We are wrapping up our series on identity crisis. I am sure this is not the last we will talk about identity crises, because as moms, we go through so many changes throughout our lives. If you're looking around your quiet house and thinking, “Wait—who am I now?”—you’re not alone.

According to a 2023 study by AARP, 60% of empty nesters report experiencing a loss of identity after their children leave home. More than half - and like our previous stats about PPD - this number feels LOW!

Because everything always seems fine, until it’s not! It’s crazy that these things just aren’t really talked about. During our research, we had trouble finding facts around this because people sort of gloss over the hard parts. Because this isn’t postpartum or menopause or another “named” phase—we don’t always talk about it. Which leads to that isolating feeling of, “Is it just me?” Or being an empty nester is viewed in such a positive light, or like a “you got your freedom back - now you can travel - or whatever.” But not… You just spent the last 18+ years caring for children, and now that part of you is no longer in service. What happens when you come home from work now? What do your weekends look like? How are you spending your time? It’s wild!

And have you thought to yourself, Why does this stage hit so deep? Well, because motherhood becomes part of your core identity. And let’s be real—society doesn’t help. We’re praised for being selfless, for putting everyone else first. But when your full-time caregiving role ends, there’s this echo of “Now what?”

As therapist and author Dr. Shefali Tsabary puts it:

“We begin to confuse our role with our identity. When the role ends, we feel as though our identity has disappeared too.”

Check out:

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This episode is the second in our identity crisis series, which is about what it feels like when our kids go to school. Maybe you were a stay-at-home mom, and now your kids are gone during the day. What now? Maybe you work a 9-5 and your schedule has to adapt to school hours, and who you are in your career has to shift. One question I see asked all the time in my mom groups is: I’m traveling with my kids, what are all your tips and tricks?! I love that we are doing this episode! I have asked a couple of friends who I know travel with kids regularly for some tips, so we will share those too!

Or maybe you are a new mom and sending your baby to daycare. That is a tough transition, and you’re trying to make sure you are making the right choice for yourself and your baby. Before having that baby, decisions were so much easier because they involved one less person, and for that matter, one person who can’t make decisions on their own. This could mean part-time daycare or jumping right into full-time daycare. There are so many emotions that come with that.

Just know that you are not alone!

About 70% of mothers report feeling a loss of purpose or direction when children first go to school full-time.

Check out:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this episode, we are starting a new series all about identity crises. We’ll explore three different phases of life that all involve a shift in who we are as mothers and as women. We are starting with the change that comes when we become mothers, the birth and postpartum phase. The next two episodes we go into when our kids start school and when we become empty nesters (someday for us!)

In reality, around 10–20% of mothers experience clinically significant postpartum depression (World Health Organization).

Postpartum & Birth Resources:

✨ These resources are not a substitute for medical care, but they’re a great place to start if you’re looking for support.

👉 These are also resources we wish we had known about during our own postpartum journeys. You’re not alone. 💛

General Support & Education

• Postpartum Support International (PSI): www.postpartum.net – Free resources, peer support, and access to mental health professionals.
  📞 Helpline (call or text): 1-800-944-4773 (English & Español)

• The Fourth Trimester Project: www.newmomhealth.com – Research-backed info and tools for the first 12 weeks after birth.

• Evidence Based Birth: www.evidencebasedbirth.com – Articles, podcasts, and resources on pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care.

Mental Health & Community

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org – For immediate mental health support.
  📞 Dial or text 988 anytime.
• The Motherhood Center: www.themotherhoodcenter.com – Virtual therapy and support groups for pregnancy and postpartum mental health.
• Postpartum Progress: www.postpartumprogress.com – Community and resources for postpartum depression, anxiety, and related challenges.

Check out:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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