Why Men Seek Male Approval

In this special listener-requested episode of Clear Minds In Color, mental-health coach Robert Saint Michael explores the psychology behind homosociality — the way men form identity and belonging through the approval of other men — and how this behavior shapes emotional connection, power, and intimacy.

Originally inspired by a viral clip from beauty influencer Shamsi Rashid (@shamsiiito), this conversation takes a deeper look at how social dominance theory, gender roles, and cultural conditioning influence the way men navigate vulnerability and validation.

We unpack what these theories get right — and what they miss — about modern masculinity.

From the “protector” role in heterosexual relationships to the myth that male closeness threatens sexuality, this episode challenges stereotypes and explores how healthy brotherhood can be a space for care, empathy, and identity-building.

Key themes:

• The difference between homosociality and homosexuality

• How social dominance theory shapes belonging and approval

• The emotional cost of the “protector” role in relationships

• Gender role conflict and the struggle to be seen

• New research showing men are building vulnerability into masculinity

Hosted by: Robert Saint Michael

Presented by: Clear Minds In Color — evidence-based strategies for emotional wellness and modern mental health.

Learn more: clearmindsincolor.com

Referenced in This Episode

• Shamsi Rashid — Instagram: @shamsiiito

• Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick (1985) – Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire

• Gayle Rubin (1975) – The Traffic in Women: Notes on the Political Economy of Sex

• Sidanius & Pratto (1999) – Social Dominance: An Intergroup Theory of Social Hierarchy and Oppression

• Michael Flood (2008) – Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Relations with Women

• Jeff Hearn (2012) – Men, Masculinities and Gender Relations

• Mahalik, Burns, & Syzdek (2007) – Masculinity and Perceived Normative Health Behaviors in Men

• Frederick, Fessler, & Haselton (2016) – Do Men Suppress Vulnerability in Romantic Relationships?

• O’Neil, Good, & Holmes (1995) – Gender Role Conflict Theory

• Simon & Nath (2004) – Gender and Emotion in the United States

• Levant, Wimer, & Williams (2011) – Masculinity Constructs and Relationship Quality in Men

• Eric Anderson (2009) – Inclusive Masculinity: The Changing Nature of Masculinities

• bell hooks (2004) – The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

• Raewyn Connell (2015) – Masculinities (2nd Ed.)

• Simon Baron-Cohen (2011) – The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty

• Christopher Boehm (1999) – Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior