After the Affair, Updated Second Edition

Narrated by: Xe Sands, Janis A. Spring
Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (229 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A staggering number of couples in America - about 70 percent - have been affected by extramarital affairs. After the Affair is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship. Written by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, a nationally known therapist and acknowledged expert on infidelity, this revised and updated version brings the groundbreaking classic into the 21st century, with a new section dealing with online affairs in cyberspace. For women who are struggling in their marriages - and for clinicians, psychology academics, and listeners fascinated by popular psychology - this newly revised and updated edition of After the Affair is essential listening.

©2012 Janis Abrahms Spring (P)2017 HarperCollins Publishers

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Really helped deal during first 30days

This book really helped me through the first 30 days of finding out my wife had an affair with her boss for 10 months beginning a year ago and also had a Nother affair 30 days ago which I confronted her and found out about everything. During this absolutely crazy emotional mess that followed the admittance and then more remittance the ups and downs at first and even today my head is full of crazy emotions but this book help me realize that there are tools out there and with the right intent and willingness, there can be hope that the marriage will actually be stronger after the affair. Only time will tell how my story ends up but I highly recommend this book to be one of the staples of your collection as we learn. Sorry if that text, talk to type for driving safety.

11 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Pro cheater

This book negates the reality of the wrong done. It gives excuses for the cheater. It does not deal with the long term damage to the victims of cheaters or the trauma they experience and carry with them.

5 people found this helpful

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DON’T listen to if you’re the betrayed spouse

Really wasn’t a fan. It honestly made me feel like I was somehow to blame for my husbands affairs. It did not help me at all, and I couldn’t even listen to the whole thing. I removed it from my library so it wouldn’t be yet another trigger for me.

4 people found this helpful

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Helped

After discovering my wife had two, several month affairs back to back, I was devastated. I was angry, confused, perplexed, hurt, and completely heartbroken. How, why, all the questions running through my mind. This book really was spot on in many ways to what happened, how we both felt, things we were talking about, actions that were taken and others that needed to be. It was really a roadmap that accelerated the healing and recovery. We are working things out and we will see how things progress, but the understanding, information, tools, and cases this book discussed has been the honey to the medication.

Thank you

3 people found this helpful

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  • ZW
  • 10-29-17

excellent

she provided practical tools and ways to help with restoring a marriage and also self exploration.

3 people found this helpful

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Restored my hope and helped me to understand

My husband has been in an affair for a year now. This book gave me hope and guidance on how to cope and understand the science and psychology on how our marriage got to where it is and potentially how to heal it. Amazingly my husband called me as I finished this book after no contact for 30 days and being very unsure about coming home all year. He told me this morning he wanted to end it with his affair partner and come home and start rebuilding our marriage. I know we'll be rereading this together to rebuild our second marriage together.

1 person found this helpful

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A thoughtful and powerful read!

Well written with profound empathy for both partners in the throes of repairing after an affair.

1 person found this helpful

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Best book on this topic

I have read a number of books on this topic. After the Affair does a great job of creating a foundation for understanding for both partners. The work has to be done by the couple but this book gives them a great place to start.
I recommend it highly.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Ick intro on responsibility

The INTRO says the BETRAYED must take responsibility for their contribution to the state of the relationship that inspired to the affair. Nope. Discuss that contribution as A SEPARATE TOPIC from the victimization. Trauma triggers galore.

6 people found this helpful

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In the first minutes I hear about myself. Whoa!

The author speaks with compassion and I'm drawn in early as I hear words to describe what I'd had no words to say!
My therapist recommended, I am so glad I listened and listened...