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Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
Think superheroes are tough? Try having one for a boss, or co-worker. That’s the predicament Andrea Vernon finds herself in as the heroine of Alexander C. Kane’s debut audiobook. Drowning in debt, and forced to move back into her parents’ Queens apartment, Andrea starts looking for a job. Luckily for her, she finds herself recruited—well, really kidnapped—by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (C.U.P.), an organization that deploys superheroes. Suddenly Andrea must contend with co-workers who can shoot lightning from their fingertips, face the imminent destruction of humanity, and juggle a fledgling romance with a giant lumberjack. It’s all in a day’s work for the would-be novelist turned superstar secretary.
Audible Hall of Fame narrator Bahni Turpin is perfectly cast as a normal person finding herself in abnormal circumstances. Turpin brings to life an entire cast of quirky characters, along with their heroically funny antics in the cubicle next door. If you’ve ever wondered what a genetically altered rhinoceros sounds like, or needed to take a break from your own office drudgery, this is the comedy for you.
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Our favorite moments from Andrea Vernon
Publisher's summary
Think superheroes are tough? Try having one for a boss, or co-worker. That’s the predicament Andrea Vernon finds herself in as the heroine of Alexander C. Kane’s debut audiobook. Drowning in debt, and forced to move back into her parents’ Queens apartment, Andrea starts looking for a job. Luckily for her, she finds herself recruited—well, really kidnapped—by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (C.U.P.), an organization that deploys superheroes. Suddenly Andrea must contend with co-workers who can shoot lightning from their fingertips, face the imminent destruction of humanity, and juggle a fledgling romance with a giant lumberjack. It’s all in a day’s work for the would-be novelist turned superstar secretary.
Audible Hall of Fame narrator Bahni Turpin is perfectly cast as a normal person finding herself in abnormal circumstances. Turpin brings to life an entire cast of quirky characters, along with their heroically funny antics in the cubicle next door. If you’ve ever wondered what a genetically altered rhinoceros sounds like, or needed to take a break from your own office drudgery, this is the comedy for you.
About the Performer
Bahni Turpin is a Los Angeles-based actress with many television and film credits in addition to being an award winning narrator. She is honored to have been awarded an Audie for Best Female Narrator, 2015, Audible Narrator of the Year, 2016, and American Library Association’s Voice of Choice for 2017. In 2018, Bahni won best female narration again, and was also inducted into the Audible Hall of Fame. She is a two-time Odyssey Award winner, and was also named as one of Audiophile's Golden Voices for 2019.
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By: Annabel Monaghan
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Waste of Space
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg, Maxwell Glick
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Cram 10 hormonal teens into a spaceship and blast off: that's the premise for the ill-conceived reality show Waste of Space. The kids who are cast know everything about drama - and nothing about the fact that the production is fake. Hidden in a desert warehouse, their spaceship replica is equipped with state-of-the-art special effects dreamed up by the scientists partnering with the shady cable network airing the show.
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#CatchPhraseForever
- By Diane S. on 07-28-17
By: Gina Damico
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The Queen's Road
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Original Recording
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Ramon “Ray” Cosa’s life is not what he expected it to be. Living in a small Texas town ravaged by Hurricane Harvey, Ray has suffered many losses in his young life, and he has little hope left that anything will ever change or get better. That is, until the vintage Ford Galaxie and its strange, dying owner enters Ray’s life. Given a jeweled ring he cannot remove and a desperate mission, Ray is plunged into a universe of secrets, wonders, and terrors he never dreamed exists. Now, he travels the Queen's Road - a hyper-space highway that connects all the planets in creation.
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Hopefully the start of a new series.
- By Alex Sumner on 01-26-20
By: R. S. Belcher
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The Very Nice Box
- By: Eve Gleichman, Laura Blackett
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Ava Simon designs storage boxes for STÄDA, a slick Brooklyn-based furniture company. She’s hard-working, obsessive, and heartbroken from a tragedy that killed her girlfriend and upended her life. It’s been years since she’s let anyone in. But when Ava’s new boss—the young and magnetic Mat Putnam—offers Ava a ride home one afternoon, an unlikely relationship blossoms. Ava remembers how rewarding it can be to open up—and, despite her instincts, she becomes enamored. But Mat isn’t who he claims to be, and the romance takes a sharp turn.
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a fun, quirky story
- By Barbara S on 09-02-21
By: Eve Gleichman, and others
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The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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88 Names
- A Novel
- By: Matt Ruff
- Narrated by: Ewan Chung
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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John Chu is a “sherpa” - a paid guide to online role-playing games. For a fee, he and his crew will provide you with a top-flight character equipped with the best weapons and armor. Chu’s new client, "Mr. Jones", claims to be a “wealthy, famous person” with powerful enemies, and he’s offering a ridiculous amount of money for a comprehensive tour. For Chu, this is a dream assignment, but then he begins to suspect that Mr. Jones is really North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. But Chu also has to worry about “Ms. Pang”, and his angry ex-girlfriend, Darla Jean Covington....
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I love this author... didn’t love this book.
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-20
By: Matt Ruff
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The Postmortal
- A Novel
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
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In a world where an anti-aging cure is available worldwide, immortality comes with its own unique problems. John Farrell is about to get "The Cure". Old age can never kill him now. The only problem is, everything else still can.
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Interesting concept but bleak and wearing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-12
By: Drew Magary
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Max of the Rebellion
- The Last Time Loop, Book 1
- By: Anton Emelianov, Sergei Savinov
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Any kind of death annuls everything except his present knowledge and returns him to the past. This is a good way to test all sorts of things. That is, it would be, if not for one little thing.... This loop has real lords and it's unlikely that they'll be happy to hear about an uninvited guest. And that isn't his only problem - all of his memories of the last year have simply disappeared, but the world around him has changed in the meantime.
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Not Great
- By Erik on 04-30-20
By: Anton Emelianov, and others
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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Great
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Stan Weir is mourning a tragic loss when he meets a mysterious nine-year-old girl, who claims to be the reincarnated spirit of his late wife. Marcy Keef is a single mother trying to make ends meet when her daughter Erin starts describing ‘past life memories’. Neither wants to believe Erin, but as violent secrets are revealed, the truth becomes harder to deny.
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Authors just should not put any twist they want
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Cut and Run
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Samantha is a professional seductress and con artist with a heart of gold. If she talked about her work, she’d tell you she only pilfers organs for medical research and that she only takes one kidney, and she only steals those kidneys from dishonest people. It’s hell on her social life. Abe is the doctor and Sam's partner in crime. He isn’t much of a criminal. Except for the kidney stealing. But he’s using that money to fund his research that he anticipates will be able to cure diabetes. So, all for a good cause...? You decide. Of course, it's hell on his social life.
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Dumb and funny
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What listeners say about Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rowan
- 09-13-17
Enjoyable and hilarious
I loved this audiobook for the most part. In fact it only fell a little short of a 5 star rating because the multiple viewpoints happening concurrently were a bit confusing and pulled me out of the story a little. But for a debut novel I thoroughly enjoyed it. The puns, the tongue in cheek jokes, the ridiculous situations and the visuals had me laughing out loud. I think the most intriguing aspect was how the corporation was an entity and character on its own and carried part of the story. I highly recommend if you enjoy satire.
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- James
- 02-24-18
If your a ninth grader you'll just love it
This book I think was intended for the junior high set. And maybe I'm just too old and stuffy to enjoy it.
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5 people found this helpful
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- SoCalBonnie
- 10-16-18
The love child of Douglas Adams and Stan Lee!
Wow, what a great surprise! The perfect blend of contemporary sci-fy and humor. I loved it!
Andrea Vernon is perennially broke, an oft-unemployed European Studies/English double major (minor in Psychology) who has wasted most of her twenties trying to finish her historical retelling of Chancellor Metternich's love life -- while toying with the idea of moving to Haiti to do noble work that will be "celebrated for generations". Or maybe she could do both?
In a moment of aimless desperation she fills out an online job application. The job is Administrative Assistant; the requirements of which are typing skills and the ability to never ask questions. Moments after she hits "send", she is propelled into the world of the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (CUP) run by the no-nonsense Ms. Persephone Oh.
By the way, the Southern Ms Oh is never without a homespun quip, like, "The U.S. government, bless its heart, couldn't run a candy store in Hungry Town." If Kane ever publishes a collection of her quotes on running a business, I would buy it in a heartbeat.
Kane describes the office world perfectly, that is, if your daily cubicle adventures included managing super hero teams who are on contract to take care of the world's dark forces, such as "invading aliens, crazed millionaires bent on world domination, and mutant armies."
Sure, this is Andrea's story, but it's also the story of every CUP employee on the profit-sharing plan: from super heroes obsessed with their matching 401K contributions, to staffers in mundane departments like Customer Service, Sales & Operations, and Human Resources. All of them try to get out of their CUPnet training sessions (think Salesforce) and sexual harassment awareness workshops just like the rest of us.
Everything is a joy: all the super hero monikers, the character backstories, the schemes of each super hero management company competing for contracts, the lingo of invading aliens... all of it is amazingly fun and lighthearted... and it just sounds so true to human nature that you can't help but laugh out loud.
Bahni Turpin is now my favorite narrator. She does an outstanding job capturing every personality, handling male and female voices perfectly and performing every accent from multiple "New Yawk" -isms to the mythical Pharoah County, Georgia twang of Ms Oh.
If you love humor and science fiction and have sat through more than one Marvel Comic movie, you won't be disappointed in this book.
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- Scuba Bauce
- 12-16-17
My favorite audiobook this year (and maybe ever)
Would you listen to Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection again? Why?
Absolutely. The writing and the performance of this book will surely draw me in again. I hope the author and the narrator collaborate more in the future.
What did you like best about this story?
The variance of super heroes, their names, and back stories. I don't even like super heroes and I loved this book. Inspector Well Actually..., Kitchen Sink (KITCHEN SINK WILL FIGHT!), Crabbie, and the sexual awakened Rhino were my favorites.
What about Bahni Turpin’s performance did you like?
Her range was incredible. Narrators can make or break titles and I can't think of one criticism for her performance. She knocked it out of the park with all of her voicing - from Georgia twang to Aliens to Brooklyn. She could voice a full cast book on her own. She was amazing!
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The whole book was a great ride. I loved everything from super hero sexual harassment training to the finale.
Any additional comments?
Love how it's adult in nature without resorting to swearing on any page. Not that I have anything against swearing, I just feel the author was able to carry a mature story that's accessible to a wider audience without throwing in language that would turn off some.
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- James
- 08-09-18
Watchmen meets Mad Men.
a refreshing take on the superhero World enjoyable to follow the protagonist as she finds her place in it. I wish more novels would take this approach. hysterically reminded me of a combination of the Watchmen with a mix of Mad Men quite funny.
the narrator Bahni was fantastic; she fit the character very well and voiced all the other characters superbly. I wish more audible books would employ female narrators instead of resorting to male narrators I hope to listen to more books narrated by Bahni.
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- A. G.
- 01-18-18
A fun read. A great narrator.
I really enjoyed this urban comic book style super hero story with a Black female protagonist with Caribbean roots and a diverse cast left to save the Bronx. Really?? Check it out.
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- Star
- 02-24-18
Not as good as the reviews said
Like everyone I read the reviews to get a sense of the books. I feel like reviewers were way to kind to this book. I was hoping for something in the vain of CT Phipps or MK Gibson’s book. Although you did get some of that snarky, on the nose humor, this book fell way short overall. Andrea really got on my nerves! How is it that she went from this shiftless, wayward person, to an all star overnight? I guess that’s the point of the humor in the book but it just maybe me roll my eyes out loud. Anyhoo I did see it through as I was interested in how things shaped up. Like most people said the narrator was awesome and is definitely the saving grace for this book. If your are looking for a different more cynical, funny, and just plain out of the box thinking on super heroes and super villains try the others I mentioned.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Eb
- 10-12-17
30 Rock meets X-Men
Loved this book. Picked it based on cover art because I was curious how this plus sized woman of color ( who reminds me a lot of myself) could possibly fit into a super hero story. Wasn't sure what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised by how witty and relevant the story and characters were. Would love a part 2.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Spencer Biegun
- 10-01-17
Good for a laugh
This book grew on me as I listened. I found it a little juvenile in some areas. This book was definitely written by a man trying to be a woman's voice. He didn't quite get it.
The plot was interesting enough to have me listen to the end.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Shephali Bhakta
- 08-28-17
Awesome
Great story! Hilarious characters in a surreal world! I highly recommend this to anyone with a thing for superheroes, regular heroes, or corporate satire.
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3 people found this helpful