Why Getting Help With ADHD Can Feel So Complicated

Ever needed extra time, extra support, or a different way of doing something and immediately thought, “Wait… is this cheating?”

Yeah. That feeling is way more common than you think.

This week, David and Isabelle are back on stage at the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for the second part of their live conversation with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance. Jesse has been part of this community for years as a mentor, leader, and now the person helping guide the organization forward. The Leadership Summit is where Neurodiversity Alliance mentors and student leaders from across the country gather for training, storytelling, and connection. It’s a room full of neurodivergent students learning how to talk about their brains with confidence—and how to help younger kids do the same.

In this part of the live conversation, Safia Mohammed, a Brooklyn-based nursing student and Neurodiversity Alliance Student Ambassador who’s been part of the community for several years, joins the conversation. She shares her story about something a lot of neurodivergent people wrestle with: the uncomfortable feeling that needing support somehow means you're doing something wrong.

Safia talks about her experience first received an IEP (Individualized Education Program) in elementary school. At the time, it felt confusing. She was being pulled out of class for extra help and didn’t really understand why. And like a lot of neurodivergent kids, she started wondering something was wrong with her. David and Isabelle unpack why moments like that are so common in the neurodivergent experience, from the stigma around accommodations to the deeply ingrained belief that success only counts if it’s hard.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for help because you didn’t want to feel like you were getting an advantage, this conversation might shift how you think about support and what it’s actually there to do.

Here's what's coming your way:

• Safia’s story of receiving an IEP and why it felt confusing when she was younger
• The moment that changed how she understood accommodations
• Why so many neurodivergent people feel shame around getting support
• How stigma around accommodations keeps people from advocating for what they need

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Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:

IEP (Individualized Education Program): A formal education plan used in U.S. schools to provide accommodations and support for students with learning differences or disabilities. These supports can include extra time on tests, alternative learning environments, or additional instructional support designed to help students demonstrate what they actually know.

Accommodations: Adjustments made in school or work environments that allow people with learning differences or disabilities to access the same opportunities as others. Examples include extended time on exams, quieter testing environments, or different ways of presenting information.

Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included.

OI: A term used by members of the Neurodiversity Alliance community to refer to the organization’s annual leadership summit where mentors and student leaders gather for training and connection.

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💬 Have you ever had a moment where getting support changed how you saw your abilities? Tell us your story in the comments on Spotify.

🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.