We grow up believing that a good relationship means good sex.

That if you’re having enough of it…
If the chemistry is there…
If the spark hasn’t faded…

Then everything else must be working.

But that’s not always true.

Because you can be having loads of sex…
And still feel completely disconnected.

In this reflection episode of Why Do I, I unpack one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve had around relationships… following my conversation with Henika Patel.

I open up about how I used to measure the success of a relationship through sex alone…
Why so many men fall into that trap…
And how that way of thinking can quietly damage something that could’ve been meaningful.

We get into why desire naturally changes over time…
The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire…
And why chasing the early “dopamine phase” can stop you from building something deeper.

I also share my own experiences with validation, distraction, and not having the tools to communicate properly in relationships…
And why most couples aren’t actually struggling with sex - they’re struggling with connection.

If you’ve ever questioned your attraction in a relationship…
If things have felt different over time…
If you’ve ever used sex as a way to measure how things are going…

This episode will shift the way you see it.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enHenika: https://www.instagram.com/henika.x/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

#WhyDoI #Relationships

We grow up believing connection should just… happen.

That if you love someone enoughIf the relationship is right enoughIf you’re close enough…

That spark should stay the same forever.

But then real life kicks in.

Stress.

Routine.

Pressure.

Emotional distance.

And slowly, the connection that once felt effortless starts to feel harder to hold onto.In this episode of Why Do I, I’m joined by Henika Patel, founder of the School of Sensual Arts.

Henika helps us understand why closeness can shift in long-term relationships and why so many couples struggle to talk about it honestly.

We unpack the difference between chasing intensity and building real connection…

Why the early “fireworks” phase naturally changes over time… and how relationships can become stronger when we stop expecting love to always look the way it did at the start.

If you’ve ever wondered why attraction changes over time…

If you’ve ever felt confused by distance in a relationship…

If you’ve ever loved someone deeply but struggled to feel close…

This episode is for you.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇

Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en

Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

Henika: https://www.instagram.com/henika.x/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

#WhyDoI #Relationships #Connection #Love

After my conversation with Julius Cowdrey about parental behaviour and generational patterns, something stayed with me long after the microphones were turned off…

What happens when you realise parts of your personality might not actually be yours?
When you start to see how your parents’ wounds quietly shaped the way you love, react, and run from things?

We talk a lot about childhood trauma. But we rarely talk about the quiet fear of becoming our parents.

In this solo reflection, I open up about:

• Growing up with an absent father and the complicated grief that followed

• The pressure of trying to be the “good son” for a parent who sacrificed everything

• The moment at 32 when I looked in the mirror and felt like I had become my dad

• Avoidant attachment and why running can feel like freedom• Discovering my father’s own childhood abandonment and how that changed everything

• Why understanding our parents’ pain can be the first step to breaking generational cycles

If you’ve ever worried you might repeat your parents’ mistakes…If you’ve ever felt trapped between loyalty to your family and the need to become your own person…If you’ve ever questioned whether your patterns are truly yours…

This episode is for you.

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster