Pirate Humor

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee Jimmy Buffett offers his philosophy on life and how to live it, “like sitting with Buffett at a beachside bar, listening to him spin tales” (Time). “Buffett took his family on a three-week trek around the Caribbean...

1721. The slave trade ravages the West Coast of Africa. With his world turned upside down, and disillusioned with family and society, Dan Leake, now 16, gets together a disparate group of ex-pirates and runaway slaves. With this motley crew, Dan steals a ship and they flee from Jamaica. They sail to the coast of Africa where they plan to disrupt the African slave trade and get rich at the same time. Pursued by the navies of the powerful slaving nations, and hunted by vengeful pirates, Dan and his followers are forced from the Atlantic. Rounding the stormy Cape of Good Hope, they sail into ...

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

I thought saving the galaxy four times was enough. Turns out, the galaxy disagreed. When a ruthless fleet of intergalactic space pirates storms the Dominion’s trade routes, Alex and the crew of the Starflare find themselves in the middle of a war they never asked for—again. Their mission: stop the biggest pirate armada in the quadrant before it burns half the galaxy to ash. Outgunned, outnumbered, and low on snacks, Alex, Lucy, Joey, and the rest of the crew have to pull off their most insane plan yet. Between malfunctioning tech, questionable alliances, and a pirate queen with a ...

Smugglers. Thieves. Pirates. The Sea Rover's crew embodies these defining qualities. Immerse yourself in a Science Fiction Adventure box set written by author C.P. MacDonald. Witness Captain Calin Aku's evolution from the most wanted outlaw on the Moon to an unexpected if reluctant hero. Job by job, paycheck by paycheck, he keeps flying. However, with a new client comes a cascade of adventure, forging unusual alliances and unraveling amazing mysteries. These revelations don't just alter the lives of Calin and his crew but also reshape humanity's future. Join Calin Aku and his crew as they ...

In the second book of the suspense-filled Gentleman Bastard Sequence, hailed by George R. R. Martin as “fresh, original, and engrossing,” Locke Lamora faces a caper so death-defying that nothing short of a miracle will pull it off. For some, only a prize worth dying for makes life worth...

Meet Jaundice and Kale Bland, two sisters who avoid excitement at any cost. Together, they patiently await the return of their parents, who left on an errand years ago and have never returned. One day, the Bland sisters are kidnapped by an all-female band of pirates. They're unwillingly swept into a high-seas romp that might just lead to solving the mystery of what happened to their parents. With Roald Dahl-esque wit, this new series is for listeners who are looking for an anything-but-bland adventure.

Here be pirates! … Oh, and here be Dragons! GNARRR!!! And then there were less pirates. When a young soldier comes to beg help from Thundersong and Queen Azania to rescue his sister, snatched by pirates, the scent of adventure proves irresistible. Hoicking the lad up by his bootlaces, they promptly set off in pursuit of ye foul brigands. Never mind that the King will have a Dragon’s guts for whisking his very pregnant wife off across the Lumis Ocean. Minor detail. A rollicking adventure unfolds as the young lady in question proves unexpectedly elusive. Many dangers threaten out in the ...

1720. The Golden Age of Piracy.After setting out to look for his press-ganged father, fifteen-year old Dan Leake finds himself clinging to a barrel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. His luck changes when a passing ship saves him from a watery grave, but his joy is short-lived. He soon discovers that his rescuers are not what they seem.Dan is forced to join Calico Jack’s blood-thirsty crew, which includes Anne Bonny and Mary Read. He faces death on a daily basis as they career around the Caribbean lurching from one hair-raising adventure to another. At last he reaches Jamaica, where he ...

When her big sister Violet has friend trouble at school, Dory tries to come to her rescue. But, of course, Dory's active imagination takes over, and Dory's suddenly sure that Violet's problem involves pirates - and Violet's lost friendship bracelet is hidden treasure. When Dory sets sail to recover the treasure, she has to navigate rocky waters without her imaginary friend Mary, who has gone off on vacation with an exciting new friend of her own.

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

1719. Great Britain is at war with Spain. When his mother dies, fourteen year old Dan Leake finds himself alone on the mean streets of Bristol. Faced with starvation or the workhouse, he stows away on a British man-o-war, hoping to find his father who had been pressed into the Royal Navy years before. Falsely accused of theft, Dan is shunned by his shipmates and bullied by the sadistic bosun, as he endures the brutal life aboard an eighteenth century warship. He finally discovers the real thief, and his courage, at the bloody Battle of Cape St. Vincent. At his moment of triumph, he realises...

Get ready to set sail with "Salty Limericks," a hilarious and irreverent collection of poems that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're a sailor, a pirate, or simply a lover of the sea, these carefully crafted limericks are sure to entertain and delight. With clever wordplay and a dash of rudeness, each poem delivers a tasty punchline that will have you chortling with glee. Written by a skilled poet, these limericks are a true feast of fun, casting a net to drag a catch of wriggling, rib-tickling words to shore. And the best part? You can share them with your friends and family, ...

Gary the Stegosaurus wants to be a pirate. But when he gets the chance, things do not work out. Getting seasick is the least of Gary's worries once he's on that ship!

Melinda Long's How I Became a Pirate was a New York Times best-seller, a Book Sense Book of the Year, and a Parents' Choice Gold Award winner. In this humorous sequel, Jeremy Jacob is babysitting his infant sister when his old pirate friends come knocking. They want the treasure stashed in the backyard, but Jeremy will only help if the pirates take care of Bonney.

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

Set in the years around 1492, Yiddish for Pirates recounts the compelling story of Moishe, a Bar Mitzvah boy who leaves home to join a ship's crew, where he meets Aaron, the polyglot parrot who becomes his near-constant companion. From a present-day Florida nursing home, this wisecracking yet poetic bird guides us through a world of pirate ships, Yiddish jokes, and treasure maps. But Inquisition Spain is a dangerous time to be Jewish and Moishe joins a band of hidden Jews trying to preserve some forbidden books.

The "famouse" reporter appears on a TV game show to save his newspaper and joins his sister on a haunted pirate treasure hunt in this pair of exciting adventures.

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

When word of his abilities spreads through the galactic grapevine, Ben ranks number one on an A.I.’s most wanted list to become their cybernated slave. As he’s thrust into an interstellar struggle, Ben discovers a powerful alien hiding on Earth. Determined to protect it, he must outmaneuver relentless enemies, decode cryptic warnings, and determine whether a headstrong spaceship is friend or foe. The fate of more than just his own survival is at stake, and if he fails, the entire universe could pay the price.