Not Your Average

He proposed, and I proposed a deal, too. A simple deal, really. We get engaged and close up the sex shop until the big night. Totally doable. But Mr. Future Liz thinks I won’t last a week, let alone five months, so we make the deal a bit spicier. He wants a snowy honeymoon (ew), and I’m geared up for the Bahamas. Whoever lasts longer without the touchy, naughty, smoochy will get their dream honeymoon.

She’s a pain in my ass, but she’s my only hope. I’ve got a killer acting gig set up across the country, and I got five days to get there. Piece of cake, except my agent decides it’s a brilliant idea to take a car ahead of the storm closing down the airport. Don’t know what she’s thinking, since my struggling career is the only one keeping hers afloat. But since our road trip plan died in the middle of nowhere, Nevada, we’ll have to work this out together, or I can kiss this role goodbye.

I saved $3,000 to buy a night with my best friend. And a lot of good it did me. Someone outbid the crap out of me, and he’s off with her, probably falling in love because I dumped his butt into the friend zone one too many times. Well, I’m not one to sulk over past mistakes. I’m all about correcting those babies, and I’ll do anything—including chucking basketballs at an innocent girl’s face—to get Alec back in my arms. That’s what Valentine’s Day is all about, right?