Pirate Humor

Meet Jaundice and Kale Bland, two sisters who avoid excitement at any cost. Together, they patiently await the return of their parents, who left on an errand years ago and have never returned. One day, the Bland sisters are kidnapped by an all-female band of pirates. They're unwillingly swept into a high-seas romp that might just lead to solving the mystery of what happened to their parents. With Roald Dahl-esque wit, this new series is for listeners who are looking for an anything-but-bland adventure.

Smugglers. Thieves. Pirates. The Sea Rover's crew embodies these defining qualities. Immerse yourself in a Science Fiction Adventure box set written by author C.P. MacDonald. Witness Captain Calin Aku's evolution from the most wanted outlaw on the Moon to an unexpected if reluctant hero. Job by job, paycheck by paycheck, he keeps flying. However, with a new client comes a cascade of adventure, forging unusual alliances and unraveling amazing mysteries. These revelations don't just alter the lives of Calin and his crew but also reshape humanity's future. Join Calin Aku and his crew as they ...

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee Jimmy Buffett offers his philosophy on life and how to live it, “like sitting with Buffett at a beachside bar, listening to him spin tales” (Time). “Buffett took his family on a three-week trek around the Caribbean...

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

I thought saving the galaxy four times was enough. Turns out, the galaxy disagreed. When a ruthless fleet of intergalactic space pirates storms the Dominion’s trade routes, Alex and the crew of the Starflare find themselves in the middle of a war they never asked for—again. Their mission: stop the biggest pirate armada in the quadrant before it burns half the galaxy to ash. Outgunned, outnumbered, and low on snacks, Alex, Lucy, Joey, and the rest of the crew have to pull off their most insane plan yet. Between malfunctioning tech, questionable alliances, and a pirate queen with a ...

In the second book of the suspense-filled Gentleman Bastard Sequence, hailed by George R. R. Martin as “fresh, original, and engrossing,” Locke Lamora faces a caper so death-defying that nothing short of a miracle will pull it off. For some, only a prize worth dying for makes life worth...

The fifth volume in the Minecraft warrior adventure series follows Runt and Blurp on their quest back from The End. Cube Kid's bestselling characters come to life for young readers along with fun illustrations from the 8-Bit Warrior Graphic Novel format. "A Minecraft Movie leveled up at the box...

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

Not all aliens have tails, but the ones who do are extra fun. This anthology contains all five novellas in the Araced Pirates series, as well as Halloween Mischief, which is a related story. (Only three of the guys have tails, but don’t worry, the other two aliens have other good qualities!) I Bit Him, So He’s Mine Marigold Wong has been kidnapped, and she’s not going to go down easily. The first step to escape: fight off her captor, a giant Tholkon pirate who keeps giving her his kitten. Should be easy enough, right? I Caught Him, So He’s Mine Nova Paramar is one of the best bounty...

An all-new unofficial Minecraft warrior adventure series for young readers from bestselling author Cube Kid! This story follows Runt, a villager who longs to be a warrior. He isn’t interested in carrot culture, and he definitely isn’t interested in selling them in trade. When Runt decides to...

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

Here be pirates! … Oh, and here be Dragons! GNARRR!!! And then there were less pirates. When a young soldier comes to beg help from Thundersong and Queen Azania to rescue his sister, snatched by pirates, the scent of adventure proves irresistible. Hoicking the lad up by his bootlaces, they promptly set off in pursuit of ye foul brigands. Never mind that the King will have a Dragon’s guts for whisking his very pregnant wife off across the Lumis Ocean. Minor detail. A rollicking adventure unfolds as the young lady in question proves unexpectedly elusive. Many dangers threaten out in the ...

Threadbare has been kidnapped by pirates! But this is just the first step in the plan of the malevolent and mysterious puppeteer who's manipulated the pirates into bear-nappery. Which was supposed to be a proper princess kidnapping. To uncover this strange mastermind's plan and properly thwart it, Threadbare must play along, keep his friends alive while they attempt to rescue him, make new friends, and help the old ones during this dangerous journey to parts unknown, all to confront the deadly and devious beastkin known only as the Phantom of the Lop Ear….

1720. The Golden Age of Piracy.After setting out to look for his press-ganged father, fifteen-year old Dan Leake finds himself clinging to a barrel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. His luck changes when a passing ship saves him from a watery grave, but his joy is short-lived. He soon discovers that his rescuers are not what they seem.Dan is forced to join Calico Jack’s blood-thirsty crew, which includes Anne Bonny and Mary Read. He faces death on a daily basis as they career around the Caribbean lurching from one hair-raising adventure to another. At last he reaches Jamaica, where he ...

Carolyn Crimi scored a big hit with her first pirate bunny tale, Henry and the Buccaneer Bunnies, starring a rabbit named Henry, who is more interested in reading than pirating. The rest of the Salty Carrot's crew is too busy bowling with coconuts, shooting themselves out of cannons, and otherwise goofing off to care about a threatening letter received in a bottle. But Henry thinks there's something sinister behind the letter. Soon his fears become realized when the ship is attacked by crazy chickens!

Keeping his secret could expose her own... Cavalier Cove, Cornwall, 1815 Adeline Naughton came to Cavalier Cove to escape her family’s wrath after a failed engagement. Her uncle pays the rent on a small cottage, and in return, expects her to spy on a community-wide smuggling operation. In order to protect her precarious bit of safety, she needs to give her uncle something. When she corners a notorious French smuggler, she’s determined to turn him over. Her charming captive is equally—and annoyingly—determined to talk her out of it... If you enjoy lighthearted, steamy Regency ...

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

The "famouse" reporter appears on a TV game show to save his newspaper and joins his sister on a haunted pirate treasure hunt in this pair of exciting adventures.

The Bailey School kids need to train for a boat race and Camp Lone Wolf is just the place to do it. Too bad rumor has it that the bankrupt camp may need to shut down soon. The visiting coach, Captain Teach, who bears a strange resemblance to a pirate, turns out to in possession of a map that leads the way to buried treasure. Can the kids find the treasure and save Camp Lone Wolf before Captain Teach makes off with the booty?

1721. The slave trade ravages the West Coast of Africa. With his world turned upside down, and disillusioned with family and society, Dan Leake, now 16, gets together a disparate group of ex-pirates and runaway slaves. With this motley crew, Dan steals a ship and they flee from Jamaica. They sail to the coast of Africa where they plan to disrupt the African slave trade and get rich at the same time. Pursued by the navies of the powerful slaving nations, and hunted by vengeful pirates, Dan and his followers are forced from the Atlantic. Rounding the stormy Cape of Good Hope, they sail into ...