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NorthernPerson

  • 14
  • reviews
  • 11
  • helpful votes
  • 181
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  • School for Psychics, Book 1

  • By: K.C. Archer
  • Narrated by: Madeleine Maby
  • Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 848
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 789
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 788

Teddy Cannon isn’t your typical 20-something woman. She’s resourceful. She’s bright. She’s scrappy. She can also read people with uncanny precision. What she doesn’t realize: She’s actually psychic. When a series of bad decisions leads Teddy to a run-in with the police, a mysterious stranger intervenes. He invites her to apply to the School for Psychics, a facility hidden off the coast of San Francisco where students are trained like Delta Force operatives: It’s competitive, cutthroat, and highly secretive.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • She chose... poorly.

  • By Rebekah on 03-25-19

So bad. So incredibly, irretrievably bad.

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-29-19

This is easily the worst audiobook I've listened to in years and I want my $5 back. I could only get through a few hours before having to turn it off. The writing is basic, unimaginative, and peppered with so many desperate references to pop culture (Instagram, Facebook, selfies, "the web" etc...) that the author comes across as someone's aging auntie trying to connect with "those cool young millennial kids" by regurgitating buzzwords she heard watching Youtube for a weekend. The story itself is predictable and has heavily borrowed plot points from X-Files, Harry Potter, tv shows like Bones, etc. and you'll instantly recognize the patchwork of story elements that just do not fit together. Characters are stereotypes you'd see all over television and there's nothing to keep the reader engaged. This book is such a waste of time.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • The Witcher Legacy

  • The Bounty Cove Chronicles, Book One
  • By: Brenda Tetreault
  • Narrated by: Susan Marlowe
  • Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 56
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars 54
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 55

After a nomadic childhood with her mother, Melissa Witcher is ready to put down roots, despite the ghosts that haunt not only her new home but her family history as well. Michael Kemper never saw her coming, and from the moment he meets Melissa Witcher, he finds himself ready to do whatever it takes to stay by her side.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Spooky and Sweet and Wonderful

  • By Shayay19 on 11-19-16

Holy cow, this is awful!

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-13-19

I tried so hard to get through this, I really did. The narrator is TERRIBLE: she has such a strong northern WI or MI midwestern accent it's incredibly distracting, and she's totally incapable of doing the male voices. The writing is bad and the plot points are so dated as to be unlistenable: all the men are awful stereotypes of testosterone-poisoned gorillas, the "love scenes" are basically porn right out of 80s tropes (complete with white stockings on her!) and overall the whole book reads like the manuscript of some cheap B-movie from a second rate cable channel in 1985. I only had 2 hours left in the book and couldn't even finish it, it was that bad. Don't waste your time.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • The Ghost of Marlow House

  • Haunting Danielle Series, Book 1
  • By: Bobbi Holmes, Anna J. McIntyre
  • Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
  • Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 673
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 614
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 612

When Danielle Boatman inherits Marlow House, she dreams of turning it into a seaside bed and breakfast. Since she's never visited the property, Danielle's not sure what awaits her in Oregon. She certainly doesn't expect to find one of the house's previous owners still in residence. After all, the man has been dead for almost 90 years - shouldn't he have moved on by now? Charming Walt Marlow convinces Danielle the only way he can move on is if she solves the mystery of his death.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Loved it

  • By Beatrice on 03-18-17

Grating narrator, simplistic writing. Not worth it

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 11-06-18

I found it really hard to get past this narrator: She'd be much better suited to reading children's books to toddlers in a daycare than mystery stories. I'm sure she's a nice person but with her smiley high pitched inflection, she comes across as more like a kindergarten teacher than professional narrator. Combined with the mediocre-at-best writing in this basic story free of any depth or personality (and full of eye-rolling badly researched stereotypes of what a man from the 1920's would be like), it was just an irritating experience listening to this. The audiobook may have been saved as a fun mindless diversion if it had a better reader, but as it is I'd definitely avoid future books in this series.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman

  • The Extraordinary Adventures of the Athena Club, Book 2
  • By: Theodora Goss
  • Narrated by: Kate Reading
  • Length: 24 hrs and 27 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 921
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars 854
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 851

Mary Jekyll’s life has been peaceful since she helped Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson solve the Whitechapel Murders. Beatrice Rappaccini, Catherine Moreau, Justine Frankenstein, and Mary’s sister Diana Hyde have settled into the Jekyll household in London, and although they sometimes quarrel, they can always rely on Mrs. Poole. But when Mary receives a telegram that Lucinda Van Helsing has been kidnapped, the Athena Club must travel to the Austro-Hungarian Empire to rescue yet another young woman who has been subjected to horrific experimentation.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Little Women meets Anno Dracula

  • By Stefan Filipovits on 07-13-18

Disappointingly bad.

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-30-18

The narrator Kate Reading is fantastic at her job and is wonderful with inflection, manner, and different voices for each character -- I think she alone is the main reason I could approach the end of this book. The grammar and vocabulary of the writing, however, sound like it was written by a modern 14 year old for school English class: The characters use slang and lazy turns of phrase that are popular today in 2018, certainly not appropriate for Victorian era Europe. And HOW MANY TIMES can the writer possibly repeat that Katherine is a puma! And the *constant* repetition of how Diana finds things "so annoying!" and everything is "so gross!" ---- over and over again those same things are repeated in what feels like almost every paragraph. After the first mention of "because I am a puma!" (puma puma puma, arghh) and something being annoying/gross//poisonous/etc, I as the reader get it and really don't need to hear the same crude things constantly echoed through the whole book. Was there not an editor tasked with removing repetitious passages and cleaning up the language to sound more historically accurate? I loved the book prior to this in the series "The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter" which was charming and had a new unique take on the Victorian monster & mystery themes. This book "European Travel" as its sequel, however, is just astoundingly disappointing and feels like it was written in a hurry with little editing.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Strange Practice

  • By: Vivian Shaw
  • Narrated by: Susanna Hampton
  • Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,623
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,525
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,517

Dr. Greta Helsing has inherited the family's highly specialized and highly peculiar medical practice. She treats the undead for a host of ills - vocal strain in banshees, arthritis in barrow-wights, and entropy in mummies. It's a quiet, supernatural-adjacent life until a sect of murderous monks emerges, killing human and undead Londoners alike. As terror takes hold of the city, Greta must use her unusual skills to stop the cult if she hopes to save her practice - and her life.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Keep Google open while you read

  • By Christine Ehren on 02-23-18

I completely ADORED this book

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-30-18

What a wonderful story! Really loved this book and wish it were longer. Rich and enjoyable characters and a unique take on the "monster" genre, as a young female doctor takes her place in the world as the much needed and beloved fixer-of-monsters in modern day London while a group of magically enhanced religious zealots try to wreak havoc on her world. She has meaningful friendships with a variety of creatures and I really enjoyed the medical descriptions of how their bodies function. The author does a lovely job of bringing home the concept that though they may not be human, they're still *people* and thus valuable and worthy of saving. I'm excited to see that there seems to be a sequel in the works!

  • A Dirty Job

  • By: Christopher Moore
  • Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
  • Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 10,502
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 7,354
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 7,357

People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Great Listen!

  • By Janie on 03-24-06

Would've been a fun book if not for the narrator

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 05-02-18

The story was amusing: There were some really fun turns of phrase in the writing. It would've been much more enjoyable with a different narrator, however. Fisher Stevens narrates this entire book as if he's doing voiceovers for movie trailers. It's utterly maddening. His cadence of speech is too hyper with a stuttery stop-and-start rhythm where he takes a big breath every 3 or 4 words... honestly it made me feel short of breath just listening to him. It's a shame because I just can't deal with this narrator & will be avoiding any other books he reads for.

  • I Know I Am, But What Are You?

  • By: Samantha Bee
  • Narrated by: Samantha Bee
  • Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 1,514
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,283
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 1,277

Critics have called her “sweet, adorable, and vicious.” But there is so much more to be said about Samantha Bee. For one, she’s Canadian - whatever that means. And now, she opens up for the very first time about her checkered Canadian past. With charming candor, she admits to her Lennie from Of Mice and Men-style love of baby animals, her teenage crime spree as one-half of a car-thieving couple, and the fact that strangers seem compelled to show her their genitals.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • I gotta ramble.

  • By Megan on 01-08-11

I thought I liked Samantha Bee. I was wrong.

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-22-18

Samantha Bee is not a nice or pleasant person. It would have been better for her not to tell the world in explicit detail just how unpleasant she is by writing this autobiography. Given, she can be funny and there are a few places in her story that are laugh-out-loud amusing. But the more she talked, the less I like her as a human -- she neglects her animals, cruelly makes fun of the disabled and elderly, was a teenage thief, she's uptight and judgmental, and just generally has little to no respect for the people around her. By the end of the book I found that I was cringing more than laughing. To revise an old quote: It's better to remain silent and have others think you're a jerk, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  • A Beautiful Poison

  • By: Lydia Kang
  • Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
  • Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 1,032
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 916
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 911

Just beyond the Gilded Age, in the mist-covered streets of New York, the deadly Spanish influenza ripples through the city. But with so many victims in her close circle, young socialite Allene questions if the flu is really to blame. All appear to have been poisoned - and every death was accompanied by a mysterious note.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • It had potential, but faltered in execution

  • By Constance Jenkins on 01-14-18

Overwrought and bleak

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 03-14-18

The premise had potential and there are some lovely little turns of phrase sprinkled here and there through the book. But it felt much too earnestly written, trying too hard to insert small details to establish historical "accuracy" and the writer got way too invested in heavy use of their thesaurus. By the end, the story itself just got too dark and unbelievable, and just didn't hang together right.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • A High-End Finish

  • By: Kate Carlisle
  • Narrated by: Angela Starling
  • Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 1,533
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 1,402
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 1,397

In the seaside town of Lighthouse Cove, everyone knows the best man for the job is actually a woman - contractor Shannon Hammer. But while Shannon can do wonders with a power drill and a little elbow grease, her love life needs work. On a blind date with real estate agent Jerry Saxton, she has to whip out a pair of pliers to keep Jerry from getting too hands on.Shannon is happy to put her rotten date behind her, but when Jerry's found dead in a run-down Victorian home that she's been hired to restore, the town's attractive new police chief suspects that her threats may have laid the foundation for murder.

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • It was ok

  • By Diana on 12-19-14

Put down the thesaurus

Overall
2 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 01-26-18

A cheerful and light read. I've read worse stories, but if you took out all the extraneous adjectives & grammatical modifiers the story would probably be only 10 pages long. It felt like the author usually writes catalog blurbs for a living, with the excessive declarations of how smooth/glossy/crispy/refreshing/soft/etc. every single object is. The story itself is pretty unrealistic with characters aged in their 30s interacting as if they're 13 years old, written as if this were a script for a teen TV series. I won't seek out more from this writer but this story is a fine mindless diversion to have playing in the background while driving to work.

  • Carrots

  • Shelby Nichols Adventures, Book 1
  • By: Colleen Helme
  • Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
  • Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 1,946
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 1,781
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 1,783

Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is busy robbing the bank inside the store. When a customer grabs the robber's mask, he is shot and everyone runs for cover. Everyone except Shelby, who finds herself face to face with the killer.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Fantastic story and flawless audio! Get it!

  • By Dr. Geoff on 11-20-13

So bad.

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-10-17

Narration is grating and tedious to listen to: The voice of the main character is like childish minivan-driving version of June Cleaver. All of the male characters sound like slowed down, drawling versions of John Wayne with the bad guys having an added Bugs Bunny gangster type inflection. Even at 1.5x speed to get things moving along already, it's hard to listen to. As far as the story itself, the main character Shelby is a caricature of all the negative stereotypes of a stay-at-home mom. Naive and simpering, she exists to be a good happy lil' wifey to her husband and put wholesome food on the table for her kids. (Hence the CARROTS. They're for soup. Naturally.) Until she suddenly acquires the ability to read minds after a head wound, then wacky adventure hijinx abound. Save your time and skip this, it'll just get on your nerves.