Why Self Regulation Is Killing Your Intimacy

🌱 If you’re feeling called to practice this work in real time, our flagship offering Evolutionary Relationship - The Initiation, price is increasing in two weeks—join at the current rate here. → https://www.sacredrelating.com/sacred-weIf you’ve been told to take space, go into another room, and self-regulate before reconnecting with your partner, this episode may completely change how you understand intimacy.In the conscious relationship and nervous-system world, self-regulation is often treated as the gold standard for healing conflict. But what if focusing on self-regulation alone is actually creating more separation, loneliness, and disconnection in your relationship?In this deeply embodied episode, Mike & Courtney challenge the self-regulation myth and introduce a radically different approach: co-regulation as the foundation of intimacy. Drawing from attachment science, developmental psychology, and real moments from their own relationship, they explain why humans learn regulation through connection — not isolation — and why intimacy deepens fastest when partners become regulation buddies.They share how ruptures that once lasted days now resolve in minutes, why taking space too soon can reinforce attachment wounds, and how learning to stay together in dysregulation builds trust, safety, polarity, and desire.✨ In this episode:Why self-regulation alone can deepen separationHow co-regulation actually builds nervous-system resilienceWhy taking space too quickly can backfireThe concept of becoming “regulation buddies”The golden rule: connection before communicationChapters:00:00 Introduction to the Self-Regulation Myth00:51 Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation01:23 Special Offer Announcement02:13 Challenging Relationship Myths03:00 The Self-Regulation Myth Explained04:01 The Power of Co-Regulation05:11 Personal Experiences and Insights08:00 The Sacred We Space23:29 Practical Applications and Success Stories42:24 Conclusion and Invitation🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.sacredrelating.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.sacredrelating.com/sacred-relating-couplesWork with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coachingWork with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlistDonation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏⁠https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4⁠Email:⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠Website:⁠⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠⁠www.sacredrelaring.comwww.courtneywren.comInstagram:@[e-mail]S MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHERTHE SKIN DEEP CARDS: ⁠https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all⁠Promo Code: Together15