In his early twenties Brodie felt invincible, approaching life like the world revolved around him as he chased one high to the next.

It wasn’t long till Brodie had his first child unplanned, at a time he was far from ready to accept responsibility, refusing to change his party lifestyle.

His recklessness carried on, and before long he fathered a second child with another woman, and then a third.

Still, it wasn’t the wake up call he needed to grow up and settle down and the tumultuous relationship ended with him walking out - much to his regret.

Brodie had never given his mental health the time of day, thinking it was a waste of time and living by the traditional Aussie throwaway line, “you’ll be right", but eventually he wasn’t…

When the party finally ended, the lights came on and Brodie was left with nothing but his mistakes, and the realisation that he had only himself to blame.

Living back with his parents, alone at 29 after another break up Brodie, was in such a hole he didn’t think he’d see 30, that’s when he finally reached out and started climbing.

This is Brodie Toomey...

He was labelled the best in the world at 12 years old — a tennis prodigy bound for greatness, striving alongside a father who was obsessed with his success.

Todd describes his younger years as Groundhog Day, an endless 24 hour cycle hell bent on high performance, in which every tiny detail was put under constant scrutiny.

After many years of knowing no other way to live, Todd hit a wall and had the realisation he was done with the sport that had made him a machine.

He soon spiralled into self destruction, trying to annihilate the identity he couldn’t stand.

Todd’s twenties were a blur dominated by alcoholism, with drinking becoming a foundation of the next chapter of his complicated relationship with his father.

Eventually Todd got sober and has managed to stay that way for 5 years, thanks in part to the environment provided by Alcoholics Anonymous.

He doesn’t have the answers and he hates the idea of telling anyone else how to fix their problems. What he does have to share is a real experience and he’ll give it to you straight.

This is Todd Ley...

------

Find more info about Todd and order his book 'Smashed' here: https://toddley.com.au/

In Australia, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, 1 in 100 are ectopic, and thousands of babies are born still each year.

Child loss during pregnancy is utterly devastating for the people who experience it—and despite being so common, the grief that follows often remains hidden. This is especially true for men, who can feel obligated to suppress their own distress in order to stay strong for their partner, unintentionally sidelining the magnitude of their own loss.

Through her work as a clinical psychologist and CEO of Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia, Julie Borninkhof has dedicated her career to supporting people through pregnancy loss, postnatal depression, and the quiet, often unseen struggles that many parents face.

In this episode, we chat about what it’s really like for men to lose a child—the isolation, the strain on relationships, and the pressure to move on too quickly. We explore why so many men struggle to give themselves permission to grieve, and where to begin to process a loss like this.

Julie blends clinical insight with human understanding—and she might have some of the answers you're looking for.

This is Julie Borninkhof...

-----------

PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 (9am-7:30pm Monday-Saturday) or panda.org.au
PANDA also offers an online mental health checklist for new and expecting parents to check for possible signs of perinatal anxiety, depression, and well-being concerns.