A Fashionably Dead Christmas
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A Fashionably Dead Christmas
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Narrado por:
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Jessica Almasy
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De:
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Robyn Peterman
Acerca de esta escucha
This is a holiday paranormal romantic comedy novella for your listening pleasure!
It's Christmas at the Cressida House, and all hell is breaking loose.
Tree? Decorated and lit. Elf on a Shelf? Seated with style. Baby Jesus on the mantle? Fourteen neatly in a row. Life-size Nutcracker? Creepy, but standing proud. Invitations sent to entire immortal family to celebrate the holiday? Possibly the stupidest damn thing I've ever done.
Mixing heaven and hell on my cousin's famous birthday seemed like such a brilliant idea. I wanted my baby's first Christmas to be special - memorable. I'd like to chalk my heinous idea up to having been falling-down drunk, but that won't fly, as it's insanely difficult for a Vampyre to tie one on. So instead I'll deal with obscene gifts from relatives, kidnapped rock stars, and catering by Mother Nature. To complicate matters, our new family pet thinks the whole house is his toilet. Ethan and I can't even find a room with working lock on the door to spread a little holiday cheer.
Never, never again. Christmas from now on will be at a freakin' spa for the undead - no poles for dancing and no slumber parties with the devil.
I just have to make it through the next 24 hours without beheading a beloved one. Merry freakin' Christmas - and Happy New Year.
©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.Los oyentes también disfrutaron...
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- Duración: 12 h y 14 m
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 3,046
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Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
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I was a top-notch Were agent for the secret paranormal Council and happily living in Chicago, where I had everything I needed - a gym membership, season tickets to the Cubs, and Dwayne - my gay Vampyre best friend. Going back now would mean facing the reason I'd left, and I'd rather chew my own paw off than deal with Hank. Hank the Tank Wilson was the six-foot-three, obnoxious, egotistical, perfect-assed, best-sex-of-my-life Werewolf who cheated on me and broke my heart.
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What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail - just to start with. Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?
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Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 567
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What does a forty-year-old former child star do when she finds out she’s a Demon? A sitcom, of course. Age is just a number unless you’re an actress of a certain age trying to make a comeback in La La Land. Back in the day, I was the child star of the hit show Camp Bites. Today, I’m still living it down.After a disastrous soap opera audition and getting fired from a TV show for not having a bodacious enough backside, one would think I’d be smart enough to go into real estate. Nope. Just found out from the rudest, meanest, and hottest guy alive that I’m a Demon.
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Released from the magic pokey and paroled with limited power is enough to make any witch grumpy. However, if you throw in a recently resurrected cat, a lime-green Kia, and a sexy egotistical werewolf, it's enough to make a gal fly off the edge. Not to mention a mission...with no freaking directions. So here I sit in Asscrack, West Virginia, trying to figure out how to complete my mysterious mission before All Hallows Eve when I'll get turned into a mortal.
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 1,303
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 1,294
I was a top-notch Were agent for the secret paranormal Council and happily living in Chicago, where I had everything I needed - a gym membership, season tickets to the Cubs, and Dwayne - my gay Vampyre best friend. Going back now would mean facing the reason I'd left, and I'd rather chew my own paw off than deal with Hank. Hank the Tank Wilson was the six-foot-three, obnoxious, egotistical, perfect-assed, best-sex-of-my-life Werewolf who cheated on me and broke my heart.
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- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 666
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 622
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 620
What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail - just to start with. Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Caution: so funny, you'll wet your pants!
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The Write Hook
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 2,544
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Four months of wallowing in embarrassed depression should be enough. I’m beginning to realize that no one is who they seem to be, and my life story might be spinning out of my control. It’s time to take a shower, put on a bra, and wear something other than sweatpants. Difficult, but doable. With my friends - real and imaginary - by my side, I need to edit my life before the elusive darkness comes for all of us.
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The first half of a book😡
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Thirty-nine was a fantastic year. I was married to the man I loved. I had a body that worked without creaking. My grandma, who raised me, was still healthy, and life was pretty damned good. But as they say, all good things come to an end. One year later, I’m a widow. My joints are starting to ache. Gram is in the nursing home, and dead people think my home is some kind of supernatural bed-and-breakfast. Gluing body parts onto semi-transparent people has become a side job - deceased people I’m not even sure are actually there.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pwf perfection!
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"Happily Ever After" wasn't supposed to come with a do-over option. But when my husband of 20 years packs up and heads for greener pastures, and my son heads away to college, that's exactly what my midlife becomes. A do-over. This time, though, I plan to do things differently. Age is just a number, after all, and at 40 I'm ready to carve my own path. Eager for a fresh start, I make a somewhat unorthodox decision and move to a tiny town in the Sierra foothills.
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NOoOOooo! It's Over
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Robert
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In 1876, we were called to Savannah, Georgia to help with an infestation of demons. If we'd known what we, my wife Evangeline, and I, were walking into, we'd have run the other way. As it was, we shared tea with a vampire and stepped into a battle we did not understand until it was too late.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great novella to compliment the series
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voices
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Sparrow “Ro” Meadowcroft is about to get the promotion she’s always dreamed of–curator of the museum where she works. She loves old things and the history that surrounds them, so when a patron leaves some items to the museum, Ro is eager to dig in. The sword in the stone that comes with those items is clearly a joke. A well-made but obvious replica meant to be a conversation starter. Why anyone would think that belonged in the museum is beyond her, but she can’t resist taking a crack at it and finding out if she’s the chosen one. And as it turns out...she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Exquisite, a breath of fresh air
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 24
Ivy Morgan, Harper Harlow, Maddie Graves, and Rowan Gray are four mothers on a mission, all determined to keep their families safe. As a group, they work together to offer their various expertise on paranormal cases … always offering backup to each other and bolstering the bonds they’re determined to maintain. Four wonderful families, a multitude of colorful sidekicks, and a bevy of children with attitude join together to embark on a brand new adventure.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I wish I had gotten far enough to know.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Love this series!
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Stormy “Breeze” Morgan was living the high life until her dreams came crashing down around her and she lost her book contract. With nothing left to do—and no money in her bank account—she’s forced to return to the family business, a diner in Northern Lower Michigan. Stormy never thought she would have to work with her family again, and it’s just as horrific as she expected. Things only get worse when, after a night of drinking with her cousin, a family Ouija board leads to a burst of magic and Stormy wakes floating over her bed the next morning.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely Awful
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 152
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Scout Randall always considered herself a big-city girl. Then she got transferred to rural northern Lower Michigan by Spell’s Angels, the monster-hunting biker gang that’s been her sole reason for being since her tempestuous teenage years, and everything she thought she believed started to shift. This three-book omnibus includes: Bad to the Crone, No Crones About It, and No Crone Unturned.
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1 out of 5 stars
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a waste, poor reading and plot needs 0 star.
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 40,758
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 35,584
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 35,562
The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.
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5 out of 5 stars
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At long last!!
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De: Neil Gaiman, y otros
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Zombie Fallout: Zero
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 3,972
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Narración:5 out of 5 stars 3,654
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 3,630
Those who would seek a new world order have unleashed the most devastating virus onto mankind, and even they do not know the secrets hidden in their weapon. Follow along as Harry, a CDC scientist, races to figure out what exactly the virus is and how to stop it. It will be up to him and a group of marines led by Major Sanders to stop the zombie fallout before it ravages an unsuspecting world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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As usual Mark Tufo does not disappoint
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Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre A Fashionably Dead Christmas
Con calificación alta para:
Reseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Jeff
- 08-18-20
Love this series
This is my favorite vampire/demon series. This series has left me LOL through the whole thing and this book was no different. It's full of wit and snark that entertains. This series is very well written but the narrator really makes it great. Love her voice for the MC and she does great with the other characters as well. Can't wait for more. Very highly recommended.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- BigDogs
- 09-05-16
Ho Ho Ho
I never buy the short books in a series. Usually cost doesn't justify a 2 hour audio book. I too a chance on this one and am very glad I purchased it.
It it hilarious just like her others in this series.
This series is right up there with my other favorite groups of series by Molly Harper.
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esto le resultó útil a 5 personas
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Terri
- 03-11-20
So funny
Had me laughing out loud from beginning to end! I love Samuel and his new pet!!
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Stacie
- 09-08-16
Great Book!!
It was very entertaining to listen to. I've enjoyed every book that was written. Wonderful!
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Michelle
- 05-31-20
Adorable!
This was a fun little story of a family Christmas I can relate to! Ha ha!
The narration was excellent, with only a couple of words in one line that would not be easy to hear in a noisy environment. You'll still know what's going on, so don't let that stop you.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Crystalshannon1
- 09-23-19
absolutely hilarious
I so love this series. It is funny as hell and well worth the credit.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Heather
- 03-07-18
I love this series!
I love this author, I love this narrator, I love this series! I literally found myself busting out laughing multiple times.
My rating scale:
5☆ - I loved this book and it brought out true emotion in me (laughter, anger, a good cry, etc)
4☆ - I loved this book.
3☆ - I liked this book.
2☆ - I didn't really care for this book.
1☆ - I did not like this book at all and probably did not finish it.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 12-29-22
Laugh Out Loud Funny
Love Astrid and the whole gang for Christmas! So much fun and joyously good. Love this series!
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Cyn or Peter
- 05-17-20
funtastic
I just love this series. The Characters are hilarious. Looking forward to the next book.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- Rosa M
- 02-28-19
Funny Quicky
I thoroughly enjoyed the classic family fubar holiday short. As always the laughs and love was expertly written
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