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Jasmine Wahlberg

Pennsylvania, USA
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  • Dead Men Can't Complain and Other Stories

  • By: Peter Clines
  • Narrated by: Ralph Lister, Ray Porter
  • Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,275
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,207
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,199

Including three never-before-published stories, Dead Men Don't Complain is the first-ever collection of short fiction by Peter Clines, author of 14, The Fold, and other Audible smash hits. Combining equal parts geekery and humor with the occasional dash of horror, Dead Men Don't Complain is ideal for Clines fans eagerly awaiting his next novel - or for brand-new listeners discovering this Audible favorite for the first time.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • It was over too soon

  • By Amazon Customer on 06-01-17

Little Twilight Zone-like stories...

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
4 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 09-04-18

Being a big fan of The Twilight Zone and authors like the inimitable Ray Bradbury, I like this book of short, creep-inducing tales. This book has humor and just a tiny bit of the eerie, and I scarfed it down like a bowl of ice cream.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Elantris

  • By: Brandon Sanderson
  • Narrated by: Jack Garrett
  • Length: 27 hrs
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 12,335
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 10,198
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 10,252

Once the godlike rulers of the capital of Arelon, the inhabitans of Elantris have been imprisoned within themselves, unable to die after the city's magic failed years ago. But when a new prince falls victim to the curse, he refuses to accept his fate.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • What if your body could never heal?

  • By Lore on 09-12-13

A little extra crunchy...kolo?

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 09-04-18

tl;dr: Too much politicking and filler, too little character development for me

I both liked and felt indifferent to this book. It's definitely a "listen at 1.5x" kind of book (the narrator tends to drag). The story has a lot of clever ideas. It suffers a bit from repetition and wordiness. I found that the characters were a little one-dimensional, to be frank -- no one really goes through any personal development; the closest you get is one of the "villains," who never really was one in the first place. Every character is pretty much exactly as advertised. The princess is headstrong and intelligent, so much so that "no man wants her" in her spinster age of 25. The prince is smart and kind and everyone loved him, and of course he turns around and does in two months what no one thought to do in a level decade in Elantris because he's automatically awesome (and to this moment, I still can't really think of a reason why). It's that sort of thing all the way down. If you're in it for a tale about characters, I don't think this is your book. If you like tales of politics and intrigue, with an interesting take on a magic system thrown in, this will do it for you. I mean this as no criticism for people who adore this book; it just wasn't my favorite. It was worth a listen, but I won't be going back.

  • Willful Child

  • By: Steven Erikson
  • Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
  • Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 551
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 514
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 515

These are the voyages of the starship A.S.F. Willful Child. Its ongoing mission: to seek out strange new worlds on which to plant the Terran flag, to subjugate and if necessary obliterate new life-forms, to boldly blow the... And so we join the not-terribly-bright but exceedingly cock-sure Captain Hadrian Sawback and his motley crew on board the Starship Willful Child for a series of devil-may-care, near-calamitous and downright chaotic adventures through "the infinite vastness of interstellar space".

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • If Zap Brannigan were as intelligent as Picard.

  • By Ohtochooseaname on 11-13-14

Ridiculous, but so is the source, to be fair

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-13-18

What you see is what you get: it is a patently, blatantly ridiculous send-up of Star Trek -- mostly original series, but there seemed to be a few nods to TNG as well. I'm not familiar with this writer's other work, but this seemed like an indulgence for him. There is an uncomfortable amount of trope lobbed at you in this book, but I suspect that's the entire point and I should not judge it too harshly on that. If you're relaxed about that, it is pretty funny in most places.

The narrator was total gold for this, though. I thought he nailed the voice of the doctor, and his rendition of the slobbery aliens must have been exhausting.

All in all, worth a listen. Despite being a big ST fan, though, I think I've had my fill of this and probably won't be interested in the follow-ups.

  • Hell Ship

  • By: Philip Palmer
  • Narrated by: Gideon Emery, Tim Gerard Reynolds, Bianca Amato
  • Length: 14 hrs and 30 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars 23
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 18
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 19

A prolific writer for film, television, and theater, Philip Palmer here delivers a science-fiction thriller that rockets along from blistering start to fiery conclusion. A juggernaut striking fear into the hearts of planets that fall within its path, the Hell Ship mercilessly slaughters innocents as it travels through space, amassing slaves. But one slave, Sharrock, refuses to accept his shackles—and his cause is soon to be boosted by Jak, who’s following the ship and determined to destroy it for its crimes.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • A Very different kind of story!

  • By Dennis on 11-08-12

Somehow unsatisfying...

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-13-18

First, the good: The three narrators are top-notch and do a very good job with their respective parts to play. The concept is interesting and the writing itself is fine. The writer seemed to use this book as an excuse to construct a litany of crass insults, and it's (unintentionally?) hilarious to hear them. The writer also had a lot of interesting ideas about how the Hell Ship worked and the biologies of the races within it.

The not-so-good: It takes an excruciating amount of time to draw one of the characters into the story involving the other two, and just when you do...it sort of immediately becomes irrelevant. I get that life isn't fair and everything, but I feel like Tim Gerard Reynold's part was superfluous in the end. The ending also felt rushed and even though it's probably a happy ending, it felt deeply unsatisfying on a lot of levels.

Prose was fine, actors were fine, story was a bit of a hot mess in places.

  • Traitor's Blade

  • Greatcoats Series, Book 1
  • By: Sebastien de Castell
  • Narrated by: Joe Jameson
  • Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,018
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 941
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 940

The King is dead, the Greatcoats have been disbanded, and Falcio Val Mond and his fellow magistrates Kest and Brasti have been reduced to working as bodyguards for a nobleman who refuses to pay them. Things could be worse, of course. Their employer could be lying dead on the floor while they are forced to watch the killer plant evidence framing them for the murder. Oh wait, that's exactly what's happening. Now a royal conspiracy is about to unfold in the most corrupt city in the world.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Fun Adventure Fantasy

  • By Scott Simons on 06-19-18

A little too ridiculous

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-13-18

My impression of this book was that the author had a lot of interesting ideas for Disney movie-style fight scenes and needed a way to tie them all together, so he looked to nab the primary storyline of The Three Musketeers. I went in expecting a little of that, given the reviews, but I came away still a bit disappointed.

I'm fine with some ridiculousness in my fantasy -- weird fighting styles, trashy magic gimmicks, whatever -- but this had me cringing in places. All the good guys are supremely virtuous; all the bad guys are puppy-kicking evil. There's really no doubt or mystery. The story played out like a boss fight corridor, to the point where I lost my attention span when half of the new threats came into play out of nowhere. (Really, I didn't even go back to figure out when or how the fear poison assassins showed up. I just sort of accepted they were going to suddenly be a thing. And I know that's a sign that I've disconnected with the story.)

I did enjoy some things about this book. I mean, I did finish it, so there was some merit. I'm not really inspired to continue with the series, though.

All that said, I thought the narrator did a good job, so at least there's that.

I don't like giving mediocre reviews, but I have to be honest. This series just doesn't speak to me in the way I hoped it would. Good luck!

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Lost Fleet: Dauntless

  • By: Jack Campbell
  • Narrated by: Christian Rummel, Jack Campbell
  • Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 8,773
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 7,048
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 7,083

Captain John "Black Jack" Geary's legendary exploits are known to every schoolchild. Revered for his heroic "last stand" in the early days of the war, he was presumed dead. But a century later, Geary miraculously returns from survival hibernation and reluctantly takes command of the Alliance fleet as it faces annihilation by the Syndics.

Appalled by the hero-worship around him, Geary is nevertheless a man who will do his duty. And he knows that bringing the stolen Syndic hypernet key safely home is the Alliance's one chance to win the war. But to do that, Geary will have to live up to the impossibly heroic "Black Jack" legend.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • A Great Start To A Space SciFi Series

  • By breckoz on 12-15-12

Cool premise, craves some editing

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-31-18

I thought this book had an interesting burden placed on the main character, in trying to live up to his "legendary hero" status that the beleaguered navy around him is clinging to. In that, I think the main character sort of worked -- although I do wonder exactly how someone who wasn't even a captain previously is suddenly ace at playing fleet admiral.

I even found it far-fetched, but somewhat believable, that a century of war has decayed the chain of command in this navy and made basic strategy "lost lore," so the old commander's tactics look like voodoo magic to these young pups.

What really got to me was honestly the writing for anything that wasn't a battle scene. So much repetitive phrasing (I get it, heat == angry!), so much telling exactly what a character must be thinking that sort of belittles the audience's intelligence, so much wasted exposition. I cringed a bit more than I wanted to, let me put it that way.

The narrator was very appropriate for the story; he gave a believable voice to the main character.

I picked this up because it had a very Mass Effect sort of feel to the description (people who have played that series know what I'm talking about). I think this just sort of missed the mark for me. Good concept, and the plot was ok, but the writing needed a heavier hand in the editor's position. I think that would have made this a lot tighter. Sorry I can't be more positive!

The positive thing I can say is that, even having said all this, I'd still listen to the next one if I found it on sale. I do find myself interested in how it all turns out (though I hope some other fundamental concepts, like "So what if the fleet does make it home? Then what?" get explained better).

  • Son of a Liche

  • The Dark Profit Saga, Book 2
  • By: J. Zachary Pike
  • Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
  • Length: 20 hrs and 10 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars 739
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars 707
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars 707

Still bruised and heartbroken from their last calamitous quest, Gorm Ingerson and his band of washed-up heroes try to make amends for the orcs they accidentally betrayed. But justice is put on hold when an old foe marches to the city gates. Gorm is horrified to discover a liche pitching the frightened city-dwellers on the merits of the undead lifestyle...at the head of a corpse army. To save the city from high-pressure sales tactics and an inevitable siege, the dwarf warrior and his misfit band hatch a harebrained scheme that lands them at the top of the king’s kill list.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Crony capitalism compete to crush our heroes

  • By Ray Johnson on 05-27-18

Come on back to Arth. You know you wanna.

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-22-18

So I was fortunate enough to get my hands on an advanced reader copy of this book, so I've already had the pleasure of reading it. But I did want to wait until I'd finished the audiobook version to give an opinion on it independently as well. So, here's what I've already said about the book:

If you've read Orconomics (if you haven't, *go do that*), you left it all laughed out and satisfied, yet with some questions. Where do we go from here? What's going to happen to all these characters I've fallen in love with? How can the Path of the Aggressive Seller lead *me* to greatness?

I'm very happy to say that Son of a Liche delivers on this. We rejoin the beloved company from the first book as they quest forth to make things right once more. The author is once again adept at making us laugh as well as making us care in completely unexpected ways. If you appreciated the humor in Orconomics, you'll find this a fine continuation.

My favorite books all have one thing in common: they have characters that I can't help but care very deeply about. It's not enough to tell me I should care about them. It takes a deft hand to reel me in and invest me in their fates. This series has done that for me. It's not your stock "Bored of the Rings" style farce; it deals with heavier matters -- like the price of friendship, the nature of addiction, the meaning of faith. It's well beyond a few well-placed D&D jokes.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that this series is one of my very favorites, and this second volume is just as worthy as the first.

To add on about the audiobook version: it's every bit as entertaining as you'd expect it to be. The narrator is on point with his voices and candor. You'll still recognize all your favorite characters and be swept right back in to Arth where you left it. Loved it, loved it all around.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Blade Itself

  • By: Joe Abercrombie
  • Narrated by: Steven Pacey
  • Length: 22 hrs and 15 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 7,374
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars 6,899
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 6,880

Logen Ninefingers, infamous barbarian, has finally run out of luck. Caught in one feud too many, he's on the verge of becoming a dead barbarian - leaving nothing behind him but bad songs, dead friends, and a lot of happy enemies. Nobleman, dashing officer, and paragon of selfishness, Captain Jezal dan Luthar has nothing more dangerous in mind than fleecing his friends at cards and dreaming of glory in the fencing circle. But war is brewing, and on the battlefields of the frozen North they fight by altogether bloodier rules.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Characters drive the story. The Narrator rocks!

  • By Brian Alsobrook on 11-01-16

Has potential, but never quite hits it

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-17-18

This book shifts constantly between several different storylines that are, of course, set up to converge by the end of the book.

Individually, they are sort of interesting. The parts with Logen were the ones I found most interesting. Glockta was a good character (don't conflate "good character" with "moral character," of course). Jezal is sort of your typical rich jerk, though it was nice to see him confronting parts of his jerkiness.

But all together it felt like an overextended exercise in party building, to an end that even now (and I just finished the book a week ago) feels difficult to recall why it was even important.

The way this book went makes me think that perhaps the really interesting stuff is yet to come, but I'm not certain if I'm game to committing more money and time to see where it goes. I feel pretty bad about this, given the rave reviews this book gets, and how into fantasy I am. It just didn't reach out and grab me by the throat.

I was also promised "wickedly funny." Save for the occasional chuckle, I didn't really get that.

The narrator was good. He handled Glockta's linguistic idiosyncrasies very well.

This story felt like a pile of great ideas to me that didn't quite get knitted into a nice little bag.

  • Age of Iron

  • By: Angus Watson
  • Narrated by: Sean Barrett
  • Length: 15 hrs and 16 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 937
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 871
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 870

Dug Sealskinner is a down-on-his-luck mercenary traveling south to join up with King Zadar's army. But he keeps rescuing the wrong people. First Spring, a child he finds scavenging on the battlefield, and then Lowa, one of Zadar's most fearsome warriors, who has vowed revenge on the king for her sister's execution. Now Dug's on the wrong side of the thousands-strong army he hoped to join - and worse, Zadar has bloodthirsty druid magic on his side.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Joe Ambercrombie style

  • By Stephen on 09-19-14

A good rollicker with enjoyable characters.

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
4 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-17-18

This is a sort of "historically-inspired fantasy," if you will, and it really worked. The characters are realistic (they aren't "too perfect;" they can't just do everything) in a way that many fantasy writers fail to get right. The tale doesn't just follow every trope all the way down the road and beat it to death.

Something that really made this a stand-out for me was the main character, Dug. He's positively loveable. He's not perfect. He's so "human." I really felt for him in this story.

The narrator was great. I thought his selection of voices was spot-on.

There is a great deal of humor in this book, too. A lot of it is through the casual use of naughty words, so if that kind of stuff bothers you, this isn't your horse.

I loved it and I'll be picking up the next one soon.

  • A Dirty Job

  • By: Christopher Moore
  • Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
  • Length: 11 hrs and 49 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 9,912
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 6,805
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 6,805

People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Great Listen!

  • By Janie on 03-24-06

Kitty...

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-17-18

I am really divided on this book.

It's such a cute concept on the face of it. It did have some genuinely funny moments. The humor comes at you a lot faster than the other Moore book I picked up and read first -- Practical Demonkeeping.

It's also full of cringe. It's a little predictable. It's a little, er, uncomfortably racist? (I'm not a big ol' SJW or anything, but ok, we get it, running joke about the old Chinese woman taking and eating the dead pets...old Russian woman saying everything "like bear...")

I did like some of the secondary characters. Minty was decent.

The romantic subplot sort of made me roll my eyes.

The narrator...was probably appropriate for the book. I found him kind of grating, though.

I admit I'm a little curious as to where this might go afterward, but I'm not sure I'm curious enough to wince my way through another book like this. It just wasn't for me, I think.

27 of 30 people found this review helpful