The Mortuary Misfits

The Mortician

I've always known I was different.

My name is Seven Grey, and I hang out with dead people. Yes, Seven like the number, and yes… literal dead people. I'm the only mortician in a small town tucked away in backwoods Maine, and I've known this was my dream job since the day they asked us on our first day of Kindergarten. I know who I am, and I don't apologize for it. Death is just different for me, which is why my second job works even better than my first.

They call me "The Cleaning Lady".

People die. It's just a part of life. How certain ones die is none of my business, and I don't ask questions when I work for bad people for ludicrous price tags, making their dirty deeds disappear like they never happened. They call, I clean, I leave.

So how did I end up being the center of attention for the heir to the Irish mob with the threat of accessory to murder charges hanging over my head? Well, that's a story worthy of small-town gossip.

Malek Byrne is the most deranged, annoying, ridiculous… beautiful… persistent… pain in my ass. I rue the day that he inserted himself into my life. But he's just about impossible to resist, not just because he forces a smile that hasn't been part of my dark wardrobe in years… but because he refuses to leave me the hell alone.

He drops bodies… I clean them. It should be that simple.

It's not.

He's got a list as long as my name, and I've saddled up for a ride I can't get off of…

Even if I wanted to…

Tropes: morally gray FMC and MMC; forced proximity; deranged golden retriever and black cat; he falls first; frenemies to lovers; touch her and die; stalker romance; ridiculously dark humor.