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GermCrazy

Manlius, NY
  • 13
  • reviews
  • 37
  • helpful votes
  • 23
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  • Once upon an Apocalypse

  • Book 1 - The Journey Home
  • By: Jeff Motes
  • Narrated by: Holly Henrichs, Michael Stadler
  • Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 286
  • Performance
    3.5 out of 5 stars 263
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 262

Jill Barnes, a single mom, finds herself stranded on the side of Interstate 485 near Birmingham, Alabama. Jack Chance, a bank vice president, is stranded on Interstate 85 near Montgomery, Alabama. John Carter, a contractor, finds himself stranded near Leeds, Alabama. Each must travel home to Clarke County in rural southwest Alabama. Follow them as they each make their decisions and journey home while the fabric of American society is torn asunder and criminals run amok.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • I had fun with the book but there are flaws

  • By James D. Hurless on 01-15-16

You are reading a book right now...it's TERRIBLE!

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-06-17

Horrible attempt at using 2nd person narration. Very childish and the narrator only made it moreso by reading as if the intended audience was 2nd graders. MAY not have been so bad if it was just written in a standard 1st or 3rd person fashion. And that is a BIG "MAY"...

  • The Tao of Bill Murray

  • Real-Life Stories of Joy, Enlightenment, and Party Crashing
  • By: Gavin Edwards
  • Narrated by: Gavin Edwards
  • Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 138
  • Performance
    3.5 out of 5 stars 126
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 127

New York Times best-selling author Gavin Edwards, like the rest of us, has always been fascinated with Bill Murray - in particular the beloved actor's adventures offscreen, which rival his filmography for sheer entertainment value. Edwards traveled to the places where Murray has lived, worked, and partied, in search of the most outrageous and hilarious Bill Murray stories from the past four decades, many of which have never before been reported.

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • Had such potential, but never gets there

  • By CMfromCA on 10-21-16

Worst narrator, I think, EVER!

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-13-16

Any additional comments?

Is this the narrator's REAL voice or did he read through a harmonizer? It was so distracting and ridiculous. I can't stand writers who think they can do a better job than an actual voice actor.

Second, while I love Bill Murray and like to hear the silly, random stories about him, I can't believe the losers who have so little going on in their lives that they think they have FINALLY made it because Bill Murray (or any other celebrity) was generous enough to say hello or steal their cigarette on the street. Even worse are the people who sit around hoping and waiting for it to happen. We need to get a grip, people!

0 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Dexter Is Dead

  • A Novel
  • By: Jeff Lindsay
  • Narrated by: Jeff Lindsay
  • Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 744
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 690
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 689

Dexter is arrested on charges of murder. He has lost everything - including his wife, his kids, and the loyalty of his sister. Now completely alone, Dexter faces a murder charge (for a crime, ironically, he did not actually commit). His only chance for freedom lies with his brother, Brian, who has a dark plan to prove Dexter's innocence. But the stakes are deadly, and the epic showdown that lies in Dexter's path may lead, once and for all, to his demise.

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • A sorry end to a great series

  • By David on 08-23-15

I'm actually glad this series ended!

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 08-24-16

What disappointed you about Dexter Is Dead?

I can't stand the ridiculous sing-songy voice that the narrator gives to Dexter & Brian. It's ridiculous and annoying. That said, if the story was as good as some of the earlier ones I could have dealt with it. But it wasn't. It was horrible. I began reading/listening to the Dexter stories when Book 1 was actually released rather than after finding out about them from the show and I jumped in simply because I loved the idea of a vicious killer posing as a good guy. Now there are hardly any murders at all and Dexter has just turned into an idiot who thinks about little other than food. So stupid. Good riddance! At least I no longer have to wait anxiously for a year for each book to be released!!

What was most disappointing about Jeff Lindsay’s story?

Just a lot of hope. If he didn't do such a good job with the earlier stories I wouldn't have been so let down.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Jeff Lindsay?

He's a fine narrator, he just needs to lay off of the cheesy tones he gives Dexter & Brian.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

Not really.

  • The Neighbors

  • By: Ania Ahlborn
  • Narrated by: Fleet Cooper
  • Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 210
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 187
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 187

Welcome to Magnolia Lane. It’s not exactly a little slice of heaven, but in the backwater town of Creekside, Kansas, it’s the best a jobless supermarket clerk like Andrew Morrison can do. After sacrificing a normal childhood, a decent education, and true love to look after his alcoholic mother, he’s finally breaking free and living his own life — but in the squalid house he’s sharing with a former childhood friend, the living isn’t exactly easy. Plus, there’s something about the chipper, all-American couple next door that’s just downright creepy. However, that doesn’t keep Drew from accepting a job as their handyman — or surrendering to the wiles of perfect housewife Harlow Ward, a woman who always gets what she wants. Drew, like a string of hapless young men before him, doesn’t realize he’s dancing with a devil — one dressed to the nines in high heels and pearls.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • An excellent book to read and listen to

  • By Julie K. on 06-15-18

SOOOO SLLLOOOOWWW!

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-02-16

Is there anything you would change about this book?

Shorten it by half!

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

It had SO MUCH promise in the beginning. Then it just droned on and on. and ended exactly how you would guess it would.

Have you listened to any of Fleet Cooper’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

N/A

Was The Neighbors worth the listening time?

NO!

Any additional comments?

I prefer stories that do not have a supernatural element in them. I like stories that COULD happen. But I actually found myself WISHING that this one would end up pulling something like that (a monster, a demon, etc.) just to spice it up and make it more interesting. Instead I just kept waiting for something to happen and being let down. I fell asleep listening to it 3 nights in a row at the exact same spot. I couldn't even bear to listen to it by the end. I think writers like this one need to learn two things: a) not everyone is meant to write horror/suspense and b) not EVERY story has to be a novel! I would have been satisfied if this story was exactly the way it was IF it were only an hour or two long. But being nearly 8 hours long makes me DEMAND that it actually go somewhere!

  • Across America by Bicycle

  • Alice and Bobbi's Summer on Wheels
  • By: Alice Honeywell, Bobbi Montgomery
  • Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
  • Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 50
  • Performance
    3.5 out of 5 stars 43
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 40

Biking from Oregon to Maine is no small feat, especially for two newly retired women who carry everything they need for three months, powered only by the strength of their legs and a desire for adventure. Alice Honeywell and Bobbi Montgomery invite listeners to follow their ride by bicycle across the United States, as they face scorching sun, driving rain, buffeting winds, equipment failures, killer hills, wild fires, and even a plague of grasshoppers.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • What an experience - inspirational!

  • By Holly on 04-27-14

Does EVERYBODY have to write a book???

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 12-12-13

Did Rosemary Benson do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

She did a fine job of narrating.

Any additional comments?

Just because someone does something they are proud of or that others may wish they could do DOES NOT mean they should write a book about it! This book was SO BORING and literally there was not ONE MINUTE where I cared about what was happening. The book is split into sections describing each day and, as an example, by Day 5 (a full hour into the book) the only things that happened were 1) one of the ladies dropped her camera and they had to double back 5 miles and retrieve it and 2) the gear frame on one of the bikes came loose and made the ride a bit shaking for the rider until they made it into town and had it repaired. Unbelievably wasted time! The only reason I finished it was to see if ANYTHING happened to redeem the story...nothing did. I admire them for making the trip and achieving their goals but, again, a book was not required.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • A Few Seconds of Panic

  • A 170-Pound, 43-Year-Old Sportswriter Plays in the NFL
  • By: Stefan Fatsis
  • Narrated by: Stefan Fatsis
  • Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 115
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 60
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 61

Stefan Fatsis infiltrates a strikingly different subculture: pro football. After more than a year spent working out with a strength coach and polishing his craft with a gurulike kicking coach, Fatsis molded his fortyish body into one that could stand up - barely - to the rigors of NFL training. And over three months in 2006, he became a Denver Bronco.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Living a dream.

  • By Robert on 09-19-08

I hate this guy.

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-16-13

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

A different book written by a different guy, read by a different guy.

Would you ever listen to anything by Stefan Fatsis again?

No.

How could the performance have been better?

Get a professional narrator.

What character would you cut from A Few Seconds of Panic?

Stefan Fatsis.

Any additional comments?

I thought about asking for a refund about 6 times during this book only to continue on and give it just a little longer to see if it would get better. It didn't. It should have been named: "A few hours of bragging: A 43 year old guy gets a book deal by fooling the book company into thinking he was going to write about the REAL players only to use the experience to make himself feel like he could have been an NFL great if only he didn't wait until he was 43 years old to try."

At one point, after receiving tons of special treatment & assistance, he made a few field goals from the 35 yard line (without anyone trying to block him) and then went on to say how the rest of the team didn't do as well as he did that day! I couldn't believe my ears. What an arrogant (for no reason) little-man-syndrome-having jerk-off. Whenever something went his way he would brag about his innate athletic ability and whenever he'd be faced with reality (ie. not being able to perform as well as the others, being injured or sore) he would chalk it up to his age, his height, his weight, etc. So pathetic.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Profiler

  • My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths
  • By: Pat Brown, Bob A. Andelman
  • Narrated by: Pat Brown
  • Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars 90
  • Performance
    3.5 out of 5 stars 59
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 62

In 1990, a young woman was strangled on a jogging path near the home of Pat Brown and her family. Brown suspected the young man who was renting a room in her house, and quickly uncovered strong evidence that pointed to him - but the police dismissed her as merely a housewife with an overactive imagination. It would be six years before her former boarder would be brought in for questioning, but the night Brown took action to solve the murder was the beginning of her life's work.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • The Hero's Journey or Heroine's Journey

  • By Clydene on 06-29-10

Amazing...ly BAD!

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-05-11

Where to start?! Oh I know...I LOATHE THIS WOMAN! More of a know-it-all, conceded, snobby bitch I have never seen, despite having very little reason for being so. The sad part is that she took an interesting topic, a great story from her personal life & an opportunity to simply sit and simply tell tales of what she has seen during her "career" as a profiler and turned it into a platform to spew criticisms of every person, place or thing she has ever come in contact with. ALL schools are bad so she home schooled her kids and now they are the most amazing human beings on planet earth. Police have to pursue justice in a formal manner so she sees all cops as useless a-holes and, therefore, decides to save the world for us by amazingly teaching herself criminal profiling and striking out on her own like a superhero. A karate instructor puts on a class to help women defend themselves so, being a self-proclaimed karate master, she actually goes to the class just to belittle him in front of everyone by stating the OBVIOUS fact (to her anyway) that you CANNOT defend yourself against a sneak attack (then she proceeds to actually take over the class and shows everyone how to successfully defend against a sneak attack). She even criticizes other private investigators for treating their careers as a business and actually expecting to be paid for working their cases when they cannot guarantee that they can solve it! How she can question anyone's skills or intelligence when she allowed what I officially consider to be THE CRAZIEST PERSON EVER to move into her home and rent a room in order to keep her from having to go to work in order to home school her kids and (unfortunately I know this next part because she made it quite clear that she is brilliant for doing so) breast feed her children until 2 years old. You may wonder what that has to do with criminal profiling, but that is actually in the section in which she tells you why you are an a-hole for having your children sleep in separate beds from you and, even worse, have a life outside of their mommy and daddy. She even implies that because she did these things for her kids they are officially guaranteed a life free of rape, murder and horror (and, believe me, just as free of fun).

Here is my own twist ending: LISTEN TO THIS BOOK because the guy in the beginning is so crazy that it would be just plain funny if he weren't a murderer. Instead, hearing the stories about his antics makes you laugh to yourself while shaking your head but, trust me, they are still amazing stories to hear. The true laugh out loud part is that there is no way that someone naive enough to allow a guy like that to move in to their home as a tenant in the first place could EVER learn the common sense needed to do this job with any success. Either that or the whole field of profiling is B.S. Oh wait, she actually implies that it IS B.S. at several parts when she talks about other, REAL crimonologists like John Douglas and complains that there is NO WAY they could ever REALLY know what they say they know about individuals in their cases unless they are cheating and hiding the fact that they already knew the whole story BEFORE profiling the killers! That pretty much sums up my feelings about profiling after reading this one book on the subject so far, though I am sure this is only because SHE is an idiot. Therefore, I am on to John Douglas's Mind Hunter next to set things straight!

12 of 16 people found this review helpful

  • Gator A-Go-Go

  • A Novel
  • By: Tim Dorsey
  • Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
  • Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 276
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 180
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 181

That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break!It's been a long time coming, but they're at the party now - and you¹ll never look at a Frisbee the same way again. But trouble is brewing. After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes '80s is suddenly back in the news, along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge - except without the morals. And the mysteries continue to mount....

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Love Tim Dorsey

  • By Jonathan on 07-07-10

ONE WORD...

Overall
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 01-28-10

HORRIBLE! That could be describing the writing, the narration or the pain in my stomach after listening to this abomination. If you want Florida serial killers, stick with Dexter.

6 of 20 people found this review helpful

  • The Wildman of Kentucky

  • The Mystery of Panther Rock
  • By: Philip Spencer
  • Narrated by: O. H. Krill
  • Length: 2 hrs
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    2.5 out of 5 stars 5
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars 4
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars 4

In the heart of Kentucky there is an ancient and sacred ground known as Panther Rock. For many years tales of strange events have been reported but never investigated in full. Now, for the first time an intrepid group of explorers ventures into the unknown to discover the truth. Join the Reality Team of Special Investigators as they uncover new Bigfoot witnesses and historical tales. Journey with them into the dark woods of the Frazier Land and witness amazing paranormal and often terrifying events.

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • Utterly ridiculous.

  • By GermCrazy on 09-08-09

Utterly ridiculous.

Overall
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 09-08-09

I'd rate it ZERO if I could! There's not much to say other than: HORRIBLE! The only explanation for this book even being available publicly is that the author knows someone at the top of the "food chain" or paid someone off. The only thing worse than the writing is the hideous, worse-than-amateurish heavy metal guitar playing that separates each chapter. Skip this unless you have an urge to hear THE WORST audible title by far!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Needful Things

  • The Last Castle Rock Story
  • By: Stephen King
  • Narrated by: Stephen King
  • Length: 25 hrs and 11 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,934
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,603
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,602

A new store has opened in the town of Castle Rock, Maine. It has whatever your heart desires...if you're willing to pay the price. In this chilling novel by one of the most potent imaginations of our time, evil is on a shopping spree and out to scare you witless. Presented unabridged and read by the author.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Great book, but why the music?

  • By Andrew on 10-25-11

Unbelievably ridiculous!

Overall
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 08-03-09

I cannot believe that I was fooled into buying yet another Stephen King book despite being disappointed so many times before. The primary thing that gets me is the fact that I love how he crafts the characters and opens each story and the only reason I do NOT like them is he NEVER ends a story in a way that is even remotely believable or interesting ("horror" does not have to mean "fantasy" though it seems to for Stephen King). So while I finish every one of his books with "literary blue balls" after the first 25 hours of teasing finally leads to an anticlimactic end, I then spend the next month thinking about the potential the tale had and wondering if the next one may end better. Unfortunately, I haven't found that "one" yet! Not Bag of Bones, It, Duma Key, etc, etc, etc. Instead I had better make a simple mental note to my future self: Avoid all stories where the hero prevails because of his ability to either make shadow puppets (Needful Things) OR paint pictures that come to life (Duma Key) and most certainly run the other way if a story has a house that holds the evil spirits of dead people (Bag of Bones) because if those premises aren't stupid enough, the ending absolutely will be. Reviewers who gave this, or in my opinion any other Stephen King book, 4 or even 5 stars either needs to raise their standards significantly or seek help! If you ABSOLUTELY need to read a Stephen King book, get The Shining; while it also has some pretty ridiculous parts and premises, it is at least somewhat worthwhile based upon its premise (psychological thriller vs. fantasy).

5 of 50 people found this review helpful