• All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep

  • Hope - and Hard Pills to Swallow - About Fighting for Black Lives
  • By: Andre Henry
  • Narrated by: Andre Henry
  • Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (167 ratings)

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All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep  By  cover art

All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep

By: Andre Henry
Narrated by: Andre Henry
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Publisher's summary

A leading voice for social justice reveals how he stopped arguing with White people who deny the ongoing legacy of racism - and offers a proven path forward for Black people and people of color based on the history of nonviolent struggle.

“A moving personal journey that lends practical insight for expanding and strengthening the global antiracist movement.” (Patrisse Khan-Cullors, co-founder of Black Lives Matter, best-selling author of When They Call You a Terrorist)

When the rallying cry “Black Lives Matter” was heard across the world in 2013, Andre Henry was one of the millions for whom the movement caused a political awakening and a rupture in some of his closest relationships with White people. As he began using his artistic gifts to share his experiences and perspective, Henry was aggrieved to discover that many White Americans - people he called friends and family - were more interested in debating whether racism existed or whether Henry was being polite enough in the way he used his voice.

In this personal and thought-provoking book, Henry explores how the historical divides between Black people and non-Black people are expressed through our most mundane interactions, and why this struggle won’t be resolved through civil discourse, diversity hires, interracial relationships, or education. What we need is a revolution, one that moves beyond symbolic progress to disrupt systems of racial violence and inequality in tangible, creative ways.

Sharing stories from his own path to activism - from studying at seminary to becoming a student of nonviolent social change, from working as a praise leader to singing about social justice - and connecting those experiences to lessons from successful nonviolent struggles in America and around the world, Andre Henry calls on Black people and people of color to divest from whiteness and its false promises, trust what their lived experiences tell them, and practice hope as a discipline as they work for lasting change.

©2022 Andre Henry (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“In vivid, thoughtful prose, Andre Henry illuminates the next chapter in the fight for Black lives and our collective liberation from state-sanctioned violence and the draconian laws that we are living under in the United States and around the world. All the White Friends I Couldn’t Keep is a moving personal journey that lends practical insight for expanding and strengthening the global antiracist movement.”—Patrisse Khan-Cullors, co-founder of Black Lives Matter, bestselling author of When They Call You a Terrorist

“Andre Henry’s words come on like his music: pleasant to the ear, deeply moving to the heart. As he looks into himself in All the White Friends I Couldn’t Keep with the same unflinching honesty he uses to examine an anti-Black world, he reveals a hard but ultimately joyful evolution, from complacency in understanding racism—even when aimed at people just like him—to embracing activism as a vital part of who he must be.”—John Archibald, winner of the Pulitzer Prize and author of Shaking the Gates of Hell

“This book is militant, revelatory, and revolutionary in so many ways the world needs right now. But beware: Do not read this book if you are complacent about the status quo. These words will agitate you toward antiracist action.”—Jemar Tisby, bestselling author of The Color of Compromise

What listeners say about All the White Friends I Couldn't Keep

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Refreshing…

As a non-Black POC, I wish I had this book in seminary. There were so many times I couldn’t say what I wanted to say because I was surrounded by almost no one except white people. And even the left-leaning seminarians I found still clammed up when I started to talk about things I’ve experienced.

There were several points in listening to his words where I teared up because he said something that validated an experience that I had been gas-lighted into believing didn’t actually happen. “Refreshing” is an understatement. For someone drowning in the ocean, a life-saver isn’t refreshing. This book is like a life boat in this sea of whiteness.

Read it. And then read it again. “Know better, do better.”

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POIGNANT AND RELEVANT

I could not stop listening. Each chapter opens up with a connection that segues into the deep evil of White Supremacy. Our unconscious existence marching to a drumbeat that leads to no glory in the end, but for the beat maker.

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An Excellent Perspective to Help Open the Eyes of the World

I am writing this from a gay white male perspective. I throughly appreciated the opportunity to be given an education on a perspective I haven’t been able to obtain through conversion with people around me. There were definitely parts where I felt triggered and I made sure I wrote those moments down so I could reflect on why those feelings came up and how I could create more space in my reality to accept the realities being shared with me in this book. This world has so far to go when it comes to abolishing racism and other held prejudices but I truly believe that books like this one will play an important role in that progress. There were moments where I felt hopeless that the right changes could happen but the chapters in this book gave phenomenal insights into the roles we need to step into as humans on this earth to start seeing the world as it should be. A world where humanity isn’t defined by a specific race but celebrates everyone’s heritages. We all need to open our eyes to the changes that need to happen and take drastic actions to bring ourselves into that new world. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who needs their minds made more aware of the roles white supremacy has played in the history and present day problems we face as a world.

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Wow

Feel so seen as a black man who has also come through white evangelical spaces. A MUST read indeed.

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Required Reading!

Easily one of my favourite reads of 2023. I am so grateful to Andre Henry for this body of work. It’s so relevant at the moment to the work I am engaged in and current life experiences. Please do yourself a favour and read and gift this book.

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Refreshing

The beauty of becoming, letting go and remembering is so relatable to me. I found all of that and more within the content of this book.

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Mesmerising story-telling

Please read this book. The author writes beautifully - there are so many phrases I wanted to burn into my memory. But it’s more than that, he interweaves his personal story with what’s happened and happening in our world - I’m ordering a print copy after listening to this masterful narration because I want to keep his words and wisdom close to me. If you’re on the fence, get it. You won’t regret it.

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Essential Activist Reading

Andre Henry skillfully addresses many of the tensions those doing justice work face. His powerful story sharing and teaching are highly insightful and more than relevant.

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A Must Read

Relatable moments of pain and anger with examples of freedom in hope explained in a realistic & tangible way to live with a balance.

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Must read

I remember listening to Andre Henry speak on the Dirty Rotten Church Kids around the time this book was released. His words inspired me as I was beginning to decolonize. Listening to this book has convicted me of much of my past anti-blackness and racism, while also educating me immensely.
For anyone who is on their anti-racist and decolonization journey, this is a must. Henry quotes many civil rights leaders and speaks from his experience as an activist in LA. There is a lot of grief, hope, and yet joy in his words. Let them change you.

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