Pirate Humor

Jeremy Jacob was sitting on the beach one fine day with his parents when he saw a pirate ship heading their way. He tried to warn his family, but it was already much too late. When the ship landed, the pirates welcomed Jeremy aboard. Jeremy thought that being a pirate would be fun, but it wasn't nearly as nice as he thought it would be. Late one night at sea, a gigantic storm struck, and the pirate ship was wrecked. With nowhere else to go, Jeremy and the pirates go back to his house!

When her big sister Violet has friend trouble at school, Dory tries to come to her rescue. But, of course, Dory's active imagination takes over, and Dory's suddenly sure that Violet's problem involves pirates - and Violet's lost friendship bracelet is hidden treasure. When Dory sets sail to recover the treasure, she has to navigate rocky waters without her imaginary friend Mary, who has gone off on vacation with an exciting new friend of her own.

To escape from a life of petticoats and politeness, Hilary answers a curious advertisement for a pirate crew and suddenly finds herself swept up in a seafaring adventure that may or may not involve a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesn't exist, a rogue governess who insists on propriety, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous - and unexpected - villain on the High Seas. Will Hilary find the treasure in time? Will she become a true pirate after all? And what will become of the gargoyle?

Follow the further adventures and misadventures of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III as his Viking training continues and his father leads a stranger and the Hairy Hooligans to the Isle of Skullions in search of a pirate's treasure.

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

1719. Great Britain is at war with Spain. When his mother dies, fourteen year old Dan Leake finds himself alone on the mean streets of Bristol. Faced with starvation or the workhouse, he stows away on a British man-o-war, hoping to find his father who had been pressed into the Royal Navy years before. Falsely accused of theft, Dan is shunned by his shipmates and bullied by the sadistic bosun, as he endures the brutal life aboard an eighteenth century warship. He finally discovers the real thief, and his courage, at the bloody Battle of Cape St. Vincent. At his moment of triumph, he realises...

Tom Edison (no, not that Tom Edison) is a hopeful janitor who dreams of becoming a scientist - and Dr. Morice is a shy scientist who dreams of making friends. When an accident at the lab sends them back in time to the stone age, Tom and Dr. Morice must work together to face down cavemen, saber-tooth tigers, and other BC hazards, with only one problem: Tom isn't very good at science, and Dr. Morice isn't very good with people.

Melinda Long's How I Became a Pirate was a New York Times best-seller, a Book Sense Book of the Year, and a Parents' Choice Gold Award winner. In this humorous sequel, Jeremy Jacob is babysitting his infant sister when his old pirate friends come knocking. They want the treasure stashed in the backyard, but Jeremy will only help if the pirates take care of Bonney.

Smugglers. Thieves. Pirates. The Sea Rover's crew embodies these defining qualities. Immerse yourself in a Science Fiction Adventure box set written by author C.P. MacDonald. Witness Captain Calin Aku's evolution from the most wanted outlaw on the Moon to an unexpected if reluctant hero. Job by job, paycheck by paycheck, he keeps flying. However, with a new client comes a cascade of adventure, forging unusual alliances and unraveling amazing mysteries. These revelations don't just alter the lives of Calin and his crew but also reshape humanity's future. Join Calin Aku and his crew as they ...

In his fourth sidesplitting adventure, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III must rescue his best friend, Fishlegs, from the deadly disease Vorpentitis. The only cure is rare and almost impossible to find...a potato. But where will Hiccup find such a thing? He'll have to dodge the terrible Sharkworms, battle Doomfangs, and outwit crazy Hooligans if he's going to be a Hero...again.

Get ready to set sail with "Salty Limericks," a hilarious and irreverent collection of poems that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're a sailor, a pirate, or simply a lover of the sea, these carefully crafted limericks are sure to entertain and delight. With clever wordplay and a dash of rudeness, each poem delivers a tasty punchline that will have you chortling with glee. Written by a skilled poet, these limericks are a true feast of fun, casting a net to drag a catch of wriggling, rib-tickling words to shore. And the best part? You can share them with your friends and family, ...

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

The Bailey School kids need to train for a boat race and Camp Lone Wolf is just the place to do it. Too bad rumor has it that the bankrupt camp may need to shut down soon. The visiting coach, Captain Teach, who bears a strange resemblance to a pirate, turns out to in possession of a map that leads the way to buried treasure. Can the kids find the treasure and save Camp Lone Wolf before Captain Teach makes off with the booty?

In the fifth adventure in the How to Train Your Dragon series, someone has stolen the Fire-Stone. Now the volcano on Volcano Island has become active and the tremors are hatching the eggs of the Exterminator dragons! Can Hiccup return the Fire-Stone to the Volcano, stop the Volcano from erupting, and save the Tribes from being wiped out by the terrible sword-claws of the Exterminators?

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

Gold coins from a centuries-old sunken treasure ship have been found on the beach in Cawsand. This would be no cause for Tempest Michaels to take notice, but a man murdered by the ghost of a dead pirate come to claim back the gold? That ticks all his boxes. Tempest, oblivious to the events in Cawsand and believing he was overdue a week off, has traveled to Cornwall with his dogs for some relaxation and perhaps a cream tea or two. Well, fat chance of that, because he is hip-deep in murderous ghosts before he finishes his second pint.

Long John has a whole crew of wild pirates in tow, and - for one boy and his sister - he's about to transform a perfectly ordinary evening into a riotous adventure beneath a pirate moon. It's time to make some pirate stew.

Swashbuckling charm. A mischievous sidekick. An AI with a crush. Kaz Jepsen is a legendary space explorer with a reckless streak, a flair for the dramatic, and a talent for talking his way out of—or into—trouble. His companion, Farber, is a genetically engineered blend of monkey and cat with fast reflexes, dry wit, and zero patience for Kaz’s theatrics. Together, they roam the galaxy aboard the Stellar Serpent, a slightly unreliable ship run by Chloe—an AI who's become a little too emotionally invested in her captain. When a fading distress signal leads them to a forgotten planet, ...

Set in the years around 1492, Yiddish for Pirates recounts the compelling story of Moishe, a Bar Mitzvah boy who leaves home to join a ship's crew, where he meets Aaron, the polyglot parrot who becomes his near-constant companion. From a present-day Florida nursing home, this wisecracking yet poetic bird guides us through a world of pirate ships, Yiddish jokes, and treasure maps. But Inquisition Spain is a dangerous time to be Jewish and Moishe joins a band of hidden Jews trying to preserve some forbidden books.

Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.