Why We Eat to Cope: The Compassion That Changes Everything

In today’s powerful episode, I sit down with someone whose story moved me deeply — Jonathan Mclernon, an emotional eating coach who has lost over 100 pounds and, more importantly, rebuilt his relationship with himself after surviving a brutal trauma that nearly took his life.What struck me most about Jonathan isn’t just his expertise, but the profound self-awareness and compassion he has cultivated through some of the darkest moments a person can experience.This conversation is for anyone who has ever wondered why they sabotage, why they eat to soothe, why certain patterns feel impossible to break — and why “just try harder” has never been the answer.What We Explore Together1. The Trauma That Changed EverythingJonathan shares the moment he was nearly killed in South Africa and how the aftermath — the fear, the anger, the anxiety — led him into emotional eating and rapid weight gain. As he spoke, I could feel the weight of those emotions, and also the courage it takes to revisit them so others can feel understood.2. Why Emotional Eating Is Not About FoodWhat I love about Jonathan’s work is how aligned it is with mine: Every behavior makes sense when we understand the story behind it.He explains how food became his escape when his mind no longer felt like a safe place — and how many of us repeat this pattern, not because we lack discipline, but because we lack relief.3. The Radical Power of CompassionJonathan describes compassion as the turning point in his healing — compassion for the men who hurt him, but even more powerfully, compassion for himself. It reminded me so much of what I teach: Healing begins when we stop punishing ourselves and start understanding ourselves.His coach modeled compassion in a way that dismantled years of shame and self-loathing — and it was this emotional safety that finally allowed him to change.4. The Real Story Behind Before-and-After TransformationsJonathan hosts a podcast called Between the Before and After, where he explores the messy, uncomfortable, human parts of transformation.He shared a metaphor I loved — the “tunnel of sewage”: Transformation isn’t a rainbow into the clouds. It’s wading through discomfort, setbacks, emotions, and old beliefs… but it’s where the $10 million life is waiting.This honest conversation reminded me how important it is to normalize the hard parts — because the hard parts are where transformation is actually happening.5. Healing Identity, Victimhood, and Self-WorthWe talk about the seductive nature of victimhood, how it provides significance, and why many of us cling to identities that hurt us. And we explore what happens when we choose to shift our significance onto something greater — our children, our purpose, our integrity, our desire to serve.Jonathan’s story is a living, breathing example of that shift.Key TakeawaysEmotional eating is not a flaw — it’s a coping mechanism for unmet emotional needs.Compassion is the foundation of all lasting change.You cannot hate yourself into a version of yourself you love.Healing is not linear — setbacks are part of the nervous system reorganizing.You can forgive without excusing.Your transformation is not supposed to look perfect.Listen to more episodes at makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and YouTube.Listen to more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe to me on Spotify, Podcast, and YouTube so you never miss an episode!Join my Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with me: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Go deeper: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share your biggest takeaway and tag me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn