Why Christmas Is Harder Than It Looks for Neurodivergent Families | NeuroDADverse Ep.29

Episode 29 🎧 This week, Ben and Dan reflect on the strange, in-between days of Christmas and New Year, a time full of transitions, heightened expectations, social pressure, and emotional regulation challenges for neurodivergent children and their families.

This episode explores what Christmas actually feels like inside an ND household: the joy, the overwhelm, the near-meltdowns, the patience required, and the moments of magic that arrive when expectations are softened.

In this episode, we talk about:

•Why “betwixtmas” can be especially dysregulating

•Managing multiple social events and transitions in a short space of time

•The emotional toll of public spaces, crowds, and sensory overload

•Parenting through near-meltdowns — calmly, visibly, and without shame

•When your child feels judged, even if nothing is said

•Letting go of rigid Christmas plans

•Why familiarity matters more than tradition

•Teen independence, first social outings, and trust

•Food wins, surprise flexibility, and regulation through choice

•The power of calm, patience, and kindness (even when you’re being watched)

Chapter Breakdown

00:00 – Intro & Welcome to Betwixtmas

01:48 – A Meaningful Christmas Gift & Facing Anxiety

04:26 – Three Words of the Week: Magic, Patience & Negotiation

06:02 – Busy Christmas Schedules & Multiple Transitions

07:48 – Social Energy, Table Time & Regulation

08:45 – The Challenge of Transitions Between Events

09:36 – Why ND Kids Can’t “Just Drop In”

10:59 – Leaving Places Is a Process, Not a Moment

12:42 – Managing Expectations Around Family Gatherings

14:54 – Feeling Observed While Parenting in Public

16:13 – Vulnerability, Judgment & Staying Calm

18:05 – Simplifying Language for Regulation

19:21 – Trusting Others With Your ND Child

20:08 – The Best Transitions Are Child-Led

21:34 – Comparing This Christmas to Last Year

22:37 – Growth Doesn’t Always Look Calm

24:56 – Lowering Expectations to Reduce Stress

26:10 – When Kids Say “Now” and Adults Say “Tomorrow”

27:40 – Being the Parent You Talk About on the Podcast

28:27 – Respectful Family Spaces & Shared Understanding

29:23 – Gift Shopping, Crowds & Sensory Overload

30:31 – Advocating Without Pushing Too Far

32:08 – Gender Expression, Visibility & Public Reaction

33:19 – Near-Meltdown in a Busy Supermarket

35:09 – The World Isn’t Built for Our Kids (and That Hurts)

36:10 – Food Wins & Unexpected Flexibility

37:34 – Returning to the Wins After Regulation

38:54 – Building Traditions That Work for Your Family

41:00 – Letting Kids Lead the Day

43:43 – Not Chasing a “Typical” Christmas

45:09 – First Independent Social Outings

47:29 – Trust, Pride & Letting Go

48:41 – Shared Rituals & Christmas Magic

50:41 – Surprise Gifts & Removing Wish-List Pressure

52:16 – Letting Kids Play at Their Own Pace

52:56 – Shared Gaming, Connection & Calm

54:34 – A Diagnosed Christmas & New Awareness

55:18 – Expectations vs Reality

56:59 – Why Cats Might Be Regulating (Maybe!)

57:31 – Looking Ahead to New Year

58:29 – Low-Pressure Gatherings & Familiar Spaces

01:00:23 – Family Games, Choice & Autonomy

01:02:36 – Cold Water Swims & Regulation

01:06:53 – Six Months of The NeuroDADverse

🎙️ Two dads. One mission. Raising ND kids in a very NT world.

💡 If this episode resonates, whether you’re a zebra, a stripy horse, or still figuring it all out. There’s space for you in the NeuroDADverse.

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