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Publisher's Summary

Kelly Carson is one of those Clark Kent-like guys who just can't stand up for himself. His wife doesn't love him, his boss doesn't respect him, and his father refers to Kelly's twin sister as the son he always wanted. With three weeks to go before Christmas, Kelly receives the shock of his life when he's fired over the telephone while waiting to catch a flight.  

Terri Flynn, a free-spirited starlet who is running away to New York after walking off the set of her latest feature film, overhears Kelly's unceremonious firing and becomes hell-bent on transforming him from the Clark Kent he is into the Superman the impulsive actress feels he's destined to become. 

After their flight to New York is cancelled, Kelly and Terri take a last-minute jaunt to Hawaii, putting in motion a series of hilarious events and misadventures that will have you belly laughing throughout.  

From the beaches of Maui to the concrete jungle of New York and the underground swinger scene of suburban Chicago, Michael Carlon's fifth novel, All the F*cks I Cannot Give, will have wishing you were in Kelly Carson's shoes for just one day.

©2017 Michael Carlon (P)2018 Michael Carlon

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Fun Fun Fun

In the Trump era we need Fun and this Audio Book dellivers.


You do not need details the Book is well done the Narrator delivers the goods.


Download and have a good time.




This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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I gave to many f*cks...

My only complaint about this audible was the musical interludes between chapters.... I could do without those. Otherwise, this book was hilarious!! I already miss the characters.

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A "Hunter" in the Making

This book literally had me rolling with laughter! I could not stop listening! The extra step with Mike Dawson and his almost deadpan, don't give an f attitude as the main character, Kelly, finds out what he is made of. HIGHLY recommend this book.

This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBoom

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  • TU
  • 09-26-18

very entertaining

I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

I really enjoyed this book. It made me chuckle several times and kept me thoroughly entertained. The narration is a perfect fit for this book. Worth listening to if you want a really entertaining book to kill a few hours with.

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A fun listen

The description for this book was spot on, so I won't give away any spoilers here. I will say that the narrator has the perfect voice for the character telling the story--he sounds kind of like a cross between Jack Nicholson and George Carlin, and hits all the right comedic notes. I will also say that while this is a funny novel that made me laugh several times, do not listen to it out loud within earshot of young children unless you want to invite some very awkward questions, lol. It is most definitely adult humor. Other than that, enjoy! I did :)

I was given this book free at my request and have voluntarily provided this review.

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  • seelk
  • Ontario, Canada
  • 09-08-18

LOL hysterical

My first from the author, I really enjoyed it. I totally recommend it, if you enjoy off-the-wall humour, witty comebacks, and not easily offended by 'choice' words. I was laughing out loud most of Kelly's journey to self-re-discovery and leaving behind his fear of confrontation. I am glad it worked out for him, especially that he got his revenge on those who took advantage of his good nature, I was cheering him on. He got the girl too, Terri and him are a match well made. Got to meet some great secondary characters, some that I loved and some I loved to hate. I hope there will be more of Kelly's adventures.

Mr. Dawson is a new voice to me and I think he delivered the story and then some... expressive, passionate, just enough rasp, perfect for this story told from the hero's POV.

Now that I finished the book, the cover makes sense and it totally fits.

I received this free review copy audio book at my request and this review is voluntary.

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I smiled and laughed several times

I loved listening to this book. It is a good story and very funny and was so easy to listen to. Kelly's internal dialogue was great and the narration was absolutely superb. Mike Dawson took a good book and made it excellent! I appreciate when a good story is narrated by the right person and this was one of those instances. This book was just what I was in the mood for and made my work day fly by. I will most likely be listening to this one again in the near future. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

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  • Dee
  • LA
  • 09-05-18

Excellent!!!

I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this listen. It. Was. Excellent.

First, the narration. This story is told from a single POV and it could have easily been a snore. Not in the hands of this narrator. Not only do we get to enjoy the blase attitude of Kelly Carson, our main character, but his internal dialogue was delivered in such a way that I couldn't help but snicker.

The story was fun and could easily have been titled "The making of Kelly Carson." His road to finding himself was seriously special. Kelly's desire to avoid confrontation had been his MO but over the course of the listen, he was forced to reconsider that and more.

I know there really is no opportunity for this book to be a series but man, would I have loved that!