Why You Are Addicted to Your Own Suffering (And How to Stop)
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Why You Are Addicted to Your Own Suffering (And How to Stop)
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Here is a hard truth that might make you want to click away: You might be in love with your own pain.
In this episode of Sober Psychology, we aren't sugarcoating anything. I’m pulling back the curtain on the Victim Mentality—the psychological state where we define ourselves by what happened to us, rather than what we can do about it.
As a psychologist in training, I see this pattern constantly. We confuse having trauma (which isn't your fault) with staying a victim (which is a choice). We are going to dive into the psychology of Secondary Gain (what you actually get out of staying stuck) and look at the brutal, life-changing question Jesus asked the paralyzed man in John 5: "Do you want to get well?"
If you feel like life is constantly happening to you, or you’re waiting for an apology that’s never coming before you move forward, this video is your wake-up call. The cage is unlocked. It’s time to walk out.
In this episode, we cover:
- The Difference: Trauma vs. Victim Identity.
- Psychology 101: What is "Secondary Gain" and "Learned Helplessness"?
- The Biblical Truth: Why Jesus refused to pity the man at the Pool of Bethesda.
- Neuroscience: How you can literally become addicted to the stress chemicals of your own drama.
- The Solution: Radical Ownership and how to stop "cuddling your trauma."
👇 Are you ready to pick up your mat? Let me know in the comments.
Resources & Scripture Mentioned:
- John 5 (The Healing at the Pool)
- Martin Seligman’s Studies on Learned Helplessness
- Locus of Control Theory
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Chapters:
- 0:00 - Intro
- 2:10 - The Psychology of Secondary Gain (Why We Stay Sick)
- 3:25 - The Biblical Smackdown (Jesus and the Invalid)
- 5:00 - The Addiction to Cortisol
- 5:40 - The Solution/ Conclusion
#VictimMentality #SoberPsychology #ChristianCounseling #MentalHealthAwareness #ToughLove #BiblicalTruth #TraumaRecovery #Psychology #RadicalOwnership #John5 #FaithAndMentalHealth