The plagues continue with swarms of monstrous bugs, things that go bump in the night, and straight up murder. Moses stars in ten seconds of an awesome action movie before it’s back to the now-familiar pattern of death, destruction, and Pharaoh’s clogged arteries. The Hebrews finally get to leave Egypt, much to the delight of the tiny number of surviving Egyptians, and they take all the booty they can find on their way out. We wrap up by spending more time with a character so irredeemably evil and bloodthirsty that he makes Sauron look like an amateur: no, it’s not Pharaoh, it’s God! At least he has a delicious recipe for lamb served with flatbread and some tips for decorating your house to have the best Halloween ever. (Exodus 10:1-13:16)

After God fails to boost workplace morale, he attempts to use Moses to free the Hebrews from slavery while giving Pharaoh a case of heart disease. Seven disgusting plagues and one classic arcade game later, Pharaoh’s arteries are hard as rocks, but the Hebrews are still enslaved. But forget about God’s rookie negotiating mistakes – you’ve never before seen such beautiful shots of dead fish, dead frogs, and dead cattle in a TV show! (Exodus 6:2-9:35)

We open Season 2 with a Pharaoh who takes a Thanos-like approach to solving overpopulation by killing all of the male Hebrew babies. One lucky tot rides the rapids in a mini-ark instead and is adopted by the princess, who names him Moses. Moses steps away from his privileged upbringing to embrace a more Batman lifestyle, and then has to get the hell out of Dodge before the authorities arrest him for murder. He settles down in Midian for a quiet life until God video chats him via Burning Bush to recruit him for his buddy cop movie. After a lot of pushback, Moses finally agrees to go on tour with God’s magic tricks, prompting Pharaoh to double down on the oppression. Tune in next week to see if God will make good on his Rube-Goldberg-like plan to free the Hebrews! (Exodus 1:1-6:1)

Marcus and Deanna review Season 1: Genesis. Is a shadowy figure secretly pulling God’s strings from behind the scenes? What’s the best use for the ark now that shooting is done? What counts as a blessing anyway? Tune in for the answers to all of these questions and more, plus the winners of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition!

Season finale! Jacob comes down with an acute case of “I’m gonna die soon” and gathers his sons for one last chance to complain about that time Reuben had sex with Jacob’s concubine. Jacob also attempts to bless Joseph’s sons but Joseph comes out of left field with an obsession about using the “right” hand. Asher appears destined to run a world class bakery, and Simeon and Levi reminisce about peaking in high school. After Jacob is mummified, wrestling legend The Undertaker literally crashes the funeral and God once again makes the eulogy all about him. Egypt closes for 70 days while all the civil servants bring Jacob’s body to the family mausoleum in Canaan, and the resulting backup in paperwork nearly destroys the economy. Joseph’s brothers fear that without Daddy around, Joseph will go back to his vengeful ways. But Joseph forgives and forgets before he too dies, is mummified, and presumably prepares for a Season 2 return as a zombie. (Genesis 47:28-50:26)

Joseph pulls the plug on his revenge plans after his brothers turn their groveling up to 11. Joseph removes his glasses in a Clark-Kent-to-Superman-style striptease, but his brothers don’t believe it’s him until Benjamin confirms the match with his cool sci-fi de-cloaking device. Following this tearful reunion, the brothers try to convince their dad that meeting Joseph in Egypt isn’t just some online scam. Jacob’s convinced to make the trip after God stars in a fast-talking radio commercial. Pharaoh offers them the best of Egypt even though their chosen profession is apparently a moral affront to all right-thinking Egyptians. The episode ends with the Egyptian government backsliding into a form of capitalism that makes The Wolf of Wall Street look tame. (Genesis 44:18-47:27)

When Pharaoh’s sleep is disrupted by terrifying dreams of vampire cows, he springs world-renowned Dream Reader Joseph from jail. Joseph concludes that seven years of famine can be prevented by opening a brewery and setting up a strong social security system. Delighted by this news, Pharaoh makes Joseph his right-hand man and supermarket manager. Joseph’s brothers come by for their weekly grocery shop and are fooled by his Groucho Marx glasses. Joseph trolls them further by demanding they bring him their remaining brother, Benjamin. After a lavish meal, Joseph frames them for the theft of his favorite goblet. Has Joseph’s revenge gone too far? God’s taking the week off, so we get to be the judge! (Genesis 41:1-44:17)

Joseph is out and proud with a fancy coat from his adoring father. Between that and his obsession with reading his dream journal out loud, the rest of his brothers have had enough and sell him into slavery. Judah has three sons, all of whom he aims to marry to Tamar, since she makes the best Thanksgiving casserole that anyone has ever tasted. Unfortunately, God keeps smiting the sons for infractions ranging from securities fraud to using the withdrawal method. When Tamar learns that Judah won’t honor his promise of marriage to the last son, she goes to Victoria’s Secret and gets his goat in more ways than one! Meanwhile, Joseph is thrown in an Egyptian jail for saying “no” to Mrs. Robinson. (Genesis 37:1–40:23)