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Jeffrey veals

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  • Satan's Harvest

  • Ed & Lorraine Warren, Book 6
  • By: Ed Warren, Lorraine Warren, Michael Lasalandra, and others
  • Narrated by: Will Damron
  • Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 316
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 279
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 280

When terrifying, bizarre things kept happening to a hard-working Massachusetts farmer, he did what anyone would do. First, he went to the local police chief. Then he went to his priest. And then he went to Ed and Lorraine Warren, the world's most famous demonologists, who investigated the Amityville horror and other terrifying cases of demonic possession. It was the Warrens who called in one of America's most renowned exorcists, Bishop Robert McKenna. What they all experienced is described in this book

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • very good story.

  • By Michele on 01-09-17

An....Okay Warren Story...

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 01-14-19

INITIAL THOUGHTS:

I still like to believe that the Warren stories are true; mind you, I do believe that this CAN happen to people, but I feel like the Warrens have made a career out of mainstreaming exorcisms. I understand that these things happen, but the Warrens seem to have profited from mental illness in SOME instances.

Now, I feel like some people are going to get mad at me for this view, which I never had before. The Warrens always explained that they don't take any money besides travel and such, but they have used these instances (where SOME have taken back their claims of being possessed or, in some instances, admitted to faking everything). I am NOT saying that this doesn't happen OR that the Warrens having done good, but I did start to doubt what some of the claims were that I've read in the Warren books.

SUMMARY:

Satan's Harvest follows the life of Maurice Theriault and his awful childhood as the oldest son of Phil Theriault. While Maurice loved his mother, Phil was an abusive, awful man, who beat and, although it wasn't directly explained, introduced Maurice at the age of thirteen to something wrong and something he knew he shouldn't be doing. After a particularly hard day, Maurice was heard screaming the words, "I'd rather work for the devil than for you!" over and over again. From that moment on, seemingly good things started to happen, but they were definitely not normal; later on as an adult, Maurice said, after doing a fete impossible for any one man, that he'd just "called on the spirits to help him" and that he'd "been doing it all his life." Ed and Lorraine Warren were called in after a little while when the local priest realized that this man was going to need more than prayers to free him from the grasp of whatever was afflicting him.

For weeks, they waited for the church to give approval for an exorcist, the local sheriff continued to make inquiries to put Maurice behind bars. Everything seemed be working against Maurice and his wife, Nancy. It took weeks and, from the time the first MAJOR instances happened, years for Maurice to receive some kind of help from the church.

REVIEW:

Satan's Harvest was actually one of the stories that I was most excited to hear about. I know I'd heard Maurice's name mentioned in other stories and his seemed so interesting. I will say that I found Maurice's story to be a little less than what I expected. I feel like the author of this particular installment wasn't as invested in the story. A lot of it seemed lazy and I was really looking forward to it.

As far as the narrator Will Damron is concerned and from the few novels I've heard him read, he is a SOLID narrative with a great gift. In 'Satan's Harvest,' he failed to inspire, terrorize, or even engage me in any way. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but this had, at least in some ways, a good story. I think he could've done so much better. Granted, I love Todd Haberkorn, who read the Warren Books 1-4. He's so good at these books, as well as others. I guess I'm comparing, but when you have similar stories, one is most likely going to be much better. While I normally give Mr. Haberkorn an A, I'm, unfortunately, going to have to give Mr. Damron a B. In other books, he's amazing, but he fell a little flat in this one for me.

Overall, for this installment, I'll give it a B-. It had redeeming qualities, but it was, in no way, as comparable as Gerard Brittle's 'The Demonologist.' Despite this, it is an entertaining read. I wouldn't advise anyone against it, but just know that there are better books out there. If you have a choice between 'Satan's Harvest' and 'The Demonologist," choose the latter, please!

  • The Demonologist

  • The Extraordinary Career of Ed and Lorraine Warren - The True Accounts of the Paranormal Investigators Featured in the film 'The Conjuring'
  • By: Gerald Brittle
  • Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
  • Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,897
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,643
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,634

If you think ghosts are only responsible for hauntings, think again. The Demonologist reveals the grave religious process behind supernatural events and how it can happen to you. Used as a text in seminaries and classrooms, this is one book you can't put down. For over five decades, Ed and Loraine Warren have been considered America's foremost experts on demonology and exorcism. With over 3,000 investigations to their credit, they reveal what actually breaks the peace in haunted houses. Don't miss the Warrens in the new blockbuster movie The Conjuring.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Scary fun.

  • By Cliff on 08-19-13

Best Book About the Warrens

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 01-08-19

This is the most compact and thrilling account I've read about the Warrens. The main thing I love about this book is the fact that Gerald Brittle, the author, is basically not there. I usually say it like this: think about a documentary being shot and you have no idea that the camera is there. All you hear is what's being said by Ed and Lorraine, with very sparse, relevant narration from the man interviewing or the man behind the camera. It is an amazing piece of literature that I think encapsulates a very important message: DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THAT CRAP!

I will say that there was a chapter or two toward the end that scared me so bad that I stopped in the middle of the story, tried to watch something funny on television, and still had nightmares all night long. I happen to go through sleep paralysis a few times a month and this was just such a night. I can't blame anyone but myself for that one though. I picked up this book willingly.

Anyway, there are several stories in this book that are told with perfect sincerity and enough information to where you get the picture, but aren't curious enough to go find out more. I feel like the more the everyday man finds out about these things, the easier it is to invite negative emotions/feelings and then invite spirits or other things to inflict horror on one's life.

Todd Haberkorn is one of my favorite narrators for this kind of work AND fiction as well. He really pulled off some of these voices like no other person could. The only thing I would've changed were some of the animal noises in one of the chapters. I would've preferred it just to be a narration of "pig sound" or "dog barking." Other than that, Mr. Haberkorn was amazing and he gets a solid A for this performance.

To me, this is the best Warren book that I've read and I'm going to give it a solid A. It was such a great story and kept me interested. It reads like a novel, but has the added impact of being true accounts. It's definitely something that is so crazy to have been originally published in 1980. I commend Gerald Brittle and the Warrens on this amazing work!

  • The Silence

  • By: Tim Lebbon
  • Narrated by: Marisa Calin, Ralph Lister
  • Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 51
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 49
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 49

In the darkness of a vast cave system, cut off from the world for millennia, blind creatures hunt by sound. Then there is light, there are voices, and they feed. Swarming from their prison, they multiply and thrive. To scream, even to whisper, is to summon death. Deaf for many years, Ally knows how to live in silence. Now, it is her family's only chance of survival. They must leave their home, shun others, and find a remote haven where they can sit out the plague. But will it ever end? And what kind of world will be left?

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • loved it

  • By Dreamer on 11-24-18

Unfortunately, Less Than What You Expect....

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 12-15-18

INITIAL THOUGHTS:

Alright friends, Audible and Goodreads friends,
I will try to remain as civil and non-harsh as I can for this. I was so excited for this book, because it is the exact kind of story that I LOVE. Post-apocalyptic. Scary Creatures. Horror. All the rest. I wanted to like this book so bad, and the beginning held so much promise.

SYNOPSIS:

The story goes back and forth between two different characters: Ally and Hugh. I can't remember if it says how old Ally is, but I would guess she's between the ages of 15 and 17. Huge is her father and is merely a middle aged man trying to protect his family. The story starts out with Ally watching a Discovery Channel documentary about a caving expedition happening in Moldova. Ally, from an accident when she was younger that killed her paternal grandparents, is now deaf in both ears, although she can speak. The channel is explaining how covers are going down into a cafe systems that has never ben gone into before this day. After dinner, Ally comes back up and, with utter horror, realizes that there are creatures flying out of the cave; these creatures, soon discovered, are blind, hunt only by sound, have some sort of radar that lets them fly without running into things, and are able to communicate when food is available.

Hugh, who is on a business trip, sees the same thing on television and believes that it is nothing more than a prank. After seeing a few people at breakfast the next day, acting as though this is something to be taken seriously, Hugh packs up that day and heads back to join his family.

After careful thinking and planning, Hugh decides that the best course of action is to go to his parents old house in Scotland, which is a remote and sparsely populated area. The rest of the book follows their journey to this area and what becomes one of the most nerve-racking the troublesome times of the family's life.

REVIEW:

POSITIVES: Tim Lebbon is a brilliant writer and I found him to be engaging and wonderful. His characters were drawn very well and I believed all of them to be dynamic and real. Ally, especially, was one of the most well-developed I saw in the entire book.
(There are more positives, but I want to get to what this book needs in the change department)

NEGATIVES: I found the storyline after they lost the vehicles to drag on so slowly that I wasn't very interested. Also, the Hushed, who follow The Reverend, could've been such a great tool to use to instill fear int he reader. Honestly, I found these characters to be "eh. There should've been more happening with them. And, Mr. Lebbon, come on--you know there was room for another one hundred pages AT LEAST! It ended so abruptly that I was like, "Wait, what? What happened? There could've been so much more--there was SO MUCH more story to tell and I'm so sad it didn't get done.

RATING:

The book will receive a solid B rating from me, because of how good the writing was. If the writing was sub-par or even just okay, it would probably get a C+ from me.

As far as Narration, Marisa Calin is a straight of A for me (5 Stars). She is such a gifted narrator and I will definitely be looking for other books she's participated in. With Ralph Lister, it's not that I hated him, but I didn't find him to be as engaging as Ms. Calin. He just didn't have the exact skill that I like in a narrator; For Mr. Lister, he will receive a B- from me, because he did a decent job, but it could've been better.

I guess read the book if you've read Lebbon before and like his style. I, personally, haven't gotten too much into him, but I think I might try to read on of his novelization of film books. Those can always be a fun read!

  • This Will Only Hurt a Little

  • By: Busy Philipps
  • Narrated by: Busy Philipps
  • Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,682
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars 2,451
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,433

Busy Philipps’ autobiographical audiobook offers the same unfiltered and candid storytelling that her Instagram followers have come to know and love, from growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona, and her painful and painfully funny teen years to her life as a working actress, mother, and famous best friend. Busy is the rare entertainer whose impressive arsenal of talents as an actress is equally matched by her storytelling ability, sense of humor, and sharp observations about life, love, and motherhood. Her conversational writing reminds us what we love about her on screens of all sizes.

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • I wanted to like it so much...

  • By Amy Isbell on 10-18-18

It's no Bossypants, BUT.........

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
4 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-27-18

This is no Bossypants, but it is a solid, wonderful, sad, funny, and relatable story by a very talented, yet underrated, actress.

I first took notice of Busy VERY LATE in her career. The first time I really knew who she was was in Cougar Town and then I started to notice that I had, indeed, seen her before. (Oh wait, White Chicks, I remember that movie! Um... oh yeah! That random episode of Dawson's Creek! And, oh, Don't Trust the B____ in Apartment 23, that's Busy Philipps in that one episode!) It was actually so cool to learn about her prior work and I do think it'll be interesting to revisit her work that I haven't seen.

Busy was born and raised in Scottsdale, Arizona, which I found to be particularly cool, because I am from Arizona as well. She had some interesting parents and I loved her mother and the voice she attached to her. Busy acted and did school things, but she also got started by playing the live doll version of Cher, Alycia Silverstone's character from 'Clueless.' From then on, it was getting agents, jobs, not getting jobs, and all the rest that comes from being an actress. The reader also discovers the human part when she shares her story about rape and her realization that it wasn't simply sex...she was taken advantage of. There are later exploits taken by men in the entertainment world, from high up people to her ex-boyfriend who took advantage of a movie idea they came up with together. They wrote out ideas and reasons why two men would have to skate together, which would eventually become the Will Ferrel movie 'Blades of Glory.' However, not before she was totally taken out of the writing process and then told that it would 'look better' if her name was not attached to the script.

Later on, we learn about Busy's family now and how hard it was being part of a career so promising, yet in a medium that is so sexist and terrible; then, her family seems to be on shaky ground and she fears the impending separation from her husband that would ruin her two daughters.

Overall, this book is insightful, well-written, engaging, aware of its flaws, and so much more. While, I don't believe it to be as good as Tina Fey's 'Bossypants,' I think it's a solid...ahem... memoir (I know, naughty word, but I don't know what else to call it). I'm going to give the book a well-deserved A- for its wonderful story from an extremely talented person. As far as narration, I can't say much besides that it was supposed to be read by the author; no other narrator could encapsulate the story and be as realistically emotionally as Busy was for her own book. I did, at times, want to reach out and give Busy a hug, because the reader just sees how she felt at all of these moments in the book. I don't think every person can do that, even with their own story, so it was just amazing to see from the author.

LOVE YOU BUSY! AMAZING JOB ON THE BOOK!

  • Strong Ending

  • A Journey from Combat to Comedy
  • By: Audible Originals
  • Narrated by: Mary-Louise Parker
  • Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
  • Original Recording
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 5,672
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 5,081
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 5,065

It’s always hard to make the crowd laugh - especially when joking about war, PTSD, and mental health. Strong Ending follows three military veterans as they attempt to turn their most painful stories into laughs by participating in a stand-up comedy boot camp. After joining the military, deploying to combat zones, and coming home fundamentally changed, Michael Garvey, Isaura Ramirez, and Patrick Harth challenge themselves to share their stories on stage and perform original stand up-comedy about their experiences for a packed house. 

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Favorite Member Selection so far

  • By Amazon Customer on 11-07-18

Absolutely Inspiring!

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-12-18

I don't know much about PTSD, but I have panic attacks and anxiety. That's really besides the point, because I am going to come at this one like I know nothing (which is closer to the truth). It made me have joy in my heart that these Veterans, victims of injuries, PTSD, and other things, have found a true light in being able to share his/her experiences on the mic in front of people and get a laugh.

Mary-Louise Parker did a fabulous job narrating, Maria Bamford is an incredible comic, so I'm always glad to hear her, and the Veterans were so funny and inspiring. This is something you should not miss. It is so inspiring!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Bird Box

  • A Novel
  • By: Josh Malerman
  • Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
  • Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 4,738
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 4,363
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 4,357

Something terrifying that must not be seen. One glimpse and a person is driven to deadly violence. No one knows what it is or where it came from.Five years after it began, a handful of scattered survivors remain, including Malorie and her two young children. Living in an abandoned house near the river, Malorie has long dreamed of fleeing to a place where her family might be safe. But the journey ahead will be terrifying: 20 miles downriver in a rowboat blindfolded with nothing to rely on but Malorie's wits and the children's trained ears. One wrong choice and they will die. And something is following them....

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Masterful book paired with outstanding narration

  • By S. Yates on 10-09-17

INCREDIBLE!

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-08-18

Josh Malerman has created something so spectacular with this book that I could hardly stop talking about it, despite no one near me knowing the story.

SYNOPSIS:

Malorie is a twenty-something woman who becomes pregnant right as the world seems to descend into an apocalyptic mess. Something, be it creatures, radio waves, or something else is causing those who see it to quickly dive into a hysterical madness. Some just kill themselves and some kill those around them and then take their lives. Malorie and her sister Shannon cover their windows and hide from the outside until one day, Malorie hears a loud thump upstairs and finds her sister dead.

Having read an advertisement by a man named George, welcoming anyone who needed safety to come to his house. She'd read this months earlier, but hoped it would be something that could help her. She drove, hiding her eyes as much as she could, to a town twenty minutes away. When she arrives, she is brought in and meets Tom, Cheryl, Don, Felix, and Jules. This group of people have been there since the beginning of the epidemic to a few weeks later. They have a limited food supply in the basement and a well outside so that they will always have water.

Intertwining that story is the future, four years later, where Malorie is by herself with two children whom she refers to as boy and girl. At this time, she is finally going to go onto the river that is behind the house a ways, make her way down, and go to a mysterious destination not let on. She does say that it should be a safer place for her and her children.

These two storylines intertwine and rely on each other to make the story go ahead and make the reader sink deeper and deeper into a world beyond horrifying.

REVIEW:

Josh Malerman happens to be a ridiculously talented writer and I was so impressed by his work that I am going to check out his other pieces of fiction. The story was so well-paced that I felt like I was feeling so many of the things that Malorie felt. Most of the characters were amazingly developed, especially Malorie, Tom, and a few others. Honestly, this book made me so tense that it might take a few days for my shoulders to stop hurting.

Cassandra Campbell is a solid narrator, but I do find her to be a bit stilted in some parts. I think she did an amazing job with this novel, so I am going to give her a B+. Solid work.

I'm going to give Bird Box by Josh Malerman a solid A, because it was just that insanely amazing that I am so glad I gave it a second chance. (I owe the movie trailer for that one) If you read this book, you will be entranced from beginning to end and find a fear you didn't know could exist...

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • 30 Days of Night

  • By: Steve Niles, Ben Templesmith, R. S. Belcher (adaptation)
  • Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla, Mark Boyett, Kevin T. Collins, and others
  • Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 1,253
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 1,176
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 1,174

An all-new, full-cast dramatization of the classic graphic novel. The isolated town of Barrow, Alaska, is plunged into darkness for a month each year when the sun sinks below the horizon. As the last rays of light fade, the town is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires bent on an uninterrupted orgy of destruction. Only Barrow's husband-and-wife sheriff team stand between the survivors and certain destruction. . By the time the sun rises, will they pay the ultimate price - or worse?

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Well done.

  • By Dan on 11-06-17

Right in Between What Everyone Else is Saying

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-04-18

I actually pre-ordered this audiobook when it came out and then realize that it was barely over an hour. There was no way that I was going to use a whole credit for just one hour. The cash price was also outrageous, so I just decided there was no point. Luckily, last week it went on sale as the book of the day for one dollar and I was able to get a good deal.

I've read some of the other reviews and most seem positive, but there are some that were highly critical. I'm just right there in the middle where I enjoyed myself immensely, but I could also see the flaws that the others were talking about. The chewing and feeding sounds were a little ridiculous and a few other things. I absolutely LOVE Kevin T. Collins, so I was glad he was the voice of one of the main characters. The main thing that I would like to see changed is the audiobook being longer. I feel like, even though it was based on a graphic novel, they could've added more OR combined two graphic novels? Honestly, I'm just hoping they decide to do more! I had a lot of fun listening to this one.

So, as far as ratings go, I'm going to give the storyline a B- and then the narration an A-, possibly B+. The narration gets a possible high B grade, because the gnawing and other things like that were a bit lame.

Honestly, if this book is on sale or you can get it for cheaper than normal, do it! But nothing is worth full price for just one hour.

  • Lullaby

  • By: Jonathan Maberry
  • Narrated by: Scott Brick
  • Length: 37 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 16,539
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 15,156
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 15,167

A young couple buys a beautiful house by a picturesque lake in the Catskills, looking to escape the bustle of the city to raise their newborn baby. It is a perfect place for a fresh start. Except that nothing is ever as perfect as it seems. As autumn nights close in around their home, they learn that darkness takes many forms. And sometimes that darkness is hungry. New York Times best-selling author Jonathan Maberry delivers an unsettling Audible Original that will give listeners the Halloween creeps all year round.

  • 2 out of 5 stars
  • I guess there’s a reason it’s free

  • By Katie Washington on 10-05-18

Maberry Can and HAS done Better.

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-15-18

This short story follows a couple that has moved into a house, with an eerie warning from the realtor that said it is said to be haunted. The realtor assures them that it is just something they have to say and that things go bump in the night. Basically, that people get scared and overreact. Well, after this event, they move in, despite Gillian's objections and fears that this haunting might be real. With a baby on the way, Matt thinks that it might be hormones, but Gillian feels like a mother bear protecting her child.

The story continues with harmless, yet escalating scary things happening around the baby that Gillian has now given birth to. Things steadily get worse and worse. Gillian, insistent the entire time, begs Matt to move out, but with all the money in renovations, it seems like a bad idea and a huge loss of money.

REVIEW:

Honestly, I think that if this was about to be an hour long, it would've been just slightly better. Everything was rushed and there weren't very many scary things that happened besides one or two things. I think Maberry is an absolute genius in telling stories of horror, so this one was a serious disappointment. So, I'm going to give the story itself a C and the narration an A+. I've loved Scott Brick ever since Jonathan Cronin's 'The Passage' series, so I will always love his narration! This particular audible original I got for free, so I'm not saying it was the worst thing ever. However, I would be angry if I had paid for it (even if I only paid $2 or something).

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Maw

  • A Novel
  • By: Taylor Zajonc
  • Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
  • Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 13
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 12
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 12

Milo Luttrell finds himself in the midst of an expedition into the largest underground system in Africa, helmed by a brash billionaire turned exploration guru and his elite team of cavers. It's a once-in-a-lifetime chance to finally solve a century-old disappearance of the famed explorer Lord Riley DeWar, an enigmatic figure who both made - and nearly ruined - Milo's fledgling career. But when a storm hits the surface base camp, stranding the cavers and washing away supplies, all communication to the outside world is lost. 

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • A Psychedelic Thriller of Man Vs. Nature

  • By G. Allen on 09-25-18

I just.. I just... I just don't know...

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 09-08-18

If you look at my reviews, you can see that my favorite book of 2018 is 'The Anomaly' by Michael Rutger. I won't describe the details of that book, because this is about 'The Maw.' The only reason why I mention it is because it's about an expedition to find something and both teams get stuck in caves. When I read the summary for this book, I knew that I had to have it and couldn't wait to get started. I was even halfway done with one of Jonathan Maberry's book and I still switched. I wouldn't say that this book was a TOTAL letdown...just a minor letdown.

SUMMARY:

Milo, a professor at Georgetown University, is invited on a caving expedition funded by a very rich man named Dale. Milo's role in this is having staked his career on the mysterious disappearance of Lord Riley De'War (spelling may not be accurate). It made and ruined his career at the same time. When he is flown mysteriously to Africa and taken to meet Dale, it's revealed that Dale has discovered De'War's map to the super cave they are going into, instead of the most common theory that his team tried to climb one of the unclimbable mountains of the early 20th century.

As they descend, everything is going find and they explore different areas, with a team up at the top lowering down supplies. They discover a large cavern, filled with water that has a mysterious golden light far beneath the surface that no one can explain. After this, an incredibly horrific rainfall hits the surface and the camp is destroyed, one of the members of the team is missing, and much of their supplies gone. After this everyone starts exhibiting strange abilities, photographic memory being one of them. As the supplies dwindle and the team exhibits more and more strange phenomena, Milo and Bridgette, the medical doctor and former girlfriend of Milo, wonder if they'll ever make it out alive.

REVIEW:

I'll be quick about the review process this time, since I've already written a ton of summary. I found the first chunk of this book (before the rainstorm) to be incredibly boring and I was just waiting for that storm to make things go haywire. Then, when the storm hits, nothing seems to be communicated as desperate besides a few things here and there. Plus, nothing that crazy happens to the team besides the photographic memory and a few other things. I guess I mentioned 'The Anomaly' because that book had SO much going on once they entered the cave part of their expedition, where the team from this book didn't. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I found the book to be a tad boring.

RATING:

I'm going to give the novel a B-, which is a much better grade than a 2 star book normally gets. There are moments of interest, but they are few and far between. I think there are some people who may LOVE this book, but I'm just not one of them; however, I want to be fair and give it a grade that it deserves. Zajonc is an incredible writer, so the skill is there; he just needs a better story to go on.

The narration is going to receive a B+, because I didn't find him to have much range. However, he was very clear and didn't try to do the fake feminine voice in order to portray a woman. Neil Hellegers would probably be better at reading a nonfiction book instead of a novel. That's just my opinion, because he did do a decent job. I just think that he'd be great at narrating a book that is nonfiction with dry facts. He'd really bring those words to life.

1 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World

  • By: David Spade
  • Narrated by: David Spade
  • Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 4,675
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 4,346
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 4,330

Written and performed for the Audible experience, Spade’s new comic memoir takes listeners along for the sometimes embarrassing and always hilarious ride of getting older in our fleeting “Snapchat World”. 

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • Free on Spotify

  • By restaurantattorney on 08-12-18

Funny, Disturbing, and Crude, but LOVED IT!

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
4 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 08-23-18

HEADER: It seems that when I like a book, I get "helpful" votes and when I don't like a book, I get "not helpful" votes. I don't understand this and I never will, but just know that I'm not going to like every book you're going to like. Also, if you happen to love the book and I dislike it, that doesn't mean my review didn't help you. Did it not give you an alternate perspective? Thanks---J. Veals

David Spade is super funny and I've always liked him in his solo movies, as well as his group or duos. My favorite, of course, is Tommy Boy with Chris Farley, rest in peace. So, I thought this book was going to be really funny and....


It was! Obviously, this book is only in audiobook form, so I don't know there's a way to judge his prose or writing in anyway; however, that's the beauty of having a book done by a comedian: they're good at speaking! I wouldn't have had it any other way.

The idea for the book was clear and made sense throughout the arc of the audio. Honestly, I don't think David Spade seems old enough to be a "Polaroid Guy." I would think he'd be more of a "Disposable Camera Guy," but then again, I always think he's so much younger than he is. He does mention his age a TON in this book, but he's about ten years younger than my own parents, so I don't really find him to be crazy old, because I don't think my parents are that old.

So, favorite part of this book is ALL of the stories about Mr. Spade's "Plus One," code named Stevie. He says he picked the name because he felt he didn't know anyone named Stevie and blah blah. Oh my goodness, though, this guy is a train wreck and Spade's stories about him were spectacular! Reader of this review: GET THE BOOK JUST TO SEE WHAT HE DOES TO NICOLE KIDMAN!!! PLEASE! But, in all seriousness, this book was plenty of fun and I enjoyed it a lot. He did a great job with narration and the book had plenty of stories to make you cringe, laugh out loud, etcetera.

My only wish is that there was a PG-13 version of this book for my father. In the mid-nineties, my dad sat next to David Spade on an airplane and, since my dad is way chill and would never get star-struck ever, they had a nice little chat about how my dad was a big fan of Tommy Boy and whatever else they talked about. Ever since then, my dad has had this kind of one-way kinship with the actor and, honestly, I would to if that'd happened to me. He's just a fan, basically. My dad is way to...conservative...and when I say conservative, this has nothing to do with politics. My parents are just conservative people. They don't drink, smoke, gamble, or do anything illegal. They are just like that. So, some of Spade's raucous stories would be a little much for my dad.

Me, however, loved his disgusting stories and his smart quips. I thought the book was well-paced and I LOVED that it wasn't especially long. A lot of celebrities seem overindulgent in their memoirs or bio books and it drives me crazy. Spade's just the type of celebrity I LOVE reading about.

"A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World" is going to get a B+ from me as a book and Spade's narration is going to get a solid A.