"It’s no longer getting healthy because I should. It’s getting healthy because I’m trying to become fit for fatherhood—physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally."

In this heartfelt catch-up, I sat down with my dear friend and brother, Scott Hanson — a man whose life story reminds me (and all of us) what happens when you listen to your gut, surrender to change, and build a life of intentional service and community.

Scott and I rewinded the tape all the way back to where it began: the mountains of Nepal eight years ago, swinging hammers, sharing tea, and learning the quiet power of living and working in true community. From there, our paths kept crossing: weddings, big moves, late-night conversations, and, on this day, a milestone moment — we recorded this just after his baby shower for twins (!) in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2023.

This episode celebrates a friendship rooted in adventure, honesty, and mutual witness; the tender power of becoming a father — and how it pushes a man to grow up again and again; Scott’s reflections on leaving behind old habits, building new ones (think: haikus); the sacred role of community, especially in the western world where isolation can feel all too normal; his commitment to raising kids in a world with more connection, care, and good mischief.

We laughed, we teared up, we time-traveled through Scott’s memories — from engineering "empty buildings" in the California Bay Area to building schools & community in Nepal, and now a family rooted in ancestral soil.

I have witnessed Scott become the man, husband, and father he had journaled about.

Look for him under Scout Rockwell on Spotify and other platforms — half of the Wilderness Within soundtrack has his fingerprints all over them. And, @scout.rockwell on Insta.

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Follow & engage @wildernesswithinpod

Support this podcast (and more): patreon.com/subtledream

Wilderness Within (WW) is made possible due to the ongoing financial support of patreon supporters. We are big fans of the value-driven, pay-it-forward model, and the reason why you won't hear razor subscriptions or VPN discounts offered is thanks to the supporters who pitch in each month. Besides becoming a patron, some of the best ways to support this podcast is to share this episode or show with a friend, and to rate WW on Spotify, Apple, or your favourite listening platform. Whatever you are able to do, thank you!

Special thanks also to Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to the following humans - Paul J., Antoine M., Aiyana B., Deborah C., Rene D., Luke F., Kelly P., Carina F., Kelsea L., Khen R., Kelsey Y., Michael C., Evan S., Kristine S., Lindsay C., Anne G., Yu Shan C., Otis S. Steven T., Steven M., Steph P., Anna W., Camila N., Dana W., Naira d. G., Dora L., Orion H., Michelle K., Steven W., Jackie C. S., Romar S., Peter W., Jacky C., Tsetop S., Frankie L., Jim B. Lisa C., Marek B., Mikey L., Alex A., and more past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!

In this deeply personal solo episode, yours truly, Kai J., return to one of the lands that raised me—Los Angeles—to walk, reflect, and speak aloud the truths that have shaped my latest chapter. Through spontaneous storytelling on the trail, I explore what it means to finally meet the hero I've been searching for: myself. From honouring ancestral roots and interviewing my parents on camera for the first time, to shedding victimhood and stepping into authorship of my own life story, this is an intimate meditation on privilege, presence, and the power of becoming our own witness. Blending ancestral reverence with humble awe for modern miracles, I invite all listeners into a moment of grounded gratitude and radical self-honesty. This episode is a reminder that storytelling isn’t just for others—it’s for the future self, too. Whether we're in transition, healing family dynamics, or redefining our own path, this episode holds space for the question: What story are we here to tell—and are we brave enough to be its protagonist?

Kai J.'s website: subtledream.com

Instagram: @subtledream

Newsletter: subtledream.kit.com/profile

Patreon to support my newsletter & this podcast: patreon.com/subtledream

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Wilderness Within (WW) is made possible due to the ongoing financial support of patreon supporters. We are big fans of the value-driven, pay-it-forward model, and the reason why you won't hear razor subscriptions or VPN discounts offered is thanks to the supporters who pitch in each month. Besides becoming a patron, some of the best ways to support this podcast is to share this episode or show with a friend, and to rate WW on Spotify, Apple, or your favourite listening platform. Whatever you are able to do, thank you! Follow & engage @wildernesswithinpod on Instagram.

Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to the following humans - Paul J., Antoine M., Aiyana B., Deborah C., Rene D., Luke F., Kelly P., Carina F., Kelsea L., Khen R., Kelsey Y., Michael C., Evan S., Kristine S., Lindsay C., Anne G., Yu Shan C., Otis S. Steven T., Steven M., Steph P., Anna W., Camila N., Dana W., Naira d. G., Dora L., Orion H., Michelle K., Steven W., Jackie C. S., Romar S., Peter W., Jacky C., Tsetop S., Frankie L., Jim B. Lisa C., Marek B., Mikey L., Alex A., and more past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!

After a hiatus, we're back! This episode features a very special guest and friend, Tamara Wilder.

Tamara became fascinated by ancient living skills in at age 19 when she attended an Ancient Living Skills gathering. She was “hooked” and quickly began incorporating the practice of skills into her daily experience. Ever since, she has been dedicating her life to enjoying, learning, researching, experimenting with, writing about and teaching Paleo Technologies through a variety of programs, workshops & demonstrations on a range of skill topics at a plethora of locations through her company Paleotechnics.

Now, over 30 years later, she runs programs in stringmaking, firemaking, rope making & hunting technology and other fiber arts for grade school students all around Northern California as well as adult workshops in the Pacific Northwest and is co-author of the book Buckskin: The Ancient Art of Braintanning, a series of Paleotechnics Handbooks and numerous chapters in other books.

Tamara's offerings, information, and contact can be found via https://www.paleotechnics.com

Her patreon: https://www.patreon.com/paleotechnics

The Spirit Weavers gathering: https://spiritweaversgathering.com/

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Wilderness Within (WW) is made possible due to the ongoing financial support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream). We are big fans of the value-driven, pay-it-forward model, and the reason why you won't hear razor subscriptions or VPN discounts offered is thanks to the supporters who pitch in each month. Besides becoming a patron, some of the best ways to support this podcast is to share this episode or show with a friend, and to rate WW on Spotify, Apple, or your favourite listening platform. Whatever you are able to do, thank you! Follow & engage @wildernesswithinpod on Instagram.

Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to the following humans - Paul J., Antoine M., Aiyana B., Deborah C., Rene D., Luke F., Kelly P., Carina F., Kelsea L., Khen R., Kelsey Y., Michael C., Evan S., Kristine S., Lindsay C., Anne G., Yu Shan C., Otis S. Steven T., Steven M., Steph P., Anna W., Camila N., Dana W., Naira d. G., Dora L., Orion H., Michelle K., Steven W., Jackie C. S., Romar S., Peter W., Jacky C., Tsetop S., Frankie L., Jim B. Lisa C., Marek B., Mikey L., Alex A., and more past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!