A Dutiful Boy

A Memoir of a Gay Muslim’s Journey to Acceptance

By: Mohsin Zaidi

Narrated by: Mohsin Zaidi

Brought to you by Penguin.

Winner of the Polari First Book Prize, 2021

A coming-of-age memoir about growing up queer in a strict Muslim household. Like Educated with a modern British context.

Mohsin grew up in a deprived pocket of East London; his family was close-knit but very religiously conservative. From a young age Mohsin felt different, but in a home where being gay was inconceivable, he also felt very alone. Outside of home Mohsin went to a failing inner city school where gang violence was a fact of life.

As he grew up, life didn’t seem to offer teenage Mohsin any choices: he was disenfranchised as a poor brown boy, and he was isolated from his family as a closet gay Muslim.

However, Mohsin had incredible drive, and he used education as a way out of his home life and as a means to throw himself into a new kind of life. He became the first person from his school to go to Oxford University, and there he found the freedom to come out to his friends.

But Oxford was a whole different world with its own huge challenges, and Mohsin found himself increasingly conflicted. It came to a head when Mohsin went back to visit his parents only to be confronted by his father and a witchdoctor he'd invited to 'cure' Mohsin.

Although Mohsin's story takes harrowing turns, it is full of life and humour and ends inspiringly. Through his irrepressible spirit Mohsin breaks through emotional and social barriers, and in the end he even finds acceptance from his family.

Now Mohsin is a top criminal barrister who fights large-scale cases on a daily basis. Having faced battles growing up, he truly understands the importance of justice as a way of life.

©2020 Mohsin Zaidi (P)2020 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"The moving personal story of a gay Muslim's tribulations and triumphs at the interface of family, faith and freedom, told with great candour and eloquence." (Peter Tatchell)

"An incredibly hopeful, urgent and well told coming of age story about religion, class, and LGBTQ+ acceptance - no doubt reading it will save someone’s life." (Amelia Abraham)

"A beautifully written, heartrending story of a young gay man’s journey, liberation and love. A real page turner that sparks with humanity and hope." (Lord Michael Cashman)

Compelling personal story

This memoir was compelling and beautifully written (and beautifully read) from the first word to the last. The author deals so forthrightly with intersectionality, struggling and ultimately successfully marrying two integral parts of who he is. it is a very human story. Deeply personal, but wholly relatable. I found myself laughing in some parts and crying in others. Throughout the book, I felt the urge to give his younger self a huge hug and loving words of encouragement. I highly recommend it!

A Devastating, Necessary Memoir About Queer Survival

Mohsin Zaidi’s A Dutiful Boy is a devastating yet vital account of what it means to grow up gay in a world that tells you who you are is wrong.
While I knew LGBTQ+ people faced struggles, I never truly understood the depth of that pain until Mohsin’s story.
He spent years pleading with God to change him, even considering suicide when he ran out of options—all before he could begin to accept himself.

His raw honesty forced me to confront the heartbreaking reality so many gay people endure simply for existing.

This book isn’t just a memoir; it’s an act of compassion. Mohsin helps readers like me, who may never have fully grasped these struggles, see the human cost of intolerance. But more than that, it’s a lifeline for those who see their own pain reflected in his words.

I finished this book with one overwhelming thought: No one should have to live like this. The world needs to change—and stories like Mohsin’s are the ones that will help change it.

An important read for all

I'm grateful that my look into the Lambda Literary awards let me here to A Dutiful Boy by Mohsin Zaidi. This is an honest and loving story about a family learning how to navigate religion and sexuality. As someone two years younger than the author, and also from a religious family, this book was like talking to a friend. Thank you so much, Mohsin.

One of the best books you’ll ever read

Having grown up in a Muslim, Indian family, this book resonates in a way I can’t even explain. I wish I’d had Mohsin’s story to help me through high school when I really needed it.

Mohsin’s memoir is both intense and funny. He captures how south Asian culture leaves one in a difficult position of choosing between the obligations of the family versus the obligations to the self, and his way of navigating it.

This is the book every Muslim and every parent should read.

Really powerful!

It needs to be read by the queer community, especially among Muslim and Desi communities.