And Baby Makes Three

The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
Narrated by: Randye Kaye
Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
4 out of 5 stars (98 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by:

  • Maintaining intimacy and romance
  • Replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation
  • Preventing postpartum depression
  • Creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby

Complete with exercises that separate the "master" from the "disaster" couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.

©2007 John M. Gottman, PhD, and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about And Baby Makes Three

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

More couple's therapy than adapting with new baby.

I expected this book to be about how to adjust to a new family member and the stresses that come with new babies. While the book did give insight as to a new mom's feelings of not being cared for and new dad's feelings of being left out, this book was mostly about how to fight better, listen and respond to your partners needs and concerns, and resolve conflict in a healthy way. Anyone could use these techniques. The book did discuss the impact healthy conflict resolution has on unborn babies and infants and how a couples relationship affects a babies understanding of his world. Very helpful and I look forward to listening with my partner and actually completing the questionnaires together to help us grow and become more unified.

2 people found this helpful

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Helps explain a lot of what has happened.

Explains a lot of whay has happened in my marriage. Particularly as being a father and the divide that grew between my wife and I. Also provide excellent exercises to build a stronger than before relationship.

2 people found this helpful

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Not as helpful as I expected

The examples of couples were good. The writers unfortunately talk down to the readers as if we are children ourselves when we are actually adults with capable brains. The authors also include an overwhelming number of surveys. In the written version i may have just glossed over these, however in the audiobook that impossible because who knows when they will end. There multiple surveys with hundreds of questions for the listener (Ie very boring). On a side note, if you need a good night's sleep buy this book and put it on).

1 person found this helpful

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I Expected More..

This book did not meet my expectations. If this is your first book reading as a married couple, then it could be beneficial. It reads very much like a marriage-basics book. However, it felt almost exclusively like a marriage book and less like a "how marriage is affected by children book." I'm pregnant with our first child and really want to be prepared for how it will affect my marriage. After reading it, I'm not sure I'm any closer to knowing how things will change. In my audiobook version it didn't give the chapter names so it was difficult to tell where each chapter was going. The most helpful part of the book was towards the end when it gave a lot of discussion questions to use with your partner. They led to a lot of great conversations, but it was nothing I couldn't have found on Google.

Overall, if this is your first marriage book, then absolutely read it! If you have read several marriage books as a couple and are looking for a book that REALLY prepares you for the changes after a child, I would personally look elsewhere.

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This book really needs an accompanying PDF!

Fantastic advice and very practical steps to go through but this being an audible version really makes it difficult to reference those lists and exercises present in the book. Please add a summary pdf to this book. I had to go online and buy a used copy of this book so I could use as reference/workbook

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Awful Narrator

I really want to like this book and I really want to like it, but I just can't. Not in audible form anyways. The narrator reads ridiculously fast and makes it difficult to be able to pay attention and follow along. I also don't think it was as well written as it could have been because the way it's going so far it's difficult to connect some of the stories with the lessons they're trying to implement.

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Excludes non-heterosexual relationships

Needs updating to include all types of families, partnerships, and upbringings. If updates were made it was at the beginning of the book and not throughout.

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Remarkable

I enjoyed listening to this book and learning more about what it takes to have a healthy partnership after having a baby, but it's hard to follow as an audiobook. I definitely recommend buying the paper copy to any couple who is having a baby!

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Not what I was expecting

It focused a lot more on the relationship (and how to effectively argue) than it did about baby. The book is set up as a series of “exercises” to do with your partner with tons of questions. Audiobook isn’t the best format for following along a series of questions that are supposed to lead to conversations. I found it boring.

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Dated and redundant information

I like the Gottman's work, overall, but found this book has quite a bit of similar information to some of their other works. Also, some of the gender discussions are dated and only applicable to heterosexuals.

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  • Leis
  • 04-23-20

Old fashioned

I was really looking forward to this book. We attended a Gottman seminar during my pregnancy and found it was the best education session we’d attended. Unfortunately this book feels outdated and out of touch.

If you’re a couple in conflict with very undeveloped communication skills you may find some valuable information but a lot of it was very common sense to me.

The whole book feels as though it’s not been updated since 1955, it’s heteronormative and appears to be based on the premise that fathers go to work each morning and mothers stay at home with the children, or at best work part time.

It fails to analyse modern family trends even amongst heterosexual couples in which both parents are required to work or maintain a career. It also fails to address the disconnected society that couples are trying to raise their family in.

This book needs a rewrite.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Ilias
  • 10-16-19

terrible

Highly unrealistic conversations. 50% of the book is lists of various feelings. If you have a highly volatile relationship this may help. But if you are looking to stay connected to your partner youd be better off spending actual time with them rather that wasting 7+ hours on this book.