 13,650
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
-
The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl
- By: Issa Rae
- Narrated by: Issa Rae
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,939
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7,746
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,703
"My name is 'J' and I'm awkward--and Black. Someone once told me those were the two worst things anyone could be. That someone was right. Where do I start?" Being an introvert in a world that glorifies cool isn't easy. But when Issa Rae, the creator of the Shorty Award-winning hit series The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, is that introvert--whether she's navigating love, work, friendships, or rapping--it sure is entertaining.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved
- By Jamila on 02-25-15
By: Issa Rae
-
Scrappy Little Nobody
- By: Anna Kendrick
- Narrated by: Anna Kendrick
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,704
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 16,966
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,855
Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little... Revelation
- By Andrew on 01-17-17
By: Anna Kendrick
-
Girl Logic
- The Genius and the Absurdity
- By: Iliza Shlesinger
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik, Iliza Shlesinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,644
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,996
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,964
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A delight
- By Haha917 on 03-28-18
By: Iliza Shlesinger
-
Shrill
- Notes from a Loud Woman
- By: Lindy West
- Narrated by: Lindy West
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,081
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,521
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,493
Shrill is an uproarious memoir, a feminist rallying cry in a world that thinks gender politics are tedious and that women, especially feminists, can't be funny. Coming of age in a culture that demands women be as small, quiet, and compliant as possible - like a porcelain dove that will also have sex with you - writer and humorist Lindy West quickly discovered that she was anything but. With inimitable good humor, vulnerability, and boundless charm, Lindy boldly shares how to survive in a world where not all stories are created equal.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Bookclub or no bookclub?
- By Dan Mulligan on 06-17-16
By: Lindy West
-
Girl Walks into a Bar...
- Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
- By: Rachel Dratch
- Narrated by: Rachel Dratch
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,334
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,758
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,754
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Flowing comedic reality
- By Steve on 05-01-12
By: Rachel Dratch
-
The Bedwetter
- Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
- By: Sarah Silverman
- Narrated by: Sarah Silverman
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,559
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,812
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,801
From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne and star of the powerful 2015 film I Smile Back Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. If you like Sarah's television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea and Artie Lange's Too Fat to Fish, you'll love The Bedwetter.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
a surprisingly nice, unsurprisingly funny memoir
- By Jamie on 04-30-10
By: Sarah Silverman
-
Roseannearchy
- Dispatches from the Nut Farm
- By: Roseanne Barr
- Narrated by: Roseanne Barr
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 110
Roseanne Barr is a force of nature. Whether taking the sitcom world by storm, challenging accepted social norms, or battling the wild pigs inhabiting her nut farm in Hawaii, she is not to be trifled with. In this audiobook, Roseanne unleashes her razor-sharp observations on hypocrisy, hubris, and self-perpetuating institutions of questionable value - as well as menopause, pharmaceuticals, and her grandkids. And she's as controversial, original, and funny as ever.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
If "My Lives" left you wanting more......
- By Amethyst on 01-12-11
By: Roseanne Barr
-
Mean Baby
- A Memoir of Growing Up
- By: Selma Blair
- Narrated by: Selma Blair
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,806
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,618
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,603
The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention. In a memoir that is as wildly funny as it is emotionally shattering, Blair tells the captivating story of growing up and finding her truth.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Poor little privileged girl...
- By Tesa Fisher on 09-20-22
By: Selma Blair
-
Confessions of a Prairie Bitch
- How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated
- By: Alison Arngrim
- Narrated by: Alison Arngrim
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,387
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,250
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,247
Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is Alison Arngrim's comic memoir of growing up as one of television's most memorable characters - the devious Nellie Oleson on the hit television show Little House on the Prairie. With behind-the-scenes stories from the set, as well as tales from her bohemian upbringing in West Hollywood and her headline-making advocacy work on behalf of HIV awareness and abused children, Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is a must for fans of everything Little House.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Do yourself a favor .....GET THIS AUDIO BOOK!!!!!
- By AnnShamrock on 11-07-17
By: Alison Arngrim
-
Crazy Is My Superpower
- How I Triumphed by Breaking Bones, Breaking Hearts, and Breaking the Rules
- By: AJ Mendez
- Narrated by: AJ Mendez
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,112
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,010
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,007
Recently retired WWE superstar AJ Mendez Brooks is a powerhouse - strong, quirky, and totally confident. But that wasn’t always the case. With humor and tremendous heart, she opens up for the first time about her harrowing struggle to understand her demons and the diagnosis that helped her gain control over her life.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Expected a wrestling book, got a lot more
- By marcelo on 07-21-17
By: AJ Mendez
Publisher's summary
In this candid confessional, comedian Carla Collins divides the world into the angels who guide us, inspire us, and save our butts; the sexy and trendy vampires who suck the life out of us; and the douche bags who constantly annoy, disgust, and taunt us.
With a fast wit, fake breasts and real heart, Collins shares her unconventional journey from a small steel town in Ontario, Canada, to Tinseltown, L.A. On this wild and revealing romp, she navigates her way through 72 imaginary friends, multiple fiancés, eight dogs, two marriages, and one topless grandmother.
Her hard-earned life lessons will show you that by taking risks, embracing humiliation and tapping into the power of laughter, anything is possible—and everyone is manageable. Attract more angels into your life, control your vampires, and keep all the douche bags at bay. Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags is original, edgy, uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny.
Related to this topic
-
The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
-
Trans Figured
- My Journey from Boy to Girl to Woman to Man
- By: Brian Belovitch
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Brian Belovitch has the rare distinction of coming out three times: first as a queer teenager; second as a glamorous transgender woman named Tish, and later, Natalia Gervais; and finally as an HIV-positive gay man surviving the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. From growing up in a barely-working-class first-generation immigrant family in Fall River, Massachusetts, to spinning across the disco dance floor of Studio 54 in New York City, Brian escaped many near-death experiences. Trans Figured chronicles a life lived on the edge with an unforgettable cast of characters.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
How utterly exhausting
- By Leah on 11-19-18
By: Brian Belovitch
-
I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 74
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 75
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
-
Trans Figured
- My Journey from Boy to Girl to Woman to Man
- By: Brian Belovitch
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Brian Belovitch has the rare distinction of coming out three times: first as a queer teenager; second as a glamorous transgender woman named Tish, and later, Natalia Gervais; and finally as an HIV-positive gay man surviving the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. From growing up in a barely-working-class first-generation immigrant family in Fall River, Massachusetts, to spinning across the disco dance floor of Studio 54 in New York City, Brian escaped many near-death experiences. Trans Figured chronicles a life lived on the edge with an unforgettable cast of characters.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
How utterly exhausting
- By Leah on 11-19-18
By: Brian Belovitch
-
I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 74
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 75
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 515
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 460
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 459
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 116
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 98
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 98
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
-
Kiss and Tell
- By: Shannon Tweed, Jules McCarron
- Narrated by: Shannon Tweed
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 351
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 286
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
In this long-awaited autobiography, one of the most beautiful women in the world tells her story, from growing up on a mink ranch in Newfoundland with six brothers and sisters to raising two children with a rock star in Beverly Hills. One of the most popular and best-known Playboy pin-ups ever, Shannon Tweed burst on the scene in the 80s as Playmate of the Year and Hugh Hefner's love interest. She soon became a successful actress, appearing in countless movies and television series.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Interesting listen.
- By KRG on 01-22-11
By: Shannon Tweed, and others
-
The Mother of Black Hollywood
- A Memoir
- By: Jenifer Lewis
- Narrated by: Jenifer Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 11,136
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,957
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9,917
Jenifer Lewis keeps it real in this provocative and touching memoir by a Midwestern girl with a dream whose journey from poverty to Hollywood will move, shock, and inspire listeners. Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers", Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I could barely finish it.
- By Manning Fam on 06-17-18
By: Jenifer Lewis
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,547
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,959
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,929
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
-
Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 191
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 164
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 166
With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
-
BRAVE
- By: Rose McGowan
- Narrated by: Rose McGowan
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,297
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,180
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,178
In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I always wondered what it was like to be Rose
- By Bobbie J Daniel on 03-01-18
By: Rose McGowan
-
I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
-
Growing Up Fisher
- Musings, Memories, and Misadventures
- By: Joely Fisher
- Narrated by: Joely Fisher
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 126
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 108
Actress, director, entertainer Joely Fisher invites listeners backstage into the intimate world of her career and family with this hilarious, irreverent, down-to-earth memoir filled with incredible, candid stories about her life, her famous parents, and how the loss of her unlikely hero, sister Carrie Fisher, ignited the writer in her.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Not what I thought it would be but I loved it.
- By Kristopher's Korner on 01-15-18
By: Joely Fisher
-
Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 542
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 434
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 433
Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
-
The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
-
I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 833
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 743
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 735
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
What listeners say about Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Jazzbea
- 08-12-11
Fantastic Portrayal Of Folks We Encounter
Carla’s depiction of various characters we come upon in life is down to earth. I too, believe Angels are "REAL PEOPLE" who touch our lives in an angelic way. Vampires are real people as well. Who has not encountered someone who’s sole purpose in life is a soul sucker. And Douche Bags? Nothing more needs to be said than the name.
I listened to this audio while driving on a long road trip. Very entertaining!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
- Felicia
- 08-05-10
Great Fun!
What I LOVED: I had (still don't) who Carla Collins is but she is freaking hilarious! This was a book about life and with her witty spin, I was laughing out loud while listening to it. She narrated her own book and you could tell she was making herself giggle at times.
What I LIKED: She talked about real things and gave real examples under each of the categories she talked about. She reads at a really good speed--I know this seems like something odd to mention but really the spe...more What I LOVED: I had (still don't) who Carla Collins is but she is freaking hilarious! This was a book about life and with her witty spin, I was laughing out loud while listening to it. She narrated her own book and you could tell she was making herself giggle at times.
What I LIKED: She talked about real things and gave real examples under each of the categories she talked about. She reads at a really good speed--I know this seems like something odd to mention but really the speed worked really well for the book. I also like that she blames Speidi for all the worlds problems :) (Totally Agree LOL)
Complaints: To short but hey that is just because I was completely entertained.
Why I gave it a 4: I laughed so much I was almost crying at parts. Carla is funny, down to earth, and really knows how to deliver a story. A not to miss autobiography in my book.
Who I would recommend it too: Fans of Chelsea Handler or Jen Lancaster should enjoy this one :)
Received from: bought from audible
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!