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Joseph

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  • reviews
  • 18
  • helpful votes
  • 185
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Monster
    
    
        By:
        












    





    





    
        
            
            
                
            
        
        Keith Ferrario
    
    


    
    
        Narrated by:
        












    





    





    
        
            
            
                
            
        
        Maxwell Glick
    
    


    
    Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
    12 ratings
    Overall 2.8
  • Monster

  • By: Keith Ferrario
  • Narrated by: Maxwell Glick
  • Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars 12
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars 11
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars 11

They’re the only humans. But they’re not alone. Adam Hayes pilots a small team to a remote Antarctic research station. Their mission: to investigate the loss of communications. Once there the group of five discover the station deserted, the radio smashed, and several strange piles of empty clothing. Forced to stay the night by a blinding snowstorm, they set out to solve the mystery of the missing crew. Eventually they will learn the horrifying truth - the station is not empty after all. Something unimaginable, dug up from the deep ice, roams the complex.

  • 2 out of 5 stars
  • A horror story read 'by' Lemony Snicket

  • By Joseph on 07-29-15

A horror story read 'by' Lemony Snicket

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-29-15

Totally inappropriate reading style and voicing for a horror story, this modest horror story isn't enhanced by the poor approach to it's narration. Note: Inhaling while voicing isn't creating a new character voice! Overall this book would have been OK if narrated well, but as is it's a one-read. My love of horror, especially in unusual environs led me to this book. But other than isolation there is no real use of the arctic environment. Too bad, as you can kill is so many cool ways in Antarctica, and usually get away with it.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Book of the Dead

  • By: Greig Beck
  • Narrated by: Sean Mangan
  • Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 510
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 470
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 465

Massive sinkholes are opening across the country – each larger and deeper than the previous one. First the family pets go missing, and anyone living near one of the pits, is reporting strange phenomena – the vibrations, sulphurous odours and strange sounds rising up from the stygian depths. Then come the reports of horrifying ‘things’ rising from the darkness.When the people start disappearing the government is forced to act.

  • 2 out of 5 stars
  • Memories of watching the SciFi channel at 4:00 AM

  • By Daniel A. on 05-01-15

More appropriate title Book of Boring You to Death

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 06-08-15

Very boring story. Too much drama and eye-winking. In fact, more of that then about any books, death, or creatures. Couldn't finish it by half, didn't keep it.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Swamp Monster Massacre

  • By: Hunter Shea
  • Narrated by: Michael Ray Davis
  • Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 56
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 54
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 54

Deep in the overgrown swamps of Florida, where humans rarely dare to enter, lives a race of creatures long thought to be only the stuff of legend. They walk upright but are stronger, taller and more brutal than any man. And when a small boat of tourists, held captive by a fleeing criminal, accidentally kills one of the swamp dwellers’ young, the creatures are filled with a terrifyingly human emotion - a merciless lust for vengeance that will paint the trees red with blood.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Better Than The Title Implies...Give it A Listen

  • By Kim Venatries on 12-19-13

Perfect match of awesome story and narration.

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-31-14

Michael has the perfect voice for the main character Rooster. Plenty of action, bodies, and monsters to keep this story going full speed the entire book. Easily one of those 'needs a sequel' books. Would easily rate this on the same ground as Peter Clines 14.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Evil Eternal

  • By: Hunter Shea
  • Narrated by: Seth Michael Donsky
  • Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 9
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars 9
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 9

Only one priest can battle the ultimate evil!

An evil as ancient as time itself has arisen and taken root in New York City. Father Michael, the mysterious undead defender of the Church, answers the call to action from the Vatican, while Cain, a malevolent wraith that feeds on fear and blood, has taken the life and form of the city's mayor and readies a demonic army to ignite the apocalypse.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • Can't handle narrator! I tried, seriously tried.

  • By Joseph on 05-31-14

Can't handle narrator! I tried, seriously tried.

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-31-14

Well, can't really say much about the story, as I couldn't handle the narrator. Seriously Hunter, you signed off on that guy? So I gave it a 3/5. The only other thing I can say about Seth is.. "Give me back my milk bottle!"

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Undead Situation

  • By: Eloise J. Knapp
  • Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
  • Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 474
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 420
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 421

When the end finally occurred, everything about it was cinematic. The dead came back and ate people, civilization collapsed, and no one could do a thing. But Cyrus V. Sinclair couldn’t care less; he’s a sociopath. Amidst the chaos, Cyrus sits back and contemplates the gore stained streets and screams of his fellow man with little more emotion than one of the walking corpses. With his cache of guns and MREs, he rather likes the idea of hunkering down in his Seattle apartment while the world ends outside.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Zombie Books ROCK.

  • By Fun Lovin Lady on 08-14-11

Average 'zombie book', nothing special.

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-11-14

This is more of a story of a guy who's life changes in a zombie world. Not a zombie book, as no special focus on zombies was uncovered. Just average zombie interaction with a couple explicit-to-shock gross, but silly, scenes. So what's the focus of this story? The plot? It's about the transition of a so-called sociopath into an empathetic survivor who suffers thru the change. Our main characters sociopathic behavior never really proves itself except thru his own words and confessions. Never really proved he was, just eluded he was. Killing a couple of kids, before you graduate high school, doesn't really swing the sociopath stamp-of-approval. Given the opportunity to prove him a sociopath, the author doesn't show it, he just tell us he is. Or rather, Knapp tells us by having Cyrus tell us that he is a mental deviant. Poor story telling.

The main catch of The Undead Situation, a sociopath in an undead world, runs dry after a couple chapters. Further story development, to continue the arc of 'finding the final home sweet home' to live out life in safety never really develops. It turns into rote character interactions with others survivors, the undead, and the now non-sociopath Cyrus. The remaining story scenes swing between boring and repetitious zombie scene's. I equated it to zombie elevator music. Noise (words) to break the silence while traveling up to the office (prepper's home sweet home).

What sealed the lid on this tomb were multiple obvious fallacies of the few who have survived the horror. They show themselves ridiculously incompetent. Example, the single town where a contingent of army troops travelling thru at the time of the fall, who secured it, just letting a triplet of out-of-the-blue travelers drive on in. All these travellers in a highly infections world had to do was have a ex-marine gal have a few words and give shake. No, let's not find out why there's a bleeder in the back seat of their Mustang. No, let's not have them physically examined before letting them in possibly the last compounds left on earth. Just a handshake is all that's needed to let them in. Yep, just a few words and a handshake are enough to prove the guy bleeding out in the back seat of the car is not bit and infected. That incompetent survivor camp story bit of writing broke it for me. There were several other more minor but similar sloppy story threads before and after, that makes it impossible to recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Hull Zero Three

  • By: Greg Bear
  • Narrated by: Dan John Miller
  • Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 164
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 108
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 112

A starship hurtles through the emptiness of space. Its destination — unknown. Its purpose — a mystery. Now, one man wakes up. Ripped from a dream of a new home — a new planet and the woman he was meant to love in his arms — he finds himself wet, naked, and freezing to death. The dark halls are full of monsters but trusting other survivors he meets might be the greater danger.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • very good sci fi thriller

  • By A. Alegria on 01-14-11

OK story, horrible performance.

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 09-07-13

Don't have a problem with Greg Bear, his stories have been solid. This is the first audiobook if his that I have gotten. Unfortunately I would have to review a Dan Miller book before I purchase another of his readings. His interpretation is overly dramatic and it skews the entire book. Might work for YA's but for SciFi is it way over the top. He seems to want to find a dramatic flair in almost every paragraph. Get over it dude! If you had a director or producer for this, they should be fired. If you didn't, get one. I'm at the three hour mark, and will likely abort the rest and use Audible return-book feature. Sorry I'm trying, we'll see.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Janissaries

  • By: Jerry Pournelle
  • Narrated by: Keith Szarabajka
  • Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 230
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 210
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 209

Captain Rick Galloway and his men had been talked into volunteering for a dangerous mission only to be ruthlessly abandoned when faceless CIA higher-ups pulled the plug on the operation. They were cut off in hostile territory, with local troops and their Cuban “advisors” rapidly closing in - and then the alien spaceship landed. Rescued from certain death, they now must fight another world’s war.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • relatively straight forward, entertaining

  • By Thomas on 01-09-15

Superb book now with superb presentation.

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 12-07-12

If you could sum up Janissaries in three words, what would they be?

Thanks much to Jerry and his Janissaries series. It has been a favorite of mine for decades. I was stunned to see it available on Audible, as Jerry was normally a 'non ebook' hold out. Very few of his works went to ebook format and abook format. So I snapped it up immediately when I saw it available on Audible. Keith Szarabajka's could NOT be topped. He rules in his presentation and reading. Not just a reader, he emotes (I mean that in a good way!) the characters in the book with great skill. I hope Keith will be able to keep on this series, along with the mysterious 4th sequel Mamelukes (Janissaries IV: Mamelukes (work in progress for fifteen years as of 2012).

Who was your favorite character and why?

Reluctant Captain Rick Galloway reminds me of our founding father George Washington. Recognizing the truth in developing a society with a know world shattering threat building at the border.

What about Keith Szarabajka’s performance did you like?

Superb!

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • The Burning Bridge

  • By: Poul Anderson
  • Narrated by: Pat Bottino
  • Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars 31
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars 14
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars 14

The Burning Bridge is the story of fleet of ships seeking to colonize a distant planet. The trip is so long that most of the 3,000 passengers are kept in cryogenic sleep. As the fleet approaches the point of no return it receives a short message from Earth which may change everything; but the few that are awake will not have to make a life altering decision for everyone.

  • 2 out of 5 stars
  • Great Story, but my ears hurt from the yelling.

  • By Joseph on 11-23-12

Great Story, but my ears hurt from the yelling.

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-23-12

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

I liked the story quite much. Had to get a hardcopy and read it to arrive at this state though. Unforunately PB's reading is horrible. Not a performance, nor a reading, but more like a yelling. Very mono-tone and quite staccato. Only worst production I would place this above would be F Paul Wilson's Sex Slaves production. Make sure to listen to the sample first, as that's about the peak you'll hear.

Would you recommend The Burning Bridge to your friends? Why or why not?

Yes, but not his audiobook version.

Would you be willing to try another one of Pat Bottino’s performances?

No.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful