Pirate Humor

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

Follow the further adventures and misadventures of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III as his Viking training continues and his father leads a stranger and the Hairy Hooligans to the Isle of Skullions in search of a pirate's treasure.

To escape from a life of petticoats and politeness, Hilary answers a curious advertisement for a pirate crew and suddenly finds herself swept up in a seafaring adventure that may or may not involve a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesn't exist, a rogue governess who insists on propriety, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous - and unexpected - villain on the High Seas. Will Hilary find the treasure in time? Will she become a true pirate after all? And what will become of the gargoyle?

1720. The Golden Age of Piracy.After setting out to look for his press-ganged father, fifteen-year old Dan Leake finds himself clinging to a barrel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. His luck changes when a passing ship saves him from a watery grave, but his joy is short-lived. He soon discovers that his rescuers are not what they seem.Dan is forced to join Calico Jack’s blood-thirsty crew, which includes Anne Bonny and Mary Read. He faces death on a daily basis as they career around the Caribbean lurching from one hair-raising adventure to another. At last he reaches Jamaica, where he ...

1721. The slave trade ravages the West Coast of Africa. With his world turned upside down, and disillusioned with family and society, Dan Leake, now 16, gets together a disparate group of ex-pirates and runaway slaves. With this motley crew, Dan steals a ship and they flee from Jamaica. They sail to the coast of Africa where they plan to disrupt the African slave trade and get rich at the same time. Pursued by the navies of the powerful slaving nations, and hunted by vengeful pirates, Dan and his followers are forced from the Atlantic. Rounding the stormy Cape of Good Hope, they sail into ...

Smugglers. Thieves. Pirates. The Sea Rover's crew embodies these defining qualities. Immerse yourself in a Science Fiction Adventure box set written by author C.P. MacDonald. Witness Captain Calin Aku's evolution from the most wanted outlaw on the Moon to an unexpected if reluctant hero. Job by job, paycheck by paycheck, he keeps flying. However, with a new client comes a cascade of adventure, forging unusual alliances and unraveling amazing mysteries. These revelations don't just alter the lives of Calin and his crew but also reshape humanity's future. Join Calin Aku and his crew as they ...

The long-awaited 9th book in the beloved CASTLE PERILOUS fantasy series. Castle Perilous is a dangerous place to live. But some of its Guests are danger addicts. It's been years since Gene Ferraro, champion swordsman, has had a real adventure. He finds a swashbuckling world of pirates and manages to have a rousing time battling zombies, vampires, and an evil empire or two. Linda Barclay, resident Castle mage, reluctantly accompanies him but finds more romance than she ever expected. Meanwhile, back at the Castle, its magic goes awry (what again?—that trick never works!) and Lord ...

When her big sister Violet has friend trouble at school, Dory tries to come to her rescue. But, of course, Dory's active imagination takes over, and Dory's suddenly sure that Violet's problem involves pirates - and Violet's lost friendship bracelet is hidden treasure. When Dory sets sail to recover the treasure, she has to navigate rocky waters without her imaginary friend Mary, who has gone off on vacation with an exciting new friend of her own.

My troublemaker cousin was trapped in Transratania! And before I could even squeak, my sister, Thea, dragged me along on her rescue mission. Little did we know that Transratania is the land of vampire bats! Holey cheese, bats give me goose bumps!

In the fifth adventure in the How to Train Your Dragon series, someone has stolen the Fire-Stone. Now the volcano on Volcano Island has become active and the tremors are hatching the eggs of the Exterminator dragons! Can Hiccup return the Fire-Stone to the Volcano, stop the Volcano from erupting, and save the Tribes from being wiped out by the terrible sword-claws of the Exterminators?

Tom Edison (no, not that Tom Edison) is a hopeful janitor who dreams of becoming a scientist - and Dr. Morice is a shy scientist who dreams of making friends. When an accident at the lab sends them back in time to the stone age, Tom and Dr. Morice must work together to face down cavemen, saber-tooth tigers, and other BC hazards, with only one problem: Tom isn't very good at science, and Dr. Morice isn't very good with people.

In his fourth sidesplitting adventure, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III must rescue his best friend, Fishlegs, from the deadly disease Vorpentitis. The only cure is rare and almost impossible to find...a potato. But where will Hiccup find such a thing? He'll have to dodge the terrible Sharkworms, battle Doomfangs, and outwit crazy Hooligans if he's going to be a Hero...again.

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

Set in the years around 1492, Yiddish for Pirates recounts the compelling story of Moishe, a Bar Mitzvah boy who leaves home to join a ship's crew, where he meets Aaron, the polyglot parrot who becomes his near-constant companion. From a present-day Florida nursing home, this wisecracking yet poetic bird guides us through a world of pirate ships, Yiddish jokes, and treasure maps. But Inquisition Spain is a dangerous time to be Jewish and Moishe joins a band of hidden Jews trying to preserve some forbidden books.

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

Join eight-year-old Captain Eva and her trusty robotic co-pilot, Bolt, on a thrilling adventure across the cosmos! When the fearsome Nebula Pirates steal her grandfather's precious Starlight Compass, Eva embarks on an epic chase through the galaxy to get it back. From navigating glittering asteroid fields and outsmarting traps in shimmering crystal caves to facing the cunning Captain Void himself, Eva must use all her wits to reclaim her treasure and prove that the biggest heroes can come in the smallest packages.

Swashbuckling charm. A mischievous sidekick. An AI with a crush. Kaz Jepsen is a legendary space explorer with a reckless streak, a flair for the dramatic, and a talent for talking his way out of—or into—trouble. His companion, Farber, is a genetically engineered blend of monkey and cat with fast reflexes, dry wit, and zero patience for Kaz’s theatrics. Together, they roam the galaxy aboard the Stellar Serpent, a slightly unreliable ship run by Chloe—an AI who's become a little too emotionally invested in her captain. When a fading distress signal leads them to a forgotten planet, ...

Explore Enchancia with Sofia the First, and sail the Never Sea with Jake and his crew. Help Doc diagnose her toy patients; hang out at the Clubhouse with Mickey, Minnie, and the rest of the gang; and have a roarsome time with Henry Hugglemonster! This fun-filled book features eighteen stories starring your favorite Disney Junior pals!

1719. Great Britain is at war with Spain. When his mother dies, fourteen year old Dan Leake finds himself alone on the mean streets of Bristol. Faced with starvation or the workhouse, he stows away on a British man-o-war, hoping to find his father who had been pressed into the Royal Navy years before. Falsely accused of theft, Dan is shunned by his shipmates and bullied by the sadistic bosun, as he endures the brutal life aboard an eighteenth century warship. He finally discovers the real thief, and his courage, at the bloody Battle of Cape St. Vincent. At his moment of triumph, he realises...

Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.