You Are Allowed to Choose a Life That Doesn’t Hurt

In this manifesto-style year-end episode, Kelley closes out 2025 by naming the new foundation of Black Girl Burnout: five gentle “commandments” designed to help Black women opt out of struggle and choose softness, joy, and liberation. Reflecting on a year of global change, personal evolution, and collective exhaustion, she reframes rest, ease, joy, softness, and freedom from unnecessary pain as non-negotiable truths—not rewards. This episode sets the tone for 2026 and introduces the four pillars guiding the podcast forward: soft life liberation, practical healing for real life, joy and creative living, and sustainable money, work, and productivity without burnout.

Key Takeaways

• Rest is not a reward—it is the first response and a necessary foundation for clarity, creativity, and survival.
• Ease and excellence are not opposites; joy- and ease-led living creates more sustainable success.
• Joy is not frivolous—it is data that helps guide decisions, boundaries, and aligned living.
• You are allowed to choose a life that does not hurt, even if no one around you ever has.

Episode Highlights + TIMESTAMPS

• 00:02:44 – Introducing the Black Girl Burnout Commandments and why this moment calls for a new foundation
• 00:05:10 – Commandment #1: Rest as the first response, not the last resort
• 00:06:30 – Commandment #2: Why ease is not the enemy of excellence
• 00:08:09 – Commandment #3: Joy as a powerful and necessary data point
• 00:13:00 – Commandment #5: Choosing a life that does not hurt—and opting out of inherited struggle

An Invitation for the Year Ahead

If this episode resonated, choose just one commandment to carry with you into 2026. Let it be a quiet anchor rather than a checklist. And if you want to go deeper, you’re invited to join Kelley on Substack for monthly workshops and Q&A—designed with joy, ease, and sustainability at the center.

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its almost like she's speaking to me.

I've listened to her all year and feel seen, understood and supported. She's amazing. Just a few of your episodes had me crying in relief, from crying for help for so long and didn't know it. I'm grateful for your soothing and passionate delivery to help with burnout. Thank you for creating this space for us Queen 🥹❤️