10 Things Your Husband Says After He Rapes You

A conversation about gaslighting, blame-shifting, and consent in marriage.

De: Jessica Ghigliotti

Narrado por: Virtual Voice

Does your heart feel pain while your body feels pleasure? Do you ever watch him get dressed, feeling confused about what just happened? Does the idea of sex come with a wave of guilt, or an uneasy feeling in your gut? Your marriage might be one of the millions missing a very important piece... Let’s sit down and have a talk about your ‘no.” Or rather, what you are likely to hear when your “no” isn’t respected.

Exposing the Underreported Problem of Partner Sexual Abuse

This book is a powerful and relatable read, although it may be triggering for some. I felt a deep connection to the author's words, as if I could have written them myself. The book accurately portrays the devastating reality of partner sexual abuse, which is not just 'bad sex' but a violent and abusive act. Reading this book was a validating experience for me, as it helped me realize that my feelings and reactions were not excessive or unfounded. The trauma of partner sexual abuse lingers deeply and can be incredibly painful. I highly recommend this book to both victims and abusers, as it offers a crucial understanding of this complex issue.

Validating

Unfortunately, I related to much of this book. It was not a husband who did and said these things to me, but a long-term boyfriend. I’m very grateful for this book helping me to understand and heal.

great ideas on how to make things more fun

if you want to understand how to make rape fun, lean from this book and remember that relying on social constructs alone (read: manipulation) isn't sustainable.

actually the opposite: don't make things personal all the time. don't try to manipulate you're behavior in a social way.

use rape as a way to love and really appreciate someone. don't excuse rape. rape is rape because you use excuses and try someone to agree with you. don't try that. don't try to have someone agree with you in a social way.

use rape (the action) as a way to appreciate and love someone. because you mean/meant it.