Why “Just Try Harder” Never Works—And What to Do Instead

If you’ve ever tried to start something simple—doing the dishes, sending the email, getting out the door—and still somehow couldn’t make it happen, this episode is for you.

Russ Jones is back with Isabelle and David to go deeper into what actually works when ADHD makes even the smallest task feel impossible. You can go back and listen to part one of their conversation here.

Russ, ADHD wellness coach and creator of ADHD Big Brother, gets candid about his own patterns and tools—and how even with all his knowledge and experience, he still gets stuck sometimes. But instead of spiraling into shame or "just try harder" mode, this episode is about finding your way back to momentum without beating yourself up.

Here’s what's coming your way:

• How to use behavioral momentum to get moving again—by starting small and stacking tiny wins
• Why body doubling isn’t just helpful—it’s a core support strategy (especially on the hard days)
• The exact self-check-in Russ uses to stay consistent without self-blame—and how you can try it too

David also unpacks why these tools work from a neuroscience perspective, Isabelle shares her own struggles with task initiation, and the group unpacks how perfectionism can sneak in and sabotage even our best intentions!

Want to try Russ’s method? He shares a free downloadable guide called Ready, Set, Go! to help you start with the smallest possible step. You can get it by signing up for his newsletter at adhdbigbrother.com. You can also check out the ADHD Big Brother Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

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Wait—What’s That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode you might want a quick refresher on:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): A structured approach that helps identify and reframe unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Russ talks about using CBT to take shame out of the equation and break tasks down into achievable steps.

ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): A therapy modality that encourages accepting uncomfortable thoughts without judgment and taking action based on values. David and Isabelle briefly reference it while discussing internal self-talk.

Behavioral Momentum: A strategy where doing one small task can help you build enough mental energy to do the next one. Key concept discussed by Russ when he shares how to stack tiny wins.

Body Doubling: A method where simply doing a task alongside someone else (virtually or in person) helps increase focus and follow-through. Russ talks about this as a game-changing tool for him and his community.

Compassionate Check-Ins: A self-inquiry tool Russ uses regularly—quick moments to assess what’s working and what’s not, without self-judgment.

Russell Barkley: A prominent clinical psychologist known for his research on ADHD, mentioned by Isabelle while discussing the neurological underpinnings of executive dysfunction.

Coaching vs. Therapy: Russ clarifies that he’s a coach, not a therapist—he works from lived experience and ADHD-specific tools to help people build structure and momentum.

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🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.